Pour down on me
Wash away the pain
Strip away this bitter loneliness
Reveal to me the beauty you possess
I close my eyes
Fall to my knees
Begging for a flood to take me away
Take me to a world where the sun doesn't shine
and the pain slips down my window
Raindrops push my tears away
Gray painted across the sky
My clothes cling to my worthless body
His blood running through my veins
Won't the lightning strike away his existence
Drip-drop away the memories
I can still see the pain sliding down my window....
Author notes
holy bunny i have no clue where this came from...i dont even like it..just rambling really...w.e
Written June 3rd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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impressive
wow im impressed i adored it -
hey, it finally let me get to your page. great poem, your sense of flow is very nice, keep up the great work
Josh -
wow..... just... wow, wonderful write, I agree with beautiful, I don't see how anyone couldn't like this, but then again, comes back to the old saying, we are our worst critics. I'm still kind of in awe... good job
♥ -
I thought that this was a great write, I don't know why you didn't like it. The way you incorporated pain as being the rain slidding down the window dripping away was a very original touch that added so much to this write. Your use of vivid imagery was amazing, it really led me to see and feel exactly what you were going through and seeing yourself. I hope to read more from you soon. Keep writing, -Heather
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