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Tidal

Night falls
on our paradise
you glisten in the moonlight
like water on a mirror's surface

I roll through your fingertips
like grains of sand
falling around your body
while being consumed by your ocean

A sun will rise
but for now we are at worship
of the stars
and each other

Author notes

I literally wrote this in under a minute.  The idea of sand rolling just caught me.  I guess I'm combining nature and sensuality- as it should be in my opinion.
Written June 12th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • silversoliloquysong
    January 19, 2006
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    wow, incredibly spellbinding poem, your imagery is fresh and commanding. i love it!


  • silver bugs
    January 5, 2006
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    Beautiful, romantic, sensual and peaceful. Everything a love poem should be, I think. It's like you took a second in time and created this memory, this moment to hold on to. I love it. Thanks for sharing and entering. Sorry for taking so long to judge my contest, my internet has been giving me some problems. Good luck
    ♥
    ~Lana


  • Arthuris
    December 5, 2005
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    Quality

    This one pulls me in deep. I almost got dizzy reading it. The rolling and falling got me.
    On style: you describe the world or the percieved circumstance with belonging to the narrator. Curioser and curioser.
    Also the characterization of loving moments as religous experience just grabs me. Worship is powerful, both as a word and as action.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    June 13, 2005
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    You know, I just had to come back and read this again. It really is a truly marvelous piece. It lingered in my mind all day. Truly outstanding!

  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    June 12, 2005
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    I love it! I simply love it. The whole image, the metaphor, the intwining of nature and such sensuality as well. I've never seen a piece capture both so well, in such few lines. Incredible job on this, just incredile! Blessings, Gypsy


  • Ceilinh
    June 12, 2005
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    Sometimes poems don't need to take more than a minute- I'd say that this write proves that! Gorgeously done!

    -Ceilinh

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    June 12, 2005
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    This is sensual and sweet and yet at the same time, so full of natures own beauty. Your imagery really creates the piece, wonderful write.


  • lavender shadows
    June 12, 2005
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    Great poem! I can tell that you were inspired, it whispers from your poetry. This poem is simple, yet really beautiful. I absolutely adore the lines "falling around your body while being consumed by your ocean". I'm not quite sure why that strikes me so powerfully, but for some reason it did!

    Good poem! Good luck in the contest!

1 - 8 of 8