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Seven Sickly Sweet Sins

Seven Sickly Sweet Sins
A rich tradition of perdition
Passed down by ancestral kin
A poor reason for coercion
To stem the flow of souls which bear such implications within
Those predators disguised as sheep whom slipped past the gates of heaven

Pride
The true mother of all our sins
Birthing abominations from her womb
Which all to soon had consumed
The humble men once residing within

Kin to such sin
We concealed our empty shells behind impermeable shields

Envy
Coveting others lovely things,
We secretly pined to make them ours
Such jealousy had easily overpowered
And perverted our dreams

Kin to such sin
We foolishly traded an eye for an eye and a life for a life

Gluttony
We feasted to fill the void within
Gorging upon the plate of our blights
Such cruel appetites for sinful delights
Filled our bloated gullets to the brim

Kin to such sin
We're Shut-in, confined within the homes which became our tombs

Lust
Sins after the ever tempting, nay seductive flesh
To taste of such sweet, illustrious forbidden fruits
These trivial pursuits had left our lovers bruised
Clenching tight the hearts deep within sunken chests

Kin to such sin
We wore well the skins reaped to keep as distasteful trophies

Wrath
The grapes of wrath fermented such a sacrilegious wine
An acquired taste which we have yet to find bitter still
So perfect for the final meal of our infernal overkill
Hosting a banquet for enemies of our thinning bloodline

Kin to such sin
We brought to the table a fabled dish best served cold

Greed
Possessions we held quickly paled, fading in luster
Grasping for more though we always had plenty
Indeed this greed was spawned by our envy
A insatiable thirst for which we eternally suffer


Kin to such Sin
We extended our reach to claim the sun preventing the morning to come

Sloth
Life spent under muttered breaths, insipid, listless
A pitiful existence that sadly became all but lost
We lazy slobs whom fancied our selves posh
Wasted what once was viewed a gift so precious

Kin to such sin
We slowly decayed, rotting away alone with nothing to atone

Seven Sickly Sweet Sins
A poor tradition of submission
Passed down by ancestral kin
A rich reason for rebellion
Which served to arouse we the wolves of lush obsessions
To rise to the occasion, committing such high treason

So with nothing to lose
And even less to gain
God tied well the noose
From which we now hang
Pointing His finger towards we the damned who effortlessly sway
A reminder to all, "we have only our selves to blame"

Author notes

I read the rules and i went with choice #2!
Written June 20th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Haunted Doll
    December 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    "Lust
    Sins after the ever tempting, nay seductive flesh
    To taste of such sweet, illustrious forbidden fruits
    These trivial pursuits had left our lovers bruised
    Clenching tight the hearts deep within sunken chests"
    this one is my favorite.


  • Allure of a Rose
    November 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You're most welcome. Not one of your best? I don't know if I can believe that, but then again my taste is rather odd. But I suppose if this is what your rants look like I should see you at your best. I will most definitely check those out, but tonight or tomorrow though, I have to get to work at the moment.

    -Allura


  • Vae Victis
    November 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well thank you very much for the comment… this is not one of my best writes.. well it holds meaning and all but it does not show much of my poetic talent its more of a rant in some ways.. I need to go over it a bit and fine tune it .. my best are “The Ascension Of Melpomene To Stand Beside My Minds Throne “ or “The Blaze Once in my Veins” check out one of those and let me know what ya think.. I hope you are satisfied with them..

  • Allure of a Rose
    November 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, talk about creep up in a quiet seductive way and knock me face down. Very(!) nice job. I liked it a lot, I will probably bookmart as well as applaud. The repetition of "Kin to such sin" is very well placed. Your words are wise and very interesting, and I really loved the rhyme.

    This line stuck out to me (among others):

    "Kin to such sin
    We foolishly traded an eye for an eye and a life for a life"

    E-x-c-e-l-l-e-n-t to to the T...

    -Allura


  • Marzipan
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good, I'm loving it. Your words really empowered this poem, giving it a very real feeling and a sense of dismay.
    Good Luck in my contest =D
    ~Sylvia x


  • XxStopYourCryingxX
    September 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    I like this theme and the way you made into a poem. Hehe. Amazing.

    <3 doc Matt <3


  • eliza bug
    September 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Greed
    Possessions we held quickly paled, fading in luster
    Grasping for more though we always had plenty
    Indeed this greed was spawned by our envy
    A insatiable thirst for which we eternally suffer

    i agree sooooo much.

    .Eliza.Bug.

  • piccola silver member
    September 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It was hard to read with the white text.. I would like to read it without having to squint. The world is just as wicked today and I think we should hang people in a public square for drug dealing .. whack off both hands for stealing ..let them find thier ass and wipe it without a hand.. LOL


  • Sensual Sapphire
    September 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is very well written but I don't think it holds much in the way the world works today. It would be perfect for the world say in the 17th and 18th centuries. Times that were less complicated than they are now. I'd give some examples but I'm afraid it would spark a much heated debate! I'm not sure who the composer of the musical score is for your background but it reminds me Motzart. A man known for his debauchery. As I sadi very well done!


  • September 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love the way it flows all the way through. I really love this bit : Seven Sickly Sweet Sins
    A poor tradition of submission
    Passed down by ancestral kin
    A rich reason for rebellion
    Which served to arouse we the wolves of lush obsessions
    To rise to the occasion, committing such high treason,
    Amazing work and im off to read more

  • pochacco
    September 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, there are some good lines here. I think you have some good things to say about these themes. I especially like this:
    Kin to such Sin
    We extended our reach to claim the sun preventing the morning to come

    It reminded me tho of like how in satanism the 7 deadly sins are actually encouraged, and like how interesting that is. I'm not a satanist but I just think that there are different ways of living life, some more self-destructive than others.


  • CianLOVES
    September 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Holy shite

    Wow... me and my friends have called ourself the seven sins (as there are 7 of us duh) O.o Currently I am lust But yah back on subject, I really liked this, and it was very well written. I loved the way it was set out. I really liked the lines : So with nothing to lose
    And even less to gain
    God tied well the noose
    From which we now hang'
    and
    Such jealousy had easily overpowered
    And perverted our dreams

    Kin to such sin
    We foolishly traded an eye for an eye and a life for a life'
    Great write and continue the good work. ~Alatariel~

  • Brokenpen
    September 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    awesome write

    wow this was awesoome and laid out and penned wonderfully .. a great wite. thanks for sharing your words with me. i enjoyed this write veery much.


  • FlipFlop
    September 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I would of liked to read you poem but I am affraid with the background you have chosen it is much to hard to read, it is not a critism of your work but I do suggest you change it I am sure you will get a much more receptive audience, and if you do i will definately come back and comment.

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