The world an orange pastel glow
tinged with grief forever more.
weep we not for he whose dead
we celebrate his life instead.
Here we carry our fallen soul
a pilgrim from uncommon world.
Succumbed he from the spear of death
a molten mass we hail thee yet.
On horse and foot and through the sand
we trod with song on foreign land.
To lay him in his cold dark tomb
and speak no more about his doom.
Oh fallen pilgrim raised to the sky
we sing farewell our fond goodbye.
We herald thee to worlds unknown
with chant and praise we send thee home.
Author notes
Written June 8th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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my husband would love this poem because how you penned i like it pretty cool read wow old write to did i get a sneek peek of some old history {{ wondering}}
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no history behind it, it was basically written for a contest. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Avril
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This was an interesting write, dear poet. In fact, it was quite unlike any I've ever read before...very nice. I loved the imagery! It is tradition, in my critiques on poetry, to pick out my favorite lines. But when I went to pick out lines from your poem, I realized that I love them all and cannot choose favorites! Good luck in the contest!
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Ah the fallen pilgrim. could this not be your journey as a pilgrim and your fear is falling? Perhaps, perhaps not. The reader will never know. For in the heart of the poem lies the authors true meaning, hor it is percieved otherwise is left up to the reader. The first stanza had a funky rhyme scheme error, but was good throughout the rest. Thank you for entering my contest, you write very well
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Thank you Silverfire, I admire this piece greatly myself.
Avril
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This is a great poem. I like it when the lines aren't always subject-verb, and you mixed it up wonderfully. Great write, thanks for entering!
Silverfire -
This poem is truly phenomenal!!! You have written this so well, I dont have any criticism for this poem. Keep writing, and good luck in the contest.
-Tamara -
Compassionate
A gracious tribute to those who have fallen by the perils of war.
It read like a psalm to lost pilgrims.
A haunting devotion of praise and honor to brave soldiers everywhere!
Edited on Jun 18, 1:12 p.m. because ''. -
Avril this is a wonderful write. Sorry that I hadn't seen it sooner. I thought I was keeping a closer watch, but I see that it has been here for about five days. I will start checking back more often. Really I did enjoy it.
Deke -
Thank you Johnny, I've also added you to my favorites. It was a pleasure to have found such a wonderful writer here on AP. Avril
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A Masterpiece!
Hi Diamond,
You have written quite a masterpiece here! Your words flow like liquid gold. I love the rhythm and rhyme of this, it just fkows so well. Your use of imagery and description were excellent my friend. I am adding you to my favorites list Thank you for sharig your words my friend, and thank you fo much for reading and commenting on my writes
--Johnny
Edited on Jun 10, 3:49 p.m. because 'lol I can't spell today
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Diamond you write so well, you really brought this poem to life. You are a true poet in every sense of the word
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wow, this is a wonderful write. as others have commented above, you seem to really be able to delve deep into this image, into the artists eyes/mind. your words bring such life to the static picture, telling a story, making it move. excellent word choices. this piece really read beautifully - a great sense of rhythm and flow. a lovely job. keep up the good work. thank you for entering and best of luck in the contest <3
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it still amazes me how you get inside someone so easily avril with your words. you felt this picture and told it's tell so well. it's a lovely picture and your poetry has brought it more to life, so much so that you can almost hear it breath life. again you've done an outstanding job
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Oh Joyce, you always say the sweetest things. I tried to see what the artist painted from the artist eyes and this poem was the result. Thank you so Joyce, your words touched me as much as the painting has. Avril
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i looked at the picture and came back to read this and a tear fell from my eye.you really saw deeply into the image.it is an amazing writethis is like recognizing the custom of a people and showing great respect.i wish it could have went on longer.a true winner in my book.another bookmark moment for me.
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(one day perhaps) Ms Diamond
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Hi Wattle, you've managed to stir my curiosity. Someday you must tell me how I almost broke you, it would make for interesting conversation I'm certain. I'm in the process right now reading your sixth installment, so far so good. Thankyou for the comments and applause. Avril
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Ms Diamond, what a gem you are. This poem is the closest you have come to breaking me - it rings so true today and some time ago (for me; I dare not tell you why or when).
Edited on Jun 10, 4:27 because ''.
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