Must find someone I can blame
For this life feels so strange
That I must find a way to change
Lifeless pain and relentless hate
Revolves around this emotional state
Vengence is the only way
Must get back, they must pay
Darkness falls upon the weak
Vengence is what I seek
Death and destruction to mankind
In the future this is what you'll find
Lifeless pain and relentless hate
Revolves around this emotional state
Vengence is the only way
Must get back, they must pay
Author notes
Written May 31st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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Awesomeness This is wickedly sick, gatta respect the vengence


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ha I like this...

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Amazing
Should I bother with words? This is really really deep. -
WOW i love it
omg i expecially like "Lifeless pain and relentless hate Revolves around this emotional state"
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wow wow....wow
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OH my god. This is so awesome. And I totally understand what you are talking about here. Revenge is and awesome selection to write about because it comes from what you feel or what happened. Well at least that's what i think but anyway great work. I would give you more applause but you only applause once which really sucks. But this is a really great write keep up the great work.
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I've been marked
So awesome Steve, revenge is one of the greatest things to write about. You can never speak to much of it, as long as you keep to yourself at certain points. I have learned that the hard way. Too many times. People will always get thier just deserve. There is no way of avoiding it. Talk to you later Steve, keep it up. -
Nice one
This poem was wonderful. You may have never knew this but there are people who are mad about rhymed poetry (I am one of these maniacs ... hehehe) I liked it very very much although I am not too easy to please. Well done!!! -
EXCELLENT
awesome song baby very dark full of emotion and eerie i liked it keep up your good work i love you baby
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Excellent rhythm! Retribution has it perks, it can enpower you to become a damn good poet!
Everyday feels the same
Must find someone I can blame
For this life feels so strange
That I must find a way to change
These opening verses described me in a nutshell. I really loved this write and I hope to see more. -
wow, this is very nice and powerful, great write, keep it up...
it's quite emotional....
i'd love to hear that in a song...with music...
well maybe some day u'll be in a very famous band and u'll play this song and i'll be like "w00t i read the lyrics waaay before u all on the allpoetry"
janie
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cool
hah, awesome poem =P props. -
oo, all dark and angry! you rock my world! i love these kinds of poems, espcially when they are well written, which yours is! great write and keep up the great work!
~sammy -
awesome
I really like the tone of this -
dark..real dark..lol..it has a nice rythem..and the context is strong..a interesting poem over all..and i can definetly feel the anger
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ok...that was weird..i just started commenting on this and it messed up so im gonna type out a new comment
i really enjoyed reading this; it had a great rhythm and A LOT of power that radiates from it. the emotion is there... im thinking it has a lot of anger and pain involved in it. i dont know what compelled you to write this, but im guessing it has a lot to do with soceital issues? or parents or something someone did to you. im making guesses obviously, but im just curious as to what it was that made you want to write this, so im making my own little assumptions.
corections if im wrong.
i really enjoyed reading this, and id be interested in hearing it as a song with the music and everything. i read your profile and obviously youre a musical person(kickass!). you should submit more of your lyircs on ap; i, and im sure others as well, would enjoy reading them.
(this was my comment that you requested for the contest entry. my poem was called Water Angel, and this was the first poem ive entered in contest.)
thanks
peace
cassandra -
A+
very good poem. the rhythm you have is amazing in it. It all flows together. I will enjoy reading some of your other poetry. I entered into your latest contest, and wanted you to know I took it seriously and decided to comment. Thanks for the wonderful read -
Awesome
I really like this. I love the way it's written, with the rhythm and rhyme you have. I can almost hear it as a song, and it's great as a poem. Great job. I love this.
Kat
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Ouch, painfully dark. Sounds like someone's life is about to really get screwed up. Anyways, great write. I like the constant hard-hitting, biting lines of short powerful rhymes. This poem may not be very descriptive or have much imagery, but it sure does hurt and burn. I'd hate to be the one this was meant for.
-the obsidian rose -
Wow! This is one powerful write!!! Packed with true raw emotion that comes across so very real. I think the repeat of the second stanza really adds to the impact! Revenge is such a strong emotion and you have written about it well! Very nicely done!!
Karen
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this is good.. think it could be a bit longer.. maybe two stanzas before throwing in the chorus, but good overall. Kudos! - Steve
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Good
This is very good, I like the way you repeated the 2nd verse. Good use of words and rhyming.
~ Sylvia -
nice write
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good write
can really feel the need for vengence in this poem, comes across like he definitely means business. -
he he he o no that feelin, cool poem man really kept me hooked
well done -
wow...dark yet pretty... i like the way it rhyms... it has a nice pace to it... you put soooooooooooooooo much emtion into it and the way you express the way you feel... it really creats pictures in your mind...well done and keep writing
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Damn. This is good. You pretty much sum up what most people feel when they want revenge. Like what everybody else has said it has a good flow. Keep up the good work.
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ohhhh niiice, love this, nie flow to it... full of emotion, and anger, just wondering any action that spurred this... someone deceive you?? or just a genreal misanthrope?? well, anyways nice write
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Sounds like a great poem I really
the rhyming and it had an excellent flow to it, Very
Well that is about all I can say, So uh...
till next time
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oOo the darkness that eminates around this poem... O.o... i can practically FEEl the anger sitting here in my chair.. wow.. I really like the second stanza.. ~Alatariel~
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Steve, this is a wonderful poem...I don't think I could ever write as deep as you. You write with such emotion and hatred and yet love. Wonderful write...i'm going to keep coming back for more! Alexis
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GREAT write babe! keep up the good work
luv jess
xxx -
10
Hey I like this one out off all....you got pics..i would't mind seeing them...i got pics...well send me and IM back -
great write, i think this would make a great song, i love the 3rd stanza its a very powerful verse. keep up the great work. xXxXx <3
*Jordan**
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VERY GOOD!
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yep, defiently on my fav's. need i say more?
-Alea -
hey, that was awesome. nice job.
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Great
Very nice Steve. -smiles- I like it... -gives him a cookie- For you
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well done this is excellent verk dark and meaningfull. Keep it up
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thy words rage within those echoes
where silence screams into the oblivion
like an anger wolf looking for his prey!
Interesting perspective!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
Edited on Jun 10, 10:58 because ''. -
things are not as they appear
Very best peom you have ever written in my opinion. Very, very good. You are a very good poet Steve, very good. People will pay for what they do to us, someday. -
you don't hate me i know you too well, and ha ha great joke
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fuck you you fucking fucktard i hate you and your fucking mom and i didn't fucking mean that cos you fucking drive me outta my mind except not cos you're fucking awesome and not in the "oo i wanna fuck you you're so damn hot fuck me now" kinda thing. <3
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you'd like that wouldn't you
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FUCK YOU!!
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BITCH!...*cough*
awesome, bitch.
seriously, bitch. this is a good song, bitch.
talk to you later, bitch
-Michelle
































