Death's Perfection
By: Dave Medbery
It's Perfection,
Oh the joy of perfection,
That spiritual connection,
of the soul's resurrection,
Its Seduction,
Pure sweet seduction
Body's introduction
to complete destruction,
It's Insanity,
Fail sweet sanity,
lives's shewn in vanity,
thus the end to humanity,
Its Suicide
Unbridled suicide,
Only to Abide,
And cast your life aside...
Its death
Savor precious death,
Fulfill that final breath,
as you sink into the everlasting...
Author notes
Almost wrote this as a monolog 
I hope you like it 
Written June 9th, 2005
A contest entry
- Two Gold Trophies or Less ~ Dark Poets. by antique.
300 points, ended June 10, 2005, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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You....wanna tell me WHY you didn't like the ending? I dont mind the crit but I want you to tell me what you do or dont like and why please
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its a good poem, well written, at first the ending didnt catch my attention, but not that i read the poem over again it all comes together, so im sorry...good job
Edited on Jun 10, 7:32 p.m. because 'reply'. -
Just a quick comment to let you know I've read your entry ... I'm judging now, so the results should be through in a couple of hours .. thankyou so much for entering and I wish you the best of luck in the contest .. keep the ink flowing
~Aimee
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very rymiful
I love the fact that you cut off the end, its like some sort of cliff hanger. I expecily love the title.... good work
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I was first attracted to your poem by the titla "deaths perfection", as i have felt the coldness of death before.It was strong and simple, very well done.
I've also added some of my poetey to this site, please read it and tell me wat u think
-foreverjustended -
i really enjoyed reading this poem
i especially liked the last line where we all know what the rhyme should be but its just not their
good poem, well done!!! -
Good
This poem is so attractive because of the well put rhyme, rhythm, and of course repetition. -
Damn good...
I was allured to this time by the title ("Death's Perfection": reminded of a book I once read, "Soldier's Home"...in fact, "The Soldier IS Home" or "The Home of the Soldier"; quite contrasting the story if taken from one perspective than the other, but compelling either way).
This poem had that same feel...which one? I am still debating; but the thought process enduring so, is all the more appealing in itself (I was intuned to the inscription of monologue: worked well, in this case).
The topic of death will always turn heads. But to capture (and I mean truly captivate the mind of the reader), it has to offer more than the usual standards. This poem did an excellent job of this, offering not only a unique perspective, but as well, from an unusual, but enticing structure. -
Nice!
oooOOOOoooo!!! this would make an awesome song! i love the rhyming and the flow it has to it. the one out of place line at the end, the one that doesnt rhym, is a nice touch.nice piece!
~Felicia -
Lethal. I loved the Dark truth in it. The rhyming was superb.
I think I like it so much perhaps because it reflects something I would have wrote. I commened you. -
Bravo!! This was an entertaining piece. A poem which i enjoyed reading,not that i am an expert on rhyming,but it felt in place,not forced either.
Beautiful piece.
Well done and good luck in the contest.
Pisces. -
Very good ryhming and subject. But I see death as light at the end of the tunnel. Jacki
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Everlasting... Y'know what I was thinking of when I read your title? It made me think of Anne of the Island when her friend Ruby Gillis died... and it makes me think of how death brought out her beauty and perfection, and consencrated her earthiness. Um... this probably has nothing to do with your poem, but the title provoked that thought.
Interesting rhyming scheme. Sadly, I cannot follow the rules of poetry. It was also very fluid. Um... I cannot make any more comments... for my brain is dead from taking lots of exams. Good write though.
-Miji -
WOW, talented writer does not begin to explain your writing capabilities. amazing, just amazing. loved the writing and the message you send through this. nice work.
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Nice work
I love it. As a Christian I believe that death is nothing to fear and is actually something to be looked forward to. To leave this life of pain, suffereing, disappointments, and trialsd and step into an eternity with none of those thing.... no wonder the scripture says the day of death is better than the day of birth. Wonderful job with rhyming also. I just love rhyming poems!
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Really cool poem. I like how you ended it. Rhyming the last line would make the reader expect more. Good poem.
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nice
very nice poem, nice writing as well -
Very nice poem baby! I'm not to keen on the darkness, but if thats how you you want to express yourself then go ahead! I love you just remember that. And please please please don't make this come true. well anyways lovely poem, and nice rhyming scheme.
~♥~ Mauriah ~♥~ -
awsome
i liked the rhyme in it! i thought it was good but I think you should add more for some reason i don't know maybe its just me!! but good job! keep it up!
Linkin Gal -
i'm an anti-dark person asmy fiends call mebut this is sooo fabulouss!!!i totally adoredit!!!
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what a good poem for me to come back to....it was omg awesome.......i don't know what to say about it....normally i don't really like things that rhyme but i really loved this one. it was just....fitting...i loved it.
good luck in the contest!!
<33 and tacos....
-X- starryeyed -X- -
wow that is extremely good i absoulutely love the ryme scheme and i enjoyed reading this poem. please keep writing you have an amazing talent
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uuuuuh uhhhhhh im speechless this is awesome......wow OMG im really in awwwwe.....great job.....i though about etering this contest but with you in here with this write.....it would be pointless....great write.....there is no word to describe how good this is let alone a word that gives justice to this piece.....amazing job!
Best of luck in the contest!
Always
Bridget X Ann -
awesome
THis was so beautiful! I really liked it.. It has a good rhyme, none of it was forced! Good job
-Amber -
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UUUUUUUU sounds cool. it has a nice ring to it.
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great
this is very good. it was true, but in a different way. im not sure that made any sense, but i cant describe it any better. this was beautiful, and creepy... lol you really... changed the meaning of death. great write! -
Good poem. I think you put the verses together very well. I especially like this part:
Its Seduction,
Pure sweet seduction
Body's introduction
to complete destruction
A very good decription. I've bee there and know exactly how it feels. Also, I'm not on rhyme, but you put this peaice together where I can barely notice it. Awesome poem!
Keep up the good work!
Hugz!!
........Courtney! -
Hi the rhyme is good, and I am very fussy about rhyme as I write a lot in rhyme, great little poem I liked your thoughts on a subject a lot of people shy away from or go over the top, good flow and feel, all the best, very good aproach to a difficult subject. Di
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The only problem i have with this poem is how every word on each stanza rhythms, it just bothers me. it feels overly done, but other than that this is a good poem keep it up>>>>>
l< or K
Edited on Jun 09, 1:09 p.m. because ''. -
Very good.
Death never sounded so sweet before. Odd combo. I like this alot. -
Very well done. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest and keep up the great work!
Best wishes,
Amanda -
Very Different ,Touching and very deeply thought out .I really like the wonderful way you have celebrated death .Its the final destination and yet no one is ever prepared .I wonder if anybody would agree with your ideas that death is really a perfection .Written Very well
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Gorgeous!
*gasp* Wow...it's just so...stunning! I love the wording, and the ryhming!! Beautiful!!!
xxblissxx -
I liked the rhyme scheme you had in this. It did seem to me like a monolouge and this was creative. It lacked emotion to me or maybe I was reading it wrong. Other than that, you did a good job on this and I'm glad I got the chance to read something like this....
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The only complaint I think I have is the way the last stanza has "death" 3 times. I know not much else rhymes, but it gets on my nerves alitle but. Other than that, wonderful poem; strong emotion and that good stuff. good luck with the contest, darlin'.
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ya i liked it! it was really good and cool and all that good stuff!
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