Hush my children of the night-
and I shall tell a story.
I know that darkness does delight-
and pure evil is so gory.
I'll spin a tale of darkest deed-
because I know you'll love it.
It comes to mind in darkest seed-
of frightening things you covet.
There in the silent black of night-
just when the moon is waning.
And hazy clouds drift in with might-
obscuring the moonlight's sustaining.
The magic spirit comes to dwell-
with in the mind's delusions.
Can conjure up a frightening spell-
and leave you in seclusion.
He knows your weakness all too well-
and plays a mindless game.
Fills your head with nightmarish tales-
And leaves your spirit lame.
He knows just how to make you jolt-
sighting innocents as fair game.
He is the powerful black magic bolt-
destroying your soul in flames.
His only purpose and delight-
to lay your soul to waste.
In tossing turning fitful dreams-
daylight power can not erase.
He wants to hear your heart pound-
cold sweats will fill your room-
He feeds upon your fear of how-
nightmares seal your doom.
He is the demon of the night-
invades a sound nights sleep.
His only reason to exist-
to steal your soul to keep.
Suseann
Author notes
About nightmares.Won gold in Georges contest.Won gold also in Frozen Tears contest./This piece won honorable mention placing in the 2007 Raven Qualifier Dark Contest;
Written May 30th, 2005
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Dark: Anger, Angst and Goth by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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The author of this poem has chosen to write about how evil and dark things make us feel terrified in the night and how those feelings can remain with us throughout the day. I think these feelings have been described in colloquial language giving this poem a wide audience. I think this poem has been well thought out and well written.
The imagery in the piece has also been done imaginatively and