She's struggling to cope, not wanting to eat.
She keeps on trying, she won't admit defeat.
Fingers down her throat, she's ghostly white.
Trembling body, she has lost the fight.
"Fat, fat, fat", she just wants to be thin,
Holding her stomach, the food won't stay in.
Fading eyes that are full of shame,
Now she realises that its not a game.
Her energy drained, her body starts to fail,
She still makes herself sick, her face is still pale.
Not getting any better she admits defeat,
But now, with help, she still cant eat.
Shes lying in a bed with tubes going in,
All this pain because the wants to be thin.
In a list
A contest entry
- Ana/Mia by Amy Long.
400 points, ended November 11, 2006, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You never seem to change... by MelissahhMidnite.
449 points, ended December 14, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Optionsss cos they is the best =] by Ilma.
875 points, ended January 11, 22 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Need Motivation... (overcoming an eating disorder) by HeartbreakHeroine-x.
950 points, ended May 20, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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"Fading eyes that are full of shame,
Now she realises that its not a game."
I absolutely loved those lines for some reason. They were just where the tone really started to change, where it suddenly hit the reader / the girl. Well done turning this realization into a pivotal moment in the piece as well.
This is a great piece; the tale is told well and descriptively. Liked the ending too:
"All this pain because the wants to be thin." -
I so much can relate to this poem. I feel you should have won a gold on this one. Great job.
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Very good, the flow and rhyme were great and I could really feel the desolation of the girl through your writing. Though in the last line, shouldn't 'the' be 'she'?
But yeah, apart from that, it's a great write, thank you for entering and good luck =]
Hannu xx -
A great poem. I liked the way it flowed and rhymed.
It highlighted the plight of someone suffering an eatin disorder well. A great poem.
Thanks for entering and good luck!!
Sunny
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this is a very powerful portrayal of a person suffering from an ED, very well written
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so powerful. She still makes herself sick, her face is still pale.
i love that line, it says so much. its sooo true. the pale face has given me away so many times. -
wow great piece! this was a short piece but it was a good write!
loved the rhyming and flow...
""Fat, fat, fat", she just wants to be thin,
Holding her stomach, the food won't stay in."
my favorite lines
you convey this subject well...
eating disorders just dont come and go as you wish, they haunt you forever, and do more damage then most girls realize, robert bolin is right...it is suicide, jsut a slow one...
thank you for taking the time to enter my contest and share your work with me,
take care and keep writing!
♥ Lynn
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A lot of emotion is in this piece and it's deep. Short but gets straight to the point. Thanks for entering and good luck.
x -
beautifully tragic, perfect portrayal
Absolutely fantastic piece, it truely is. You've captured the tragedy of this situation beautifully. Brilliantly done. -
Wow wow wow wow wow. I love that!! Love it, love it love it. Sorry, to much repetition. I love it though. It was so fitting, so perfect. It's exactly what I wanted. Exactly. You are obviously so talented. My favourite line(s) is/are 'She's lying in a bed with tubes going in,/All this pain because the wants to be thin.'. I thought that fitted perfectly with the subject matter and it was the perfect ending to a fantastic poem.
Sarah
PS: Did I say I loved it already? -
This is very real and filled with emotion. You have done an excellent job of getting your point across to your reader. This is an extremely touchy subject, but you have brought it out in the open and made it seen. Good for you!
Thank you very much for your entry, and good luck in the contest. Hugs, Patricia -
Touching piece! Its very sad though hope you can get
better sometimes things are hard thanks for ya entry.
Sherry~
Edited on Oct 24, 1:41 p.m. because ''. -
Congratulations on winning gold. Great poem.
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AWESOME!
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Nice job. I liked the rhyming. The flow was also good. I'm sure a lot of people (sorry...not me) can relate to this fight with themselves and food. Great job!
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This ia very descriptive of a sad disease. Over the course of life there have been some I have run across with one form of eating disorder or another. Your rhyming and flow went well with this piece and the background you chose keeps in with the theme. Thank you for sharing this and good luck in the contest.
