downstream
tailored a glass
tepid beyond the deep
laid depths of still calm sandy floor
river
with sprite
playful this night
between ivory shells
laid hypnotic dances on stage
faeries
walrus
gallop in cool
midnight under the moons
as they carry their mistress flight
seahorse
casing
in the caverns
between silvery glass
laid in ivory stone houses
lined shells
Author notes
#1-my passion lies in fantasy of rivers, faeries, seahorses, shells. I hope this fit a series of cinquain story. Please let me know.
In a list
A contest entry
- by l......
300 points, ended July 6, 2005, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver! by Cat10.
700 points, ended June 20, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn That Silver Into Gold! by Nicada.
300 points, ended October 8, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - sorry everyone for taking so long... by PonyPride.
650 points, ended December 17, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver to Gold by Nicada.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I see I have commented before and thanks so much for entering. Blessings, Patty
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Great job on writing a Cinquain. This is something I have never tried, so I admire you for this poem. You have some very nice imagery here. Great job, and thanks so much for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty
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Thank you
Thank you for the wonderful comment and applaudes given too. Saddie23
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thank you for entering! a very interesting piece you have here. I really like it though, good job and good luck
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I Owe my silver through you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Saddie23
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congrats!
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Thank you for commenting and responding to my poems. Saddie23
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wonderful
Sadie -
This is a great poem and I am sorry I didn't get to it earlier, I love it and I will definetly consider it. I like faeries also and I think seahorses are always cute especially in fairie tails. Well I g2g
Love Always
Megan
great write
keep it up
awesome job
good luck -
This is actually my first cinqain ever done. There so much like a haiku. Thank you for your help. I've learned so much from you on this cinqain. From your loyal student. Saddie23
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Oh this is much better hun.
here, "upriver," is three syllables, so you can eliminate "up" and just have "river."
good luck!
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Thank you helped me quite a bit. I will put to use and make this cinqain form. Saddie23
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Cinquain One: you have
Stream - which is one syllable where you need 2.
Lines 1-3 work very well. I liked very much.
Cinquain Two: Again you start off with only 1 syllable where 2 are needed. "performed a hypnotic dance," that line needs to have 8 syllables. I love the image here. I love Sprites and how they are so lively and full of energy!
Cinquain three: very well done. love the seahorse. beautiful image full of fantasy.
Cinquain four: Here you have 3 - 4 - 6- 8 - 1
so just need to tweak the first and last lines to make them fit the form.
You have a beautiful bunch of imagery here. I would love to see it developed out true to syllable form. I always use the help of dictionary.com if I can't find my dictionary or thesarus lying around. Good luck in the contest.
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