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64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1469&ArtistID=9993
She was always the one to point
Me, in the right direction,
but pianos fall on all kinds of people
You can't really predict such things
I mean, who in the fuck jogs at 8 in the morning anyway?
You know, I don't know,
I mean yeah, I took flowers to her mom and everything
But ah, I'm emotionally unavailable,
I can't seem to find the time to masturbate these days
let alone, even eat, so fuck jogging, that's her fault.
What you want more?
Maybe a BBQ
Everybody likes fish
well, I mean, plastic fish like bowled fruit
And all the Chiquita banana chicks are there
And they're swinging their hips back and forth
And they're singing the Chiquita banana song
I'm running around, I'm like five
I have a pet grasshopper, and a praying
mantis with dental floss tied to its leg
from my bunk bed
Everything is trunked and hidden away
Like photographs that have been burned
and sort of ashed into piles
Bones, dinosaurs, anthropologists
Orangutans, even orangutans stick their fingers
in their asses I don't know, maybe it's some sort of
'Fuck me, fuck you'
White dwarf, kind of like a star collapsing
Ah, I don't know, I always bit the eraser off my pencil
Just, you know, and right when I would bite it, and swallow it
(I have all kinds of things in my stomach like
hang-nails, gum, and erasers)
Then, you know, I would have to use it,
but it wouldn't be there,
so I would tear holes in the paper
I always tear holes in the paper
[demented laugh]
So the pub was the same
it was always like this
Sort of Dark, and candle lit
I approached my perch like a gargoyle in heat,
and I stood there, steadfast, and listened
to the woman, I think she might have been a transvestite,
but she was still relatively good looking
She was talking about the cow that wore the golden lightning charm
She said in pastures, Texas pastures
it's very common for tornadoes to pick up cows
Or God to throw lightning, and strike the beasts dead,
but one cow, one cow in particular, stood among the rest
higher and prouder (well, he couldn't read like my pet monkey,
but he still stood high and proud).
And he was able to read the other cow's minds
The lightning had changed him
So there was this droning stereo sound of
'moo, ma, moo, moo-moo-moo
ma-moo-moo-moo-moo'
and he stood up eyes bulging from his head
and said 'What the fuck! Can't you say anything but moo,
fucking moo? What about coo, what about chew, what about fucking ensue,
what about slice some fucking chickens up, and forget about this beef festival?'
It's all madness, it's all madness, but I like Chris & Pitts... They have good ribs,
but the cow, he wore this necklace with the golden lightning pendant on it,
and he was the first cow to really step forward,
and analyse the whole sound of moo, moo...
I don't know, everything was dark and moist between her legs
It was a sort of cave, a sort of cave somewhere in Venezuala
next to those big fucking waterfalls
her name was Maria Rosetta
She liked to ride horses naked
I don't know why I was lost in her breasts
I was lost in the way she would make guacamole
It was her hips, well, I outlined my finger, my finger prints,
well my whole hand print in ink, and tattooed it on her side
kind of like an Indian would mark his horse
And I claimed her my Guatemalan maid, and I said
'Listen maria, I'm going to have a real big house one day,
and I think you'd be the perfect woman for my Eureka,
you naked, my vacuum cleaner, bring some friends,
what the fuck, bring all your cousins,
I hear they have great weed down there'.
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1469&ArtistID=9993
Guitar solo
Author notes
A spoken word improv
voted number ten spoken word piece on garageband.com
www.cdbaby.com/all/horus8
Written June 1st, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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well, It's sure different and I loved it, I will be sure to check out your other work..tashaxx
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This is great fucking work, I jsut couldn't read fast enough I just had to know, I love the part aboutMaria Rosetta and Eureka, no matter how beautiful or how nice the tits are, men still need someone to clean their fucking house...lol
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This started out like a regular contemporary piece. Everything came up so randomly, yet somehow related to the next. The flow of this song was good...though a bit obscene. What in the world isn't though?! There was some imagery here and a lot of detail. Improv is great written by the correct writer...and I think that you fit into those shoes. Keep up the great work and good job in getting your point across!
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that was very unique... and awesome. I loved it. very entertaining.
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good
great fun, cows, breasts, the f word, it all works. -
Yum.....
Very entertaining...funny and alive.
I could actually taste eraser and guacamole! Superb! -
Holy crap...very cool. It was so different, like a trip through ur mind...fun....good work it all rolls together. It also caught my attention, and kept it.
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i feel sure you must have a target audience, i personally don't care for it, but some of your other things i find to be very creative. this was a bit juvenile, or teeny-bopper adolescent sounding with the amount of expletives you used.
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so pure and expressive.. I think a differnt picture would probably be better.. but your family is beautiful none the less.
I loved the part "It was her hips, well, I outlined my finger, my finger prints,
well my whole hand print in ink, and tattooed it on her side" -
wow... wow... wow.....
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Didn't listen to the suggested bits but I certainly enjoyed the strea of consciousness... the poetic metaphors and the rich tapestry you wove. One part stuck out in particular.... approaching a bar stool like a gargoyle in heat. That imagery was spectacular.
~Faded -
I was almost positive I read and commented on this but I dont see it so here I am commenting. This was woah! You are a very talented writer and I enjoyed reading this!
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Great improvisation. I liked this a lot. I tend to like most of what you write. Keep it up. You're an amazing writer.
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Cackle.
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Ha! I think I would actually listen to this. Hmmmm. Nice to see your wife and boys as well. A family friendly photo?
You continue to surprise me.
DL~ -
This was defintiley out of the box, but thats not a bad thing. I liked this alot, creative, funny, and just a bit of sarcasm, its a great mixture
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I'd have to hear this one to comment.-Al
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this was pure fun to read and if i weren't so damn tired i'd come up with something witty... lots of cows here... i won't be looking at them them in the same way again... never much liked them anyway.
i always enjoy your writes... they're fresh, not crap and witty as hell... i should get off my butt and read more. this one really got me... it's bookmarked for life now.
glad you're here and sharing your work
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that was strange lol but cool much luv!! tiffany
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Well, now I know what it all looks like from outer space...
What a trip! Peace, Kelly -
Thanks.
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very intertaining.. i think.. there were parts i didnt' like and parts i did..
so i'm gonna go ahead and say good write.. BUT PS.. JESUS LOVES YOU
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oh so you're a vegetarian, are you? fascinating. tell me more.
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grow up already...
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so I would tear holes in the paper
I always tear holes in the paper
That line was freakin funny!!! Buy Charmin next time
Lol!! You were really creative in this write- actually, beyond creative...perhaps a little twisted, in a wonderfully funny way!!! I will have to read more of your work..see if ya live up to the high level you have set for yourself with this!!
Peace, Syah
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A round of the clap for everyone. Another great write...I don't know you , but it seems only you would think of a cow analysing mooo. Hill air e us. Keep it up.
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Love the line
I have a pet grasshopper, and a praying
mantis with dental floss tied to its leg
from my bunk bed
May be i am warped .
I found this intresting to read .
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So are orangutans.
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This is kinda like erotica...parts were really great...but others sicken( i am sorry but i am a vegetarian) Good job! YOu have a uniqueness to your writing that flows over brilliantly!
Ask
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I'm listening to the new Wheezer .. Beverly Hills ..
I love them. -
God, took me long enough to transcribe it, only like
three years. -
Oh and what a spoken word improv it is .. My absolute favorite on the CD .. I remember when I first got it .. that heckle .. worth the price of the CD itself...
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