You.
Angry for what you lost
too proud to settle the dust
your wintry roar spreds frost
jealously chasing your lust
you pig
you swine
you fallen angel
you tried and failed
and fed your anger
your rip our hearts
you mock my God
you taste my blood and grin
but watch my Lord
see my sword
you haven't come to win.
You grind your teeth
and stomp your feet
determined you yet rise
your eyez hazed
your dagger raised
you pivot your reprise.
Try to seduce
declare some truce
pretend that you're my friend;
Pack up your lies
say your good-byes
your stay here's come to end.
You say you win
shout revenge
but i stand surefoot
The Lord's battle now
Better run, fowl
As I wipe away the grit and soot.
My knight in shinging armor
has come to rescue all
as he spread his arms and died
you thought you saw us fall.
Stand back you fool
eat your words
spit remarks astray.
Here He stands victorious,
you've nothing left to say.
Angry at your own defeat
you steal all what i own.
you take my time
you rob my rhyme
you tear the thread thats sewn.
Here's a newsflash for you fool
you assume I'm in your stock;
check your drawers
I'm not on your floors
I'm standing on the ROCK.
Author notes
a bit trite and some of the rhymes are forced: and i think i used the word "you" at least thirty times *cringes*;but overall i think its pretty ok. but dont take my word for it: feel free to tear this one apart too. 
Written June 6th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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your wintry roar spreds frost > Wonderful Line.
you tried and failed > Remove "and"
good use of repeating "you"
why is "eyes" spelled "eyez"?
My knight in shinging armor > COME ON YOU CAN DO BETTER!!! TRITE
you rob my rhyme > Cute.
OK . I just went through and put what i thought immediately when i saw the lines. I understood the poem, and you did a good job gettin' your point across. Nicely done. Thanks again!
Peace! ~ Tavia *
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