Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Moms

Chastise
Advise
Outcries
Replies
Mothers try to help~chastise, advise
Never listening~outcries, replies

Author notes

Gosh i hope i did this right.  it was difficult, but i hope i pulled it off.
I attempted a Tyburn.
Written June 20th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Arcsc
    June 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oooooo... tahnks for pointing that out... i would have never even thought that one out...

    wow, this is a lot harder than i though!! lol
    thank sagain, i fix it as soon as i can!
    thanks again!
    ~ARCSC

  • Tumbleweed
    June 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice piece, good job finding so many two syllable words that rhyme [that's hard, isn't it?] Unfortunately, your form is a little off ~ "the first four lines are used as the fifth* through eighth* syllables." That means it should be:
    La la la la chastise, advise la
    La la la la outcries, replies la
    If that makes any sense


  • June 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    good luck with the contest