I lead a sordid double life
between a wise man and a fool.
One minute, I'm a total schmuck
and the next, I'm super-cool.
I'm a Pacifistic, peace-loving type
filled with love for my fellow man
but only after losing my temper
and kicking some bozo up the can.
I'm a vegetarian at least once a day.
I swear to never eat red meat again
but only after scarfing a juicy steak
and the guilt and remorse has set in.
I take excellent care of my health
and exercise like a man possessed
but only after noticing my skinny legs,
expanding belly and shrunken chest.
I'm the very best driver on the road.
I obey every traffic rule and sign
but only when I see a police officer
suspiciously trailing me close behind.
One minute, I'm as benevolent as a monk,
spreading joy and harmony along my path,
then my evil twin rears his ugly head
and no living thing escapes his wrath.
I keep meaning to turn over a new leaf
but that damn leaf seems to weigh a ton!
I'd like to be a wise man all the time
but being a lunatic is much more fun.
Oh, and if anyone ever accuses me
of being some shallow, two-faced guy,
I can just smile and innocently say,
"What do you expect? I'm a Gemini!"
Author notes
Written June 14th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Poems In The Style Of Shel Silverstein- 9 Entries Only. by Crystal Chanda Lear.
600 points, ended August 22, 2007, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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lol
oh thats funny, great write. i think theres a lil bit of laughter in each line and when writing a funny poem that really important.
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nicely done! definitely
captured Shel Silverstein!
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A really hilarious poem that was a joy to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering this wonderfully funny piece.
David
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Thanks, Michael. Glad you enjoyed it.
Mark
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Hmmmmm, funny, I think I read somewhere that even the stars are on your side, lol. Where was that? Maybe on the author's page. Great sensiblilities you have and a great sense of humor. Enjoyable poem.
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Oh yes I must be dating your twin! just kidding he is a gemini also and he has all your characteristics of this poem this was great and a firm reminder of what I have gotten myself into. lol Loved it keep it up! ~val~
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I am a gemini as well. And though I amnot a man. It is nice to see that not only do women have these problems, but men do as well. thank you for entering.
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lol. you have so much (strange, odd and quite weird) talent, it's still talent though! luck
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Oh, this is just hilarious. And you have described every Gemini I have been acquainted with to a "T". Very descriptive and accurate. And, well written, I might add.
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Bravo I like the way you have played with the doubles here as one strives to make up for the failings of the other. Some of the verses work really well and are very accurate after all what prompts a lot of people to go to the gym? and as to the couplet:
I'd like to be a wise man all the time
but being a lunatic is much more fun
Oh how true that is. -
Can shallow and poet go hand in hand? hmmm..
Such a fun write.
m -
This really made me laugh. Thank you for that Mark. My ex-bf was a Gemini and yes, they are indeed hard to get along with. But some are really cool just like you. Great rhyme and great flow. Cheers! Eris
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Hi Mari,
I'm always glad to hear about a good Gemini. There's hope for me yet! lol I'm not surprised your father is a wonderful man. He created a masterpiece in you.
Mark
P.S. Thanks for the reminder about the vitamins. I'm gettin' up there! lol -
Thanks, Miji. You have a good point. If I'm honest about being two-faced, am I truly two-faced? lol I'm very passive until provoked too, so Gemini's and Aries' must have a lot in common.
Mark -
I just love the humour you put on your writes
Many people say that geminis aren't so easy to live with. My father was born under this very same sign, and I can't imagine a person better to live with than with him.
But still good to have a good excuse to the possible flaws
Thanks for thegood laugh Mark!
Hope all is well with you, and don't forgot to take some extra vitamines now that your oldER lol
Kisses,
Mari
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What a wonderful rhyming scheme you have... I especially like the lines,
"I keep meaning to turn over a new leaf
but that damn leaf seems to weigh a ton!"
That's very true, making a life change is very drastic and hard to do. (: I especially like the second stanza... preaching world peace and all that ilk, but having a hot temper. And all these morals and beliefs, turned by a behavior... and that sometimes you only want to do them if retribution pokes his ugly head out (following laws of the road when authority figure is by)... though, you know what, I don't think your two-faced. I'm an Aries, and the only thing I have from that is my hot temper that comes out when provoked a great deal... otherwise, I'm a very passive, mellow person. I'm sorry if I perverted the meaning of your poem or if you only meant for it to be light-hearted, poking fun at your flaws, blaming it on your star sign. I'm just too... serious, is the best word I can think of right now. =P Great write, for I found it facetious and cute. Nice fluidness, too.
