How far down can you really go?
Will you be able to see the dark curtain, come down and end the show?
Examine the dark folds in the deep, velvet, impressions of life
Look and study, the extreme sharpness of the silver knife
And the cat looks at you with very strange, alien, eyes
That replicates the universe, in beauty's disguise
The Raven is impatiently, waiting for his feed of carrion flesh
As the dark priest gets ready to give you the final bless
Oblivious to the world, you begin to look inside your head
Those intense thoughts that appear,just before you are finally dead
Sparked by friction of lust, into life, many years ago
Your purity was unsullied like the crisp, virgin, snow
And all in between was a product of the first sin
Like the swiftness of movement of the shark's dorsal fin
The horrors of terror, grip your thoughts in the deep
As your tired body gets ready for it's final long sleep
And suddenly, the dark gets very much darker, but bright
As it amazingly, changes, pupa like, to turn into white light
The warmth is felt, even by the most cruel of this race
As it transports you easily, past the boundaries of time and space
To a most beautiful and calm, primeval garden and surrounds
Peace you have sought for and have finally found
But soon you hear the creaking of the closing of the garden gate
And it all soon changes into your deepest form of hate
Murder, torture, intolerance is all that is left here
Now that you have finally left the confines of earth's blue sphere
And the tears of the living, flow and hold you back
As you are tortured and stretched on the bloody, wooden rack
Too late now to change, just take a panic attack
How long is this show?
How far down can I really go?
Author notes
Written June 8th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Poems of Death by Faerie.Princess.
300 points, ended September 28, 2006, 54 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sadness and depression by She Stole My Voice.
425 points, ended December 14, 2006, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wisdom by Tweedle Dee.
650 points, ended January 17, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, Love, Fantasy? by --Beautiful--.
550 points, ended February 18, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Melancholy by neitherherenorthere.
300 points, ended February 15, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sympathy for the Death of an Open Mind by laughingstock.
825 points, ended March 10, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness by RudeGirlxSkaKid.
440 points, ended March 8, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mire of Malady [a dark poetry contest] by gasolinequeen.
435 points, ended March 22, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sweet Darkness by PoetsAngel.
700 points, ended April 24, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Love You [show me your best] by thelovesongwriter.
800 points, ended July 29, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything && Everything (Shoot me up side the head) --all ages-- by Marilyn..
475 points, ended August 11, 2007, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm sick of the same old crap! by Trent plus pen.
1100 points, ended September 13, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amy Lee, We Love You by Sesheta.
700 points, ended September 20, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I need.... poems.. by Amorous Arms.
450 points, ended November 17, 2007, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bring It All by Simply Simple.
1800 points, ended February 26, 2008, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Are You Dark Enough? by Dark Edge.
450 points, ended December 15, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark beauty by Maili Knephthan.
600 points, ended July 2, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Only One (Evanescence Inspired) by EvenStarsBreak--x.
600 points, ended September 6, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Psycho Therapy by SchizoChic.
450 points, ended September 23, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your BEST of everything prewrites!!! by perfectsunset.
475 points, ended September 16, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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A beautiful write filled with
many emotions & deep thoughts.
Very well penned.
Lovely write
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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Nicely done. Best of luck in life and in this contest.
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Very beautiful write, with a very sad and dark topic. =] It flowed nicely, wonderful write. Thank you for the entry.
x-Pretty-Odd-x <3 -
Very well written and sad. I really enjoyed it a great deal This was a beautiful write. Thank you for reading the rules and placing "I am wonderful" in the AN Thank you for sharing this with us and good luck in my contest
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I liked this poem but it's kind of sad. It caused some thought though. Great job, best of luck, and happy holidays.
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Thought provoking, dark, lovely...thanks for entering
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This is beautiful. Love the the first part about theater and beauty...very good! Yod very good on this peice it deserves something...thank you for joining and good luck!
