Why is it that when I'm with you
Your very touch can set me shaking
Even if its accidental
Why can I not control my voice
And keep it from breaking or fading
When we talk to each other?
I hate the way I am around you
I'm so weak and vulnerable
I just want to see your smile
To know you approve of me
And appreciate my efforts
But part of the reason I love you
(or is it just obsession?)
Is because it seems you could care less
I'm second best
Not number one
Not your main focus
The reason you live your life
I have to live up to ~your~ standards
No one else has made me do that
And I want to change to who you want
But at the same time, I don't!
I question myself over and over
What would make you love me?
Why do I care so much what you think,
Or if I'm just a fling?
Somehow you know right where to hurt me
The exact angle at which to stake my heart
Just to show I have one; it belongs to you!
You know everything, even if you don't realize it
And of you I feel I know nothing
Mystery... abuse... all of that
You twist my thoughts to form a noose
With which you slowly hang me to die
Your face is beautiful to me
And every time the phone rings, I pray
I pray to God its you
Calling to tell me
That you love me
When you do call
I love how you say
"I just called to say hi"
Even if you do call at 9:48 at night
When I'm watching my favourite movie
At your ex-girlfriend's house
Everything can wait
No, anything can go to hell
If it meant you would love me
In your wicked, twisted way
To give and then to take
Make me feel unworthy
For it is only then that you truly have me
Steal my tricks, you know my trade
Heartbreaker...
Mystery...
Heart of ice...
Give me a taste of my own poison
And then you have my very soul.
Author notes
This is kind of deep, like a diary entry to me. I'm trying to figure out why I love someone, when a lot of people I know say that he doesnt give a fuck about me, and is just with me because I'm there...... even if he does say he likes me.
I love and hate the way he torments me. And its because its always been me doing that. and now I know how it feels................. beautifully fucked-up. 
Written June 12th, 2005
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Comments
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this is amazing
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amazing poem. I so agree with the above comments though. Don't you take no crap from no-one! I don't know you, and I don't know this guy, but I do know that you deserve better. I've read all you work and it's great. and so are you. rock on.
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no comment. Only that you should not feel this way, and you should have backed out of it like I've told you before...you will be hurt, just like every other time.
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Loved it
Its very good but you shouldn't take that. I mean gurl my boyfriend treats me too well and I feel bad for going away for the summer and everytime I call he's like when are you coming home and I'm like I feel bad enough already please don't say that
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