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carousal

I wish I knew
What happened to me here
I want to escape this place
Shrouded in fear
Flirting with danger
To gain what i lack
I see where things used to be
Knowing i can't go back
Why can't my skeleton
Fall out fall out of the trap door
I don't want to hide him anymore
It hurts so back to lie
To the one i love the most
This torture seems
To haunt me like a ghost
The fingernails of fate
Scrape across the glass of my mind
The past is catching up
Though i thought i left it behind
Dreams of innocence
They way i used to be
But no longer a virgin
It was taken from me
NO! this is not the way
It was supposed to turn out!
I stare at you screaming
I want to know what this is about
I never meant this to happen
I guess i love to much
Because i let myself be tainted
By your lustful touch
Give away freely, I'll love you til the end
This was the lie i ate
Thinking you were a God-send
Part of me wants to drown
In the ecstasy of another's body
But the other part wants innocence
To be returned to me
The carousel keeps turning
It's making me sick
I wish i could get off
This was all a mean trick
I'm so afraid to love any more
But i fear my body means nothing to me
I wish i could stop this carousal
But i don't know how

Author notes


Written May 31st, 2005

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Comments


  • Angelicwhisper
    June 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It just the stepping out of the shadow that seems the hardest, fear keeps you in shadow so long it seems.

  • Zim
    June 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    powerful

    Wow, this is a talented weave of your frustration and sadness. Good job conveying your feelings. Remember, there is no further fall than that which makes you feel the loss of innocence in the shadow of grace. however the wonderful thing about shadows, is that you only have to step out of it to be in the light. The answer is in your heart. you have a wonderful talent with the written word.


  • Angelicwhisper
    May 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Aw thanks Annie :-) love ya!


  • May 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautifully written I love the metaphors used... excellent sweetie and this part was so telling:
    Why can't my skeleton
    Fall out fall out of the trap door
    I don't want to hide him anymore

    I hear ya loud and clear... very well express and your talent is shining Excellent! All the best, Annie