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This was really well done. I've been slightly overweight my whole life and always dreamed of being thin. Now, I'm about average size. Life is still the same...great...so I say, who cares if you are fat? GOOD write!!!! Keep it up!
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Wow this poem was great its marry kates name written all over it - how true most girls these days think its best to starv to death rather than have a little waist...just look at colista flockhart i mean talk vagebones this girl aint nothing but dust and bones what sees in beyond skinny is an early grave for the home of satans slaves, cause its still suicide
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wow this is really good. one thing that struck me was on your note you said to not listen when others call you fat. I've dealt with anarexia and just recently that's turning into bulimia and it's not that you listen to others call you fat...it's the voice in your head when you look in the mirror. Other then that comment I really like the actual poem...good write
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Wow. That is so sad and powerful.. So many people go through that and you captured it perfectly.. I hope you did well in the contest. Keep writing and take care
- C xxxxxxxx
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wow..this is exactly how i am ~ this is a really good write. I am bulimic. i will eat VERY small amounts of food, and then throw it all up. I cant stand being fat. I just can't. its killing me. And i know how i got started. I hang out with a friend, she's one of my closest friends. and just a few months ago, i found out she was bulimic. she told me how it was done and how i could make myself skinny. I had always looked up to her because she was so skinny, she was only 14 and already a model, i mean, we were just sitting in the mall one time and a photographer asked her to model, i went with her and the photographer told me i was to fat. so i began becoming bulimic. well, just about 2 weeks ago...my friend died. She died because her body had no energy. and i can't stop. i can't eat. i want to. but i can't. and i can't help but throw up. its just a part of me ~ this is a great write. ~ and i entered you contest -- i hope i qualify --Stephani aka KiaRose
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Wow! oh my gosh! This was a wonderful write. And you are only 15 years old? same here.. but geeze you are a fantastic writer! this is soo true...sadly, but it. My friend is going through this... Now I think you said you did this..to your body? shoot hun, be careful, this is not safe! beauty is not being skinny, if you keep doing this to yourself, wow, its not something that you want. And it's not healthy! After several years of doing this to yourself, you will probally start looking like.. well not good.. I'll tell ya that much. hun.. you said "This is just to say, think before you do anything stupid..and dont listen if people call you fat! (ok..im going through this at the moment!)"
so it seems like you get that your not ugly or you realize its not right.. but i don't know if you realize how bad it it for you!! I hope you get through this.. this is NOT a good thing. believe me.. I know people that have gone through this, and it hasnt ever ended out good. try to get help before its too late!
I'm here if you EVER want to talk, even if you don't really no me. I'm still hear to listen
VERY personal and GREAT write -
this is an awesome write!! u are really talented in my opinion....keep up the awesome work babe!! much love -Jana-
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your poem is very sad. i have a friend that does that but she is not that bad right now or at least not yet. but she also cuts herself. she has also tried suicide but i am trying to cope with her and help her out of it and i think its working a little. but you are a very good writer. keep writing...
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awwww wow this took my breath away seriousally! its filled with such feeling and i'm sure that there are lots of people out there that can relate to that one in particular. well done hun
xxx -
This is amazing! I had a few friends that I watched go through the same thing in high school... It's a very touchy subject, I think that you have captured this side very well!!
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That was an amazing poem! You seemed to capture the problem so well, and it's made me go find some food in the house hehe! Very effective, keep it up!
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this is how i am i'm anorexic and thinking of bulimia so this pretty much described me great write keep it up
avec amour ~Krymsin Kyss~ -
Wow! This was a great write. And you are only 15 years old? You have a wisdom that comes from years way ahead of your age. You stated that you are going through the same thing. You are doing this to your body? Please get help before it's too late. I lost a very close friend to this disorder. I watched her for years, begging her to stop and get help. She always thought she was fat. She was so beautiful at one time. After several years of doing this to herself she slowly started looking like a walking skeleton. She was in and out of hospitals until finally she lost her fight with it. I do have to say that in the beginning I also was doing it. I thought it was neat how fast I lost weight. I didn't do it for very long when I started having Acid Reflux trouble and then an ulcer. And I stopped. I would rather be big than dead. Today I am a healthy woman. At age 34 I am slightly over weight but healthy! This is a great poem about a sad subject. But I liked it, a lot! Keep up the great writing! And like you said, "Never let anyone tell you that you are fat or ugly? They are just jealous and are trying to belittle you!
