Perhaps we will Meet again
On some Wine-coloured day*
To share ubiquitous kisses
Each of Them
Failing to Linger
Each of them with the Infidelity of my arms*
That have lost Themselves to pallid cheeks
The same cheeks I swore to rouse crimson
Drown all chaste
and absolution
--Against midnight sky
From which the Moon, unbreakable tonight,
Bore witness to pie-crust promises
We sealed with one imploding kiss and
One exploding soul,
Or was it the Other Way Around?
Perhaps someday we will meet again
Under heady rain and
I needy Between the legs.
Because of These Damned Hopes we Learn To Dream
Author notes
wine-coloured day* ['Day-colored wine' from Ode to Wine by Pablo Neruda]
infidelity of my arms+ ['Human on my faithless arm;' Lay your sleeping head, my love/Lullaby by W.H.Auden]
Pre-gingergreentea edit:
[Thanks, Kannika]
Perhaps we will Meet again
On some Wine-coloured day*
To share ubiquitous kisses
Each of them
Failing to Linger
Each of them with the Infidelity of my arms*
That have lost Themselves to pallid cheeks
The same cheeks I swore to rouse crimson
Drown all chaste
and absolution
And blush you did against midnight sky
From which the Moon, unbreakable tonight,
Bore witness to pie-crust promises
We sealed with one imploding kiss and
One exploding soul,
Or was it the Other Way Around?
Perhaps someday we will meet again
Under heady rain and
I needy Between the legs.
Because of These Damned Hopes we Learn To Dream
Written May 31st, 2005
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel You by Kuragari91.
300 points, ended August 21, 2005, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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We sealed with one imploding kiss and
One exploding soul,
Or was it the Other Way Around?
i love this lines
i love everything about it
mmm di ako active non
galing nyo talaga ni Kannika
musta na?
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I'm sorry, but I cannot judge this poem. You did not follow the commenting rule. So sorry!
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Bloody marvelous!
My sister, I have been away from AP for some months and I return to find you latest piece of beauty written on my birthday no less!
Yep, Neruda meets WH Auden, in a steamy but considered reflection of a past love. Always dichotomy in love with you isn't it? You write with tender memories of potent acts, yet always the togetherness is transitory. Your protagonists come together in a torrid afair, explode and drift apart. Ships in the night. The memory of lust lingering like the scent of her patchouli on the shirt your wife bought you! (oops giving away a bit here!).
Love the lines -
Perhaps someday we will meet again
Under heady rain and
I needy Between the legs.
This is when lovers should meet, when both feel thus. And when they do, this will begin the perfect merging of souls and the dream we have learned to dream may become reality.
Much love. -
Love this, Gwen. I'm not really in my "critique poetry" mood today, so I'm not really going to say anything too big. I love this, and how you altered some lines from great poems. (Love Auden, that's for sure!) I just have a problem with the line "And blush you did." Somehow, because the poem is very lyrical already in a sense, you don't really need to invert lines like that..I'm sorry, but because of Sir Neil's influence, inversions like that remind me of Yoda-speak ("Return I must" or something like that). hehe. Un lang. but it's up to you if you would like to consider that. Seems like I"m the only one having that problem. but then it's me. I always have problems.
THis is a good rest from the really bad day I've had today..will tell later when you're online. and Oooh, it's Cost of Living by Arundhati Roy. It's P730, so damned expensive. Is it a novel? hmmmm. Excited.. and also that Szymborska book.God, I would love to sacrifice my remaining allowance on clothes to buy that book, but then I'll have to suffer with ill-fitting clothes this sem, so I guess I would still have to somehow earn a budget for it.
Miss you online!
Keep writing (always and always, the amarinth astir..Why am I going Garcia Villa now?)
Kannika -
Fantastic!
Fantastic imagery! Very beautiful poem...your words make it very very poetic! I love the flow! Keep writing!
~Selana -
well what can I say,seems we have all been down the same road and had a bite of the same pie crust,well written.
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Such a beautiful poem with dramatic imagery that is conveyed very nicely. So very poetic, with an unique word choice that adds to the context of the poem. Great write!
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Hey that was a really good poem i loved i loved the flow the base was alsome you write good shit man keep writing and keep it comin g from the heart cause when it come's from the heart it's a true poem keep writing have fun x you rawkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk always gdog
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great
This is a captivating poem... Many of us have been in that forbidden embrace. Great imagery
Peace
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Just beautiful and well written.
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this is a nice write with great imaagary and the flow was good but i must admit in a spot or two it hung up overall great job
love and light
blaze -
very good, this is one your better poems in a while,
Im really into Neruda rigth now, and i loved how you had that illusion in there, my favorite poem of his right now is "white bee", but i wish i new spanish so i could really read it, you know,
On the poem, i loved the tone, you have a lovely voice, the speaker is very cool, her perception of infatuation, intimacy, love, is very rad, she is cool and composed but packs a very spicy punch, and this tone makes your poetry interesting to read, specially from a male perspective.
Diction, i loved it, you used words i don't often see, and also original images like
And blush you did against midnight sky
From which the Moon, unbreakable tonight,
Bore witness to pie-crust promises
i loved the blush against the moon, i hear alot of things like that but not with words as well chosen as those,
I also liked the pie crust thing, it had an original flavor, im never seen that kind of image before, and i really like that because on here cliches seem to rein supreme, i love seeming these original phrases with items that are so....something, i dunno i just liked how you used that,
Overall i really liked it, some parts weren't like smooth to read, but this didn't have a rhyme so it didn't really matter, it was more of my fault, just reading it wrong, anyways this is long, so SHINE ON
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A+
Totally gorgeous imagery and you've chosen each word so perfectly -
awwww this is a sweet kind of poem.i like it though.keep up the good work .
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could somebody hit me in the head now?
I should not have read this..ah.. it brings bad memmories.. to critical to even comment..still I love the poem..love you.
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