I recognized the light
from the plane's window
Flying to say "Goodbye mother..."
with flowers in a cracked pot
Warm geraniums and gardenia
over lit San Francisco
I wonder if she knows
my plight for water
A son must place rocks on end
Carve words out of love and numbers
to gods and heroes
Seasons, like underwater symbols
flash in their secret places
with shadow, and stretched reason
The year continues;
As does this penninsula of silence,
and these written bursts
of us late bloomers
in restless descent.
Flying to say "Goodbye mother..."
I still never do.
Author notes
Written June 17th, 2005
In a list
- Contest Winners • next in list
- A Softer Horus8 • next in list
- Mother Murder • next in list
- Hall of Fame-Trophy Winners of My Contests • next in list
- Brave Souls--Entries In Contests I Have Held • next in list
A contest entry
- Spring Time Fun by ImJustALostMemory.
500 points, ended April 24, 2006, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Sad and beautiful. Straight from the heart and masterfully done. This one touched me deeply. Thanks. Nothing more to say. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it with an intense imagery. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Hetohke'e 
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I must admit the first few times I read this I didn't understand it at all. Like I don't know why but I then read all od your comments and then went back and read it over. I then understood. This piece of writing makes me think of a rainy day in the middle of nowhere. I don't know why but that's what I think of. This was a sad yet amazing piece. Thank you so much for entering and good luck.
<3
JiGgLeZ -
I applaud you sir, a well earned trophy
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Gold? Duh.
Congrats. I can tell you felt that before you wrote it. No shame in losing to this one. -
This poem definately provokes multiple readings. My first read through, I got a bit lost in the words while smelling the gardenia and geranium. The underwater symbols snagged my attention and let me know I had missed something, but wouldn't let my wandering mind go until I reached the end.
I was prompted to read the piece through several times. It rings deep and heartfelt and it definately has the WOW factor. As a reader, I can feel like I know the authors motivations and emotions. Of course, that is only assumption on any readers part. At the same time, I can read it without regard to the author and derive my own picture. That is always a nice happening. When a poem can be experienced interactively by the reader without being told what to think by the author.
Thanks for enterring it here. I am glad I got a chance to read it.
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jeremi-
i don't have words- this has reduced me to tears for the loss of my mother- for your losses- for both of us-
i don't have words.
m -
liked every word line just everything about it,this poem is wow awesome .
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This is so beautiful, I can feel all the pain and sorrow in this piece. It is very well written usually I dont like poems that dont rhyme too much but this was just amazong!
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I did not get the analogy about underwater sybols but really enjoyed this anyway. It flows well and is very sweet and sad too.
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What a lovely thing to say, thank you.
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At the risk of being too forward or being infatuated with you,
I'm going to tell you how much I enjoyed this. Your mind works in such a varying wealth of word structure that I sometimes can't believe we penned by anyone of this era.
Peace and Love and Joy
~~~POO~~~ -
This feels almost classical. It is too polished and professional for me to offer intelligent comment.
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this is really beautiful! well done!
X~Zo~X -
I clicked on this in the featured box, because I love your work, then I realized I had already read it...but, it was a pleasure to read again...Peace, Kelly
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very well written, soothing. a mature poem indeed.
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This was awesome! Well done in the way you have written such a deep poem. For me, it wasn't the easiest to understand.... but this just means that it was even better because I'm dumb! This poem flowed well and the meaning behind it was hidden through your words! A beautiful write! x
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This is one of my most favorite pieces, right there next to the other one I always so loved 'Temporal'. I think it is, that both share that same feel of 'wistful longing'. And it is this, that is so drawing to them. It is, I believe, out of all human emotions, the hardest one to handle.
Other emotions like love or hate or anger, they are full of defined lines and sharp egdes that you can rub against, and feel that they are there. But wistful longing... it is misty and undefined. You can never quite get your arms around it... and everytime you think you've shook it loose... dissappated the choking mist... it drifts back quiet and slow, to saturate your lungs once more... And so I know too well.
Edited on Jun 25, 2:39 because 'To tired to think straight'. -
this is really good
.. I like it a lot. You did an amazing job.
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Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. So beautifully written in metaphor and symbol, but it is still clear and heartbreaking. I am sorry for your loss. It does seem odd that the world can go on without those we love in it.
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Jeremi
this is you- this is your voice, cleaned up- sounding like a man who has grown into and honed his innate talent- into a masterful voice. This is the best of the best.
This piece could be dropped into any collection of poetry and hold it's own. I would submit this to a journal-
Mary -
there is no doubt that this is a very beautiful amd warm write from the heart I do not want to be a stickler and minimise the beauty of this....but I read it a few times ( loved it more each time ) yet somehow I could not find anything about the Summer Solstice. But please do not be disgruntled yet...i do believe I have a surprise in store when I judge Thank you so much for entering,
Reenie
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puzzling and beautiful
this is beautiful and an awesome write! i love this. much luv!!! -
This is excellence! Beautiful imagery,,, and each time I read it I gather a little more...Bravo...Kelly
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well done
Interesting piece. I'm not really that familiar with flowers and you did a fine job of encompassing them into this piece. I was expected more of a broken love story, but this was a nice surprise. Keep up the good work. -
Two levels to my liking this. One: it is excellent. The voice is clear and your words are economized just enough. Two: I am fascinated by some odd little "connections" it made for me.
Have a dose of clap.
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