I lay before You,
Five precious gifts,
Sparkling in their wrappings,
They are each for You,
To decorate Your life,
And to begin my journey.
Unwrapping the first,
I smile at You,
This is my body, Master,
Given to You for your pleasure.
The grey parchment of the second,
Intricate designs surround it,
Open this, Master,
You find my mind,
I open it to You and all the thoughts within.
Thirdly,
A purple velvet box,
Contains my heart,
It beats soley for You, Master,
My passions and desires are now Yours.
The next package before You,
Has no definite shape,
Master, this is my soul,
You hold the complete me,
Shape and mold me well.
The last gift,
I wait anxiously for You to open,
The paper falls away,
This Master, is my surrender,
I submit all of me, to You.
Now You have me,
I have gifted all I have,
Treasures once mine,
Are now in Your possession,
Trusting You will care for them,
Knowing they will be safe.
Author notes
Written June 17th, 2005
In a list
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Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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beautifull
a beautifull read, the chosen words so wonderfully woven to make upthis lovely write dedicated to the most special person in your life, an exelent piece my friend thank you for sharing it with us and keep up the good work
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this is a write that touches the submissive in me greatly... thank You for that...peace..shzoosy
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This so captured the essence of submission!!! i truly loved this, and it is exactly how i felt when i offered myself to my Master's protection! Congratulations on such an excellent piece!
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Fabulous Write!!
This is a beautiful poem... one which speaks to me of love, trust, and of submission to your Master knowing He will never misuse it or treat you wrong. What a powerful and loving gift to Him you have penned here Luna. Very enticing and inspirational. I like how you expressed your feelings without any shame... I really love to see this in a writing... Good for you and all of us who reads you. I will add you to my favorites for I want to read more of you. Thank you for the magnificent gift of your loving pen my friend.
~Elba
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A supurb read...you paint a picture with our words.and a feeling of love ..I love the line " I have gifted all I have" awsome thanks for the read...Jack
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Very cleverly done..
I enjoyed this piece immensly.. it has special thoughts for myself, which I can relate to..
well done and a beautiful gift to offer.. I am sure it went down well
~GILL~xxx -
Love this piece of work,it is simple,flows well and all the usual things that one says,but,its totally different and I like that a lot. Well done my friend
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I found this poingnant through its simple presentation. Very straight forward but intensely focused and of service to your purpose and intent. An excellent read.
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stunning
Wow this is amazing what a really beautiful write. your full submission to your Master lovingly presented.... i truly beleive there is NO greater girft then giving your all to your "One" please dont ever stop writing this is stunning xx Cheryl -
despite the image given, in a way i feel as if this is like almost a prayer in my opinion even though this is to someone you obviviously love
keep it up
Rae -
wonderful
luna.. wow this was exceptionally cleverly write. It followed the story through to its conclusson, it was written in its own enique style and it was a very pleasing and thought provoking poem to read wonderful -
Wow... I really love this poem. I'm not sure the perspective you wrote it in, but the only application I can see is to God. I believe that those that truly follow Him will want to give all of themselves, beatifully illustrated in these five gifts, to Him.
Wonderful write... I shall have to check out more. -
I really liked this, it was imanginative and very creative. with great descriptions and the vivid imagery was so wonderful. You have written this beautifully, with such class and such poise. I thought this had so much talent written all through it. thank you for sharing it. I really enjoyed it.
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Such a good write, so trusting and willing, submissive,, and loving. Definetly a good poem, I doubt I could ever give myself up in such a way... this is truely well written. Goodjob
-Ash : :
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This really works for me. I like your simple, straight-forward language, which reflects the truth a lover feels about his/her experience. Excellent!
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yes, this is fantastic! wonderfully romantic and interesting in its submissive complexity.
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I had to come back once again to read such love and trustthat you have displayed this is trully the best submissive write i have ever come across well done sweety
love and light
Blaze
Edited on Oct 21, 11:45 p.m. because ''. -
very good
I believe I read on your page that you are submissive. This poem definitely suggests that. I believe that people should find importance in themselves. That probably does not relate here.
This poem seems like it would make a good card to give to your master as you present yourself.
Except for the master part, I really like this poem.
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You asked for a critical comment on your writes but I have to tell you that there is not one thing I would change in this one...You set up the scene well...The reader can feel the emotion and see the scene unfold...The subject is perfect and the delivery is perfect...I have to say this is one of the best pieces I have read in quite some time.
Tory Lin -
unbelieveable as a Dom this is the unvieling of unconditional trust, faith and love given freely you penned this well I am bokmarking it There is someone that needs to read this
thank you
love and light
blaze -
Thank you. I had hoped that the emotion conveyed was like that. Thanks for reading my poem.
--luna -
This is a very good poem. You captured what someone is willing to give to another if true love exists. Great job
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