-Miji -
Thanks for the heads up on the typo! Glad you liked this one.
Mark -
Okay this was an interesting piece. I liked it but I did find a typo in the second to last line. I think this is yet another one of your brilliant works. Comical and amusing. Keep writing.
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I completely don't think I fit my sign.. Virgo.. well that is til I talk to Joshua and then I realise yea I do..
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haha!
this is great. great rhyme, great flow, everything really.
I enjoyed this humorous read.
with best wishes,
~Lea -
hehe, well done Mark Great write. Blaming your two faced...ness... on your starsign.. Im aquarius.. wonder what I could blame that on. *ponders* xxxx
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How fun you two sided one! To be and yet to not be! To be confused and in all honesty...to write with humor and oh so friendly. A pleasure!
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MARVELLOUS!!!!!!!
i can absolutely relate to this poem!!!! it looks as if I am describing myself.....yeah,i'm a gemini too n JUST the same
it's a hilarious poem,really creative n innovative!!! but then,we GEMS have a fabulous sense of humor n an amazing creativity
despite all our negative attributes,you gotta agree that we are versatile,aren't we?
n about the astrological thing, people who are born in the second and thrid week of june are double geminis.....they have ALL the GEM traits
but i don't think i really agree with the compatibility thing....like they say geminis should avoid taurus and aries......my best friend is taurus n we've never fought during our entire 4 years of friendship! (touchwood!)n as for aries,2 other very close friends n yeah,both my parents! the situation isn't that bad with the latter
it's also said that geminis need to avoid scorpions.....in my case,again a contradiction:90% of my gang of friends are scorpions!
n geminis get well along with libra,sagittarius,pisces n aquarious.
anyway,really well done!!! ADORED this piece of yours ,especially the last line:
What do you expect?I'm a Gemini!
happy writing
Edited on Jun 15, 7:20 because ''. -
hilarious!
This is hilarious Mark! Wildly creative! OH. Oh. You'll never guess which one I am? HA, now it all makes sense! hahaha........great pic too! Smooth sailing from begining to end.
~Michelle~
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X-files for sure. She dated three of them. The fourth, she got scared and ran. She x-ed the fourth one, said she was nipping it in the bud. However, one is back now. Unfinished business, apparently. He's the one who reminds me of you. Astrological signs fascinate me. I fall for the mysteries of Pisces men and women. There are many who are close to me. Gemini, too. I've been told Gemini is my rising sign--maybe that accounts for the red balloons lately. Pop pop pop! Oh! a belated Happy Birthday Mark!
Edited on Jun 15, 4:34 because ''. -
my granddaughter,a gemini,turned 19 monday.she does not know whether she is going or coming.pleasant and funny one minute,angry and raising hell the next.has a great sense of humor though.my daughter has dated three men born on aug.29 over a ten year period and her new beau's birthday is aug.28.she's an aries and i don't think she is compatible with virgos,but she sure seem to love.great write mark.you know how to make me smile.
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BTW, are Gemini all that what's mentioned in the picture??? Just curious!
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Hi Mark,
Dont know much about the characteristics of a Gemini, but from your write I can make out that fun, peace-loving guy, enjoying the simple things in life. I may be wrong, but that's what I can see here. I am amazed by this new write, the way the first line of every verse starts and then the way it ends lol!!! It's been fun, it's been a joy to read this. It's worthy of Gold anytime!!!
Lencio
Edited on Jun 15, 2:15 because ''. -
kl,
The last four men your daughter dated were all born on May 22nd?? That is the weirdest thing I ever heard. You better open an X-File and start investigating. Freaky. lol I was born on June 11th, by the way.
Thanks,
Mark -
I was looking at a site that had compatible signs on it today. I can't recall all of them but a few were Libra and Sagittarius. Apparently, I need to avoid Taurus's, though. Big time conflict.
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You aren't born on the 22nd by any chance? You resemble someone else I know (born under Gemini), but the weird thing is--the last four men one of my daughters has met were born under Gemini on May 22nd! Bizarre. I love your poem, and you don't lie, you've got a natural alibi...your paths are dual, you travel both, it's the only way for Gemini!
Edited on Jun 14, 8:14 p.m. because 'spelling'. -
what a climax!!!
hey mee first here to comment !!!!!!!
I likes this line...."but being a goofball is much more fun".......oh relates to me lilbit
.....dont know much about geminis...yeah heard they are of different personalitites!!!!.....hey havent mentioned ......which other sunsign they get along with
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