Rent-a-friend “we’re there for you”
Come in, sit down.
Hang up your coat,
Let me take your hat
Comfortable? Let me add a pillow
The drinks are already on their way
Our corporation cares
I hear you’re feeling down,
And rightly so
Those friends you had before,
Just let them go
Right now we’re offering a
Once-in-a-lifetime deal!
/"Trade in your traitors
And highball with the stars!"/
Yes, for only a trade-in, you
Can do to them, what they have done to you
And at no cost at all!
Our rent-a-friends come with a warranty
Including a 40 day money back guaranty!
Yes, this can all be yours. . . with no catch!
Our rent-a-friends will stand by you
Hang out with you and make you the
Life of the party
Or throw you a party!
Rent-a-friend Corp is cutting-edge
We scan our employees
based on loyalty, brown nosing,
Yuppies, “yes men” and of course,
The know-it-all is in your corner
The know-it-all friend that won’t upstage you
In fact, they’ll argue for you-
because they know you’re right!
Yes, this can all be yours…with no catch
Rent-a-friend corp, "because your real friends are idiots"
call today and trade in your traitors
Author notes
this is a satiric look at the downs of friendship 
so why not sell you suck ups? isn't that an odd thing to sell?
Written June 9th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Mission Bologna (contest] by EatYourSunlight.
300 points, ended January 16, 2006, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Haha, this is very queer, hmm i might not mind having a friend like that sometimes! Thanks for entering my contest
Good Day, a stor
♥ -
Haha, this is very queer, hmm i might not mind having a friend like that sometimes! Thanks for entering my contest
Good Day, a stor
&heart; -
such irony
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love the corporate stab you're taking here. wonderful sarcasm
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haha!!! this was sooo funny!! very emotional triggering to be honest, i smiled, laughed, and thought "wow, I could use this" lol i think this is VERY creative!! good luck and thanks for entering!! xXxXx <3 *Jordan**
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:) Great
Where do I sign!? Jk, Jk, I loveee my friends. This is a great poem, and seems like something you might write during one of those temper things..not temper tantrum...thats no 'poet-t'
enough! ANyways, great job, and this is a really really creative idea! Props for not repeating the same word over and over and over! Geez, so many people do that when writing a sarcastic poem.
best wishes
~liz~
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i like the sarcasm here, and the idea of the "best friends money can buy"
in fact, I have a few know-it -alls I will trade in at a discount! make an offer
but seriously, i have found the truth of a bible proverb that says "a person who will lie in your favor will just as easily lie against you".
Edited on Jun 19, 8:58 p.m. because ''. -
That is a good way to look on the traitorous friend thing. I for one couldn't really think of a good way to look on that in a funny way very well. The sad thing about you funny "rent a friend" thing is that in a few years... that company will most likely exsist. I like the details you added in about the garente and how your old friends suck... it made the poem seems more really, and more funny. I also like the plugs for how the ren-a-friends know your right...
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hehe... i like the extra finishing touches! lol.
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ah thanks, I was in the middle of giving the end a closing statement, I've added lines while you were commenting lol.
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I did some adding - tweeked the end
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i like the way you put it "rent-a-friend" lol. that was kinda cute.
nice poem about phoniness.
good luck in the contest. -
Oh how I wish this could be....to know going in that the friends are really foes in disguise...that would be priceless. So many claim to be all that anyone could ever dream of only to leave you drowning in their lies.
I love this....
Deena
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Actually i really like the out of the box approach in it.
Good luck
Pisces. -
Hi, now this would be great if we could do it, a great idea, good in exchange for bad, a fun write and out of the ordinary, loved it a novel idea, all the best in the comp ,this should do well, Di
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