Silver scars across the stars,
People driving in their cars,
Lost dreams that drift alone,
The dog who wished he had a bone.
These things bring thoughts,
Though some are for naught,
What we see with our eyes,
Is only an elaborate disguise.
If the world were a truthful place,
Where would be the human race?
Our lives are founded in these lies,
Which we hide from our own eyes.
Look beyond the tattered veil,
See the world we turned to hell,
See the world that we have made,
What was given to make the trade?
We gave away natures bliss,
To gain the sound of machinery's hiss,
We gave up a life of peace,
To live now with unnatural ease.
See the world through natures eyes,
See how we destroyed our lives,
You'll see the way to the future,
Is going back to being with nature.
Author notes
Written June 12th, 2005
A contest entry
- CALLING ALL HISTORY-GEEKS! (lots of options!) by vampire of thought.
550 points, ended February 17, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Me, Hate Me, Love Nature, Love yourself. by sluha.
530 points, ended April 20, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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well... before I say anything else... Reality is what you want it to be. If you choose to be ignorant about what is really going on then your reality will be much better... going against society is well, not very good way... and you can't really go against it... rebelling is going with it... anyways... I must say my favorit line was "WE gave away natures bliss, To gain the sound of machinery's hiss" I just think this line is very true and I oppose it at times, yet I will completely agree it is true... this is a very well writen piece, well... im going to be honest, except for the second stanza... if you have something going through out the piece you have to continue it... not kinda pause and then carry it on... honestly... that just shows a lack of discipline... so i would suggest going back and making it there... but anyways besides the fact that I really like this piece... I must say it doesn't really fit the contest, but oh well... at least you managed to read and enter something... thank you...
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hmmm...
Its a very well written poem, not exactly what I was looking for, but still, a beautiful piece.
Note: In the fourth stanza, the first set of ryhme, veil and hell...Sorry to say this, cuz it is a beautiful and powerful spot, but they don't rhyme.
still, a beautiful piece, and thanks for entering! Good luck!
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thanks for the comment and opinions vamp... I know the 4th stanzas first 2 dont really rhyme but I felt they fit really well... and since the phonetics werent really all too far off I figured I could deal with a minor discrepancy to better the poem.
Also I wasnt entirely sure if this would fit your contest or not as it deals more with the entire history of mankind rather than a set period. Still I thought i would give it a shot... Thanks for commenting even though it wasnt what you were lookin for.
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I think this is marvelous and insightful; though sadly I don't believe that society will ever embrace a choice to return to a far more labor intensive existance....but I do believe that we can find ways through technology itself to make the impact of technological advancement less harmful to our environment....Nasa currently is testing several designs for a perpetual motion machine. There are super clean energy sources beyond the standard, water, wind, solar options. Like magnetic fields for one example. But what Is most signifigant for me in the poem I submitted to your contest is the potential we hold within the human being, Creation abilities AND an Elemental connection between all of us, and the true ability to bring about miraculous effects with focused acts of will....exercising the divine within.
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this is a good poem i like the ryming
good luck in my contest -
Excellent
WOW!!! This is so beautiful and deep-- and so true! I love the message and the thoughts behind this write. You make such a good point about how we have destroyed our world just so we could build machines and gain material wealth...Great write!
Also, I like your rhyme scheme=) -
Great question to ask and I love your answer.
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