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this was very good... I work with troubled teens and some have eating disorders..it is sad that kids have to resort to such measures to try to be accepted in this world what happened to being accepted for who you are? great write ~iccara~
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loves it!!!!
WOW! it's really sad, but i love it!!! great write, nice rhyming(so can't say that about my writings). -
wonderful
this is how it really. I love ur poem. -
Excellent
Hi. Glad you asked me to read. It is an excellent job on a current topic. You portray the image of the person well. Believeable, well-written and well conceived.
Andy -
I really really like this! People thought I had an eating disorder but I became thin from being ill. Anyway, you really put yourself in their shoes, at least that's what it seems like to me and you write it so brilliantly.
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Stellar
This is very, VERY well done. Eating disorders are becoming a big problem. I am staffing a camp in 4 days (it lasts a week), and it is very important to me, for it deals with many teen issues, such as eating disorders, suicide, depression, and many other things. This poem was a beautiful write about a terrible thing. I was wondering if you would mind if I printed this out and used it for the camp. I would definately give you credit. Rocking poem! -
This is a really well written piece. I can see you put alot of effort into this one it is really good I like it alot. Though I have never had this form of an eating disorder, I feel the pain. I am an over eater lol. I really do Like this as I do most all of your poetry you have a great talent. best wishes to you.
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hey this was a very good poem. i can tell you put alot of emotion into it. i know that there are alot of ppl that can relate to it. keep up the good work
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This is such a true and honest write, so many people have eating disorders and it's sad. I don't think that other people really notice the cruel words that they say can really hurt a person and make them do things they never thought that they would. Your words throughout this write were used to well, and the flow was perfect. The intensity of this poem and the emotion and imagery was an amazing add and really made this write. I hope to read more from you soon, and hope you do well in the contest. Keep writing, -Heather
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wow, its really good. its scary, but that adds alot to the poem. I can relate alot to this poem, the only thing in your life u feel you can controll is your eating. It had perfect wording and a good flow to it. I loved the length of this poem.amazing work
-sarah -
This is very true, i have a friend with an eating disorder, it pains me to see her struggle to eat when she is infront of people because i know what will happen after , i know its her way of coping , she feels its at least one thing in her crappy life that she can control, always know that what ever people say the only thing that matters is being happy, hope that the people that are giving you a hard time stop but you seem like a strong person! Great write , you really give a clear imagine of the emotion and the reader can really feel it , well done
Best wishes jordan x -
Errors? I see no errors... hmm...
ANyways, wodnderful poem! Alot of people go through this, and you captured the emotion very well... great work!
Love,
Katy
~*LiquidLullaby*~ -
I really like this a lot! This is a wonderful piece. Even with a lot of errors, it is still a very good poem.
-Nicolette...Keep writing! -
this is a wonderful write and thats exactly how it is i know..
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They say I have an eating disorder but not the one where you throw up. I dont think I have one, but who cares? I liked your poem, and dont let that happen to you. Keep on writing.
Blessed be,
Lefay -
...I do this...I always want to be thinner even though I am apparently really thin
....this was really touching ..it quite scary though...
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Oh how I can relate to this poem, I've been there myself and don't intend to go back there ever again, but it is a constant struggle and always will be, if you ever need to chat about anything just send me a message, despite this being about an agonising subject for me, this poem is brilliant, keep it up, love Romanee, xx
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This is really good!!! i think stuff like this all the time because i think i'm fat but my friends tell me i'm not!!!! your a good writer!!! and i hope you win!!! well c-ya bye
****Kiara****
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