Bring me to my knees,
With n'er ending lust for pain.
I stare through limpid frozen eyes,
This scenario playing before me,
...Again And Again and Again.
How sweet is your hatred, served warm ?
How is the stench of my demise, sweet on thy lips ?
How is the robe of betrayal, Is it to thy's Liking,
Fit For Thee My Queen ?
More than pain, more than sweat,
More than tears,More than blood
Thy has no notions of the prospects of hurt nor threat,
And shall i burn with the blade of betrayal
That was so aptly placed at mine throat ?
Is mine demise still sweet to thee ?
Bitter like of Absinthe of wormwood ?
Deadlier than that of nightshade?
So easy for you to kill me...
.
..
...
....
Forgiveness was always yours dearest.
But forgiveness does not breed forgetfulness,
Mine demise tis your doing.
PAY FOR IT.
Author notes
...Feeling down...well you get the gist...oui?
Written June 1st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Damn. It'll take me a few reads to sort through this...It's fascinating as hell. I love the metaphors...they say that poems that speak in layers are the works of true poets.
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This is really interesting, and good
Your wording was wonderful and entertaining, I loved this stanza:
Is mine demise still sweet to thee ?
Bitter like of Absinthe of wormwood ?
Deadlier than that of nightshade?
So easy for you to kill me...
Lovely work... -
nice
This was a very interesting poem. Some nice not so traditional phrasing. I really enjoyed that aspect of it.
The last phrase was by far the best part. Way to tie it up in a nice package. Wonderfully done. -
Your choice of wording is perfect!!!! I love the way you did this, I also want to say sorry that you are feeling down, but poetry is the best way to get out all the emotions you may be feeling, at least I think so! I just love the way you wrote this though. It is very well written and I think easily read! Great write!
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middle/high english ?
I am afraid I do not understand when you use this terminology.
And thats quite ok with me..I don't mind your views at all...I appreciate it greatly...
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I don't usually do this, but I have to disagree with DeamonSister. I felt that the addition of the middle/high english diluted the narrative voice. Don't get me wrong- I liked it- but I just thought that the occasional "mine" and "thy" seemed out of place compared to the great choice of words like limpid and stench. I liked it, but I just think it would be stronger if you either stregnthed the use of the middle/high english syntax or eliminated it. Keep up the writing.
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Whoa ! this was a Great poem! I love the form on this one and your eloquent choice of words .....Absolutly an amazing poem It was great reading it .....
Angel
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DAMN!!! I like the way you have the words formated,, the wording is perfect.. everything about this poem is perfect to me.. it touches me in every way, although its not to me~ I think you understand~
Great Write,
Hope to read more of your poems soon~
~Gabriell~
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