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I don't give trophies out to the same poem that's already won. But if it hadn't of won, I can gurantee you, you would had gotten something. It seems that the best poems I've got have already been rewarded.
thanks though, you can take it out if you like. It's still going to the finalist though.
Very smoothe.
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i love this poem. it was beautifully written and...just amazing. a little advice for contests, dont enter so many poems. but anywhoo, great poem. good luck in the contest and keep wriitng
Thankyou For Entering -
Hey.
Good write..
Question.
I did but didn't get this poem...
I mean.. I got a way I would understand it..
I am just asking for clerifuycation (Or however you spell that).
Did the dude in the poem go to hell?
Well, anyway.
It had a good flow,
And was a good write.
Thank you very much for entering. -
That....Was amazing.....great flow good luck -evan
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awesome
Very interesting and amazing interpretation of the song! Thanks very much for entering. Keep up the excellent work, and good luck!
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Wow again. Your poems are just emotional as always. Very good Keep up the amazing work. You seem to really understand the feelings of the cutter very well. Dark
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very intrigueing food for thought, nice write
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Thanks for another entry.
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good one
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Two thumbs up!
I really enjoyed this piece a great deal. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many mediocre (I'm pretty sure that's how it's spelled!) poems I recieved into my contest. . . To be honest, this poem was really wonderful. The beginning is questioning, innocent, beautiful; and it rolls into something tragic and dark, only to end once more with the questioning. . . This is a really beautiful piece that made me think. . . Well done, and thank you for following the rules to my contest! Good luck (not like you need it
.)
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good
I think i would gooo as far as i can. it sounds fun.
lol
goodjob -
Brilliant
I like the up and down up and down as though one was sailing in a ship in a storm in a wild ocean. You expressed so many different emotions and thoughts and messages here. I think it is really great to me it is the storm of humanity. -
~ Exhale ~ Wow. This poem is a fast read, almost frenetic in the pace it sets. Intentionally, I'm sure. I do believe my heart is beating faster than it was a moment ago.....
This piece grips the reader.....not quite tight enough to cause fear, but enough for us to be a bit uncomfortable with it. Really pulls you in, and doesn't loosen it's grip, not a even a little bit. If anything, it gradually gets tighter as you journey deeper into it's poetry, into it's story. Just so very far beyond well done.
~ ~ Sincerely, Janet ~ ~
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Creepy
Great images of a threatening nature. The idea of Fredrick Nietzsche " Be careful not to look over long into the abyss, because the abyss will look back ", comes to mind. This abyss is filled now with the swishing tails of giant sharks. The Leviathan lurks, in all his mysterious glory. -
those are dome really brilliant images and descriptions, appaluse and points for you dear, keep writing the good writes
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Will you be able to see the dark curtain, come down and end the show?
Examine the dark folds in the deep, velvet, impressions of life
Look and study, the extreme sharpness of the silver knife
And the cat looks at you with very strange, alien, eyes
this is so comepletely spell binding hunny. you have come so far in your darker writings and I adore them!
love
Angel -
this poem has captured the question "what really happens when you die".
it shows the good, the bad, the scary, the heavenly... and ends with who really knows... -
Hi Georges, great write my friend, the world as it is makes one feel sick to the stomach, no values, no true friendship, no forgiving the mistakes of others but they want to be forgiven, it's a mess,you have written a super poem as usual, all the best my friend, big hug Di
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i guess u speak of the darkness and gloom in this world that goes on it u keep going deeper and deeper into it until it's all u see- that's quite sad cuz there is alot of beauty and some innocence left. i guess this is also ur dying moment. it's very nicely expressed though. good job.
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My Dear Georges,
You have excelled yourself here.
I felt as though I were on a roller-coaster ride.
I believe we can now truly call you a wordsmith.
Well done.
Robin. -
Hi.. you have penned down a very lovely poem here.. I liked the flow very much.. It is a great piece of poetry.. I think it must be published and read by everyone.
Luv
Neha -
This was a pleasant surprise, I really love the content you had in that poem, it was just beautiful.
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