The blood mixed with dried tears on the girl's face as the blade sliced through her wrists. Her vision blurry, she reached for the bottle of pills to take away her pain. The pills slipped down her throat as memories of the hurtful words everyone said engulfed her empty head. A feeling of abandonment and regret filled her ice cold heart as she reached for the gun and pulled the trigger. Her body hit the floor lifeless as her spirit lingered. Her soul could not be at rest because she refused the gates of Heaven and Hell refused her. She hovered above her mutilated body as her mother walked into the bath room and screamed. She fell to her knees and held her daughter in her arms. She found a note clasped in her clammy hand and this is what it said: "No life, No death. Only hate and sorrow. No regret, No worries. Only darkness and emptiness. Singled out, never accepted. Only loathed and pitied. Gone now, never returning. Only to watch you in pain. Not your fault, no solution. Numbness after so many deadly pills. Death after the numbness but not numb after death."
The pain never left the girl and as she watched her family grieve, she realized she had friends all too late.
Author notes
Written June 2nd, 2005
A contest entry
- Can't Spell BeLIEve Without the LIE by alandriel1138.
300 points, ended January 19, 2006, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm Feeling Kind Of... by Silver Asylum.
550 points, ended October 22, 2008, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tick me off. or please me your choice. by Black Wolf.
1150 points, ended March 28, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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a deeply dark and disturbing write, i believe that suicide is the way to infict the most pain possible on family and friends fro the person leaves them to grieve in the worst possible way always wondering how and if they could have prevented it and always wondering why the person who commited suicide chose death rather than life with them. a deep and thought provoking write, thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
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That was great
You described her feelings and situation so well, I especially liked the note she left. And at the end how she realized that she had friends after all. However, if I would offer a suggestion I would say to describe how she realized she had friends, describe how they reacted
not only her mom. -
Amazing
I really loved this poem. It was very tragic. My only critique would be that it was more like this happened, then that happened, and then this happened. If I were to change it I probably would add a little more to it, let the reader get to know the subject. But besides that, the poem was still amazing. The way you worded it I felt like I was a fly on the wall, watching the scene take place. The note she left was my favorite part. Please, if you do decide to revise this, do not change that because that was perfect and probably one of the best lines I've read in a poem. Great work and good luck in the contest.
~*~Suicide Blonde
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i really liked this, my favorite part was((( "No life, No death. Only hate and sorrow. No regret, No worries. Only darkness and emptiness. Singled out, never accepted. Only loathed and pitied. Gone now, never returning. Only to watch you in pain. Not your fault, no solution. Numbness after so many deadly pills. Death after the numbness but not numb after death.")) especially the last line .....
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Wow, I can really relate to this. All those times i've wanted to end it, the only thing that ever stopped me was my thoughts; wondering who would it hurt if i went away permanently. This dredged up many emotions for me. Good writing.
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breath-taking
wow- i've felt like this so many times- i completely get it. I love how you can put such undescribable feelings into words that you an almost taste the sorrow and the despair. keep up the good work! -
OMG-this is an effin sad poem...but yet i like it alot!!You did a great job!!You know i kinda feel like that sometimes...but i get over it...but it is a really good poem!!!keep up the great work!!!
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