Broken.
Shards of Porcelain.
Lay S
ER
H ED
ATT
On the ground...
Sharpened dull edges
All r o
a u
...d n
Crying.
A little girl.
Lost...................F O R E V E R
In her own little world
Sobbing,
Little tears.
They Seep...
From innocent confused eyes.
Death.
Feasting All around.
Bodies, Strewn
S A
C R
L E
E S
LY
(Oh so carelessly)
Disregard.
No requiem...
For family.
For friends.
For little broken dolls.
That she's lost...
That she won't understand.
Simply, because in war...
Innocents die...
Since anything goes.
Author notes
...I was just thinking...
How sad, for those people who have lost their whole lives as a concequence of wars...
*sighs*
Written June 4th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Simply in your poetry i do not see you as a person but as a poem and that i do not read your poem but yet we live it...great job! ~:~mwah~:~
-
i tried somethin like this once... the whole random letter thing... i failed miserably at it tho... uhmmm, great poem... i found it to be very true... great job...
-bexa- -
This defentily is interesting. Your words are very strong and dark that's for sure. It's good, but I think it can be better.
-cindyxxx -
deep
this was a really good poem, and the moving around the letters made it appealing, attracted my attention
i've got three family members, and a couple friends in iraq or affganistan (can't spell) right now, i don't know if they're okay or not, it's scary....that was a great poem -
...Hmmm i tried to find a way to put careless so it would be of no concievable pattern...I knew if i reiterated carelessly people would figure it out...so thats why i let carelessly be randomly "thrown" about...
Thanks tho... -
very good
This was a very good poem, and I especially like your scattered letters idea. It is, to me at least, a highly original and interesting concept. Th format helped to convey your feelings a lot better than a conventional one would have. -
Wow! this is really well written, and the way you have scattered and layered your wording is perfect. The background just gives it that extra addded touch. You have done well. Thanks for sharing your talent.
ICUlookn
Edited on Jun 04, 8:52 p.m. because 'spelling error'. -
I like how you scattered some letters about to make words instead of just writing it. In one of my art classes we used to draw something but instead of lines we would use words. Sometimes just the same word over and over, but sentences too; ones that pertained to the drawing. I'd say that there is too much of a good thing though. I couldnt really find the carelessly in the last word scatter: I only realized that's what it was from the line following it. Otherwise it's nice. Shows imagination.
-
I don't know what to think here...I like it though.Sad.I just can't tell,for sure,if you're against war or not.I don't think anyone should be.We have to fight sometimes for what we believe in.Other than that very good job
-
I saw you had a contest up...so i decided to make some more work for you.. *lol* luv ya hun...
Feel free to tell me how crappy this piece is and comment on how i can make it better plz
Edited on Jun 04, 8:24 p.m. because 'I am a bunny...Now i am a cat...!'.
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1 - 10 of 10
5 old applause
