Black licorice eyes
Cherry lips.
Bubble gum heart,
to chew up
and spit out.
Candy coated razor blades...
Can't you just taste the pain?
Author notes
Written June 12th, 2005
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry by Daeron-Obsidian.
300 points, ended January 12, 2006, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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WHOA!!
I didn't really like the length, because I usually go for longer poems..BUT..I loved it!!! The last line gave me shivers! VERY well done!
Keep up the great work!
*Kisses*
The Dark Raven
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thought provoking
what a great metaphor.... bubble gum in comparison to the heart, one ive never heard before. i love it. i love the idea of candy coated razor blades as well. what a shocking yet soulful poem. great write
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Good job! I see that you got the message across in soo little words, very few poets can accomplish that, so very well done and good luck in the contest!
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Two thumbs up
Wow. I was completely amazed when I read this. Well written, and good comparisons. -
Nice how ya compared a razor's blade to a candy coat, but it's actually somewhat true. It leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction and somewhat joyful that you have a mini river of your own that others would just gap over in disbelief if ever they found out. well again, good job
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awesome
This is a very ineresting unique poem that has alot of meaning in alot of different ways something that alot of people would have never thought of.
love
angela -
interesting poem. I like the way you compared candy to different parts of the body
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