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Rain Down

Pour down on me

Wash away the pain


Strip away this bitter loneliness

Reveal to me the beauty you possess


I close my eyes

Fall to my knees


Begging for a flood to take me away

Take me to a world where the sun doesn't shine

and the pain slips down my window


Raindrops push my tears away

Gray painted across the sky


My clothes cling to my worthless body

His blood running through my veins

Won't the lightning strike away his existence


Drip-drop away the memories

I can still see the pain sliding down my window....



Author notes

holy bunny i have no clue where this came from...i dont even like it..just rambling really...w.e
Written June 3rd, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • June 27, 2005
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    impressive

    wow im impressed i adored it


  • Joshua Scott Peck
    June 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    hey, it finally let me get to your page. great poem, your sense of flow is very nice, keep up the great work
    Josh

  • AdequateSuspicions
    June 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow..... just... wow, wonderful write, I agree with beautiful, I don't see how anyone couldn't like this, but then again, comes back to the old saying, we are our worst critics. I'm still kind of in awe... good job


  • dolltrashhh-
    June 27, 2005
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    I thought that this was a great write, I don't know why you didn't like it. The way you incorporated pain as being the rain slidding down the window dripping away was a very original touch that added so much to this write. Your use of vivid imagery was amazing, it really led me to see and feel exactly what you were going through and seeing yourself. I hope to read more from you soon. Keep writing, -Heather