There is nothing-
no force of gravity
to pull me out of this
lavish hell hole.
Thank the godless
that I'm worthless.
At least, that's what
I'm told.
I know how this
hand is played.
I know I have to fold.
The dealer's got it out
for me.
Thank the godless
I've no soul.
This body of mine
(that is not mine)
takes a beating
because I've got a date
with life
and we're meeting
just over the edge
of the living.
The further I run
the further it gets.
Thank the godless
that I'm worthless.
That truly makes it
perfect.
Author notes
Critique to death.
Written June 2nd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Hmm, since I'm not Godless, I can't really say how I don't like this poem because to me it is wrong, but in all in all it was written well, but maybe you should pray and find that you aren't Godless at all, that it is the demons in your own mind that play tricks with you. But that is just me.
Kahy
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This is pretty cool. I like the title "Thank the Godless" was definately different. Good flow through the entire piece. Good imagery of trying to find a way out. Good write.
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This is a brilliant write. It reminds me of something I myself would have written when I was your age. Beautifully expressed, it has a graceful flow. You are truly talented. Keep up the great work and I can't wait to read more.
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this truely a beautiful poem, for me it was the title too, but really such heartfelt words honesty and thought make this a great poem, and a pleshure to read, thnks for writing it, take care xx
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brilliant
Amazing. You're a brilliant writer. -
This is actually very good. Truly heartfelt, your words are magical. I have nothing bad to say, this is very well done. Keep writing and take care!
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I have a thing about capitals. That is the only thing I could possibly critique about this poem, and it's a fault of mine not yours, so it's pretty much irrelevant... I do critique poems when I find something to criticise, so I'm not just being 'nice' when I say this is very good. Wonderful repetition, and I love this part 'The further I run/ the further it gets.' It's right on the edge... I can feel a buzz through it. Fantastic. Well done. X
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WOW!!! that was really really good. i couldnt critique this, you are a far better poet than i. keep writing
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