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Hi, I'm Invisible

Hi, my name is Invisible.
Or at least that's who I am to you.
My heart was breakable.
You should know your the one who broke it through and through.
Even without knowing.
I'm a person you don't want.
I know that it's true.
But how do I keep my broken heart
From wanting you?

Author notes


Written May 31st, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • BrokenWings...Fly
    July 13, 2006
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    wow . great write . awsome


  • Perhaps
    June 18, 2006
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    Great poem, rather sad- but it's totaly in the emotion. You've shown what's in your heart very well- one thing, your fourth line looks a little long and breaks up the excelent flow you've got goin here. Other that that small thing, It'sa great poem and I enjoyed reading it.


  • -Ink Artist-
    April 26, 2006
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    This is a very moving piece! It is simple in structure but describes some complicated emotions. I think at one time or another, each of us has felt invisible. You bring your emotions straight from the heart. Very interesting write!!

    ~~Lori~~


  • Pollywog
    December 20, 2005
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    oh... you did wonderfully kayla! this was amazing! Your poetry is amazing! Keep up the wonderful work! I loved it! The emotion was perfect! It was great!
    ~:Kitten:~

  • crystalball112
    June 22, 2005
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    awesome

    this poem does not suck. you did a wonderful job getting your emotion across in this piece. you are not invisisble and if he thinks you are just tell me who it is and he wont anymore lol
    great job
    ~~Crystal~~

  • coldest day ever
    June 13, 2005
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    well i'm sure your not invisible! unless your a ghost! in which case that'd be fuckin awesome--it was a really good poem with emotions--if a dude thinks you're invisible, kick him in the balls! you'll get his full attention when he's finished crying!! good luck


  • Megan Dearest
    May 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    *sings* You're not invisible to meee!!11! lol Anyways, this was a cool poem. Its simple and short but it gets the job done. Lovely lovely.

    Meg


  • eternalpoet
    May 31, 2005
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    3 stars ***

    HUh!!.. miss Invisible??

    well you may be invisible here, but your true trauma was clearly visible and felt in this ppoem.. went with and upside down flow, like a real lively life..

    nice write kayla...
    thanks for sharing...


    take cares and have a nice time my dear friend.... just keep it up.... your humble little friend...... ...... ........ ...... - vic ( who else?)


  • Young Black Woman
    May 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You are so not invisible to me but I feel your sadness. I realy like this poem it is so heartfelt you should enter this in a contest I bet you would win. Very good write keep writing you are quite good at it and I enjoy you.

    Love the one and only never phony,

    xXHotnSexyMamaXx

1 - 9 of 9