May I touch your face?
I just want to feel
How soft your skin is,
The warmth of you.
May I kiss your lips?
I just want to taste
The sweetness there,
Your tenderest spot.
May I hold your hand?
I just want to hold you
In any way you'll let me,
Have you close to me.
May I love you?
I just want to keep you
With me here always,
Claim myself as yours.
Author notes
I dunno... it just shot out of nowhere.
Written June 5th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Oh, no, this is one of my shorter ones. I have a few poems in my page that I have actually had issues with people telling me they were too long (or downrating them badly at the other site I use, which makes it look like a bad poem).
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Your cheering section went crazy on this. I have to say that I like it too, but it certainly wasn't long. From what you said earlier, I thought it would be at least six pages.
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The feeling of belonging shown in a very wonderful way!!! Wow! "Claim" one of the best titles for a subject matter as sensitive as this. Well done.
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Aww. Pretty! I'm entranced by this background.... plays with the sparkles... Hehe. I feel like that sometimes about Michael. Sometimes I just want to touch his face or hold his hand, because it makes me feel at ease. You hit that feeling right on the head with this.
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dashing
I love this poem it's sweet and I like the words you choose. -
awww... This is an awesome poem!!! it is very beautiful!!! You did a great job on this one!!! And the background is beautiful too!!!
hugs,
Beth -
Love It
oh wow this poem is soo wonderful,romantic,and full of depth into it lol I really enjoy reading it and also love the background it's really cool keep on writing and never stop cause so far I see you are very talented writer so don't give up
~*~Mina~*~ -
I really enjoyed this poem and love the background. This poem is short, sweet, and beautiful. YOur repition was very powerful and this poem makes me think of those first few days with someone, just starting to understand. Great poem
-butterfly -
Not a bad poem...I like the simplicity of it. It reminds me of the simplicity of a first-love, or even a simple crush. Just one thing I would change: warmness to warmth...might sound better. Other than that, I love it.
--Ivy -
Very nicely done with a great softness to it. You have captured your undying love for this individual quite well. Claiming ones self for another is of beauty but I sense an underlying dissatisfaction or low self esteem. Don't know, just what I am perceiving. Either way, it is beautifully written.
-Cadence- -
I thought the repetivness of "May I" added something to the poem that would win the reader's heart if it were dedicated to them. I liked how you elaborated on this person you desired without adding any features that could exclude the possibility of relation for the reader. You didn't get lost in boring details, but you didn't just skim over the features leaving the reader's mind without an image.
I don't know why, but I thought the poem would have been better if it had rhymed. I thought it would have really helped the flow, but it is possible if you had done that it would have sounded forced.
-David-
Edited on Jun 06, 2:48 because ''. -
This was simple and absolutely beautiful. I loved it very much, and it was short but right to the point of things, you know? Refreshing after a long night on the computer with few things to busy myself with. I loved the background by the way. Very pretty.
Good job on this!
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This was a wonderful, tender write that felt like it came from deep within you. I like how you didn't say "I claim you for myself" but instead "I claim myself for her" good job
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Edited! Thank you, I'm really bad with that sort of thing. I'll talk to you soon! Have a good night! (and if that story I was telling you about gets written, I'll pass it along. LOL!)
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That was beautiful, sis! I could totally feel the emotion, as well as an underlying innocence and naivity (sp?) in the asking. It was such a tender write... The whole thing felt so honest. Sometimes what pops out is the very best of all. I hate it when that happens at work because then I'm usually stuck and in agony! The only suggestion I have is the last word of the write should be "yours" not "your's". I believe that "yours" is already possessive without the apostrophe. Great write, as usual, and keep it up! I always love to hear what you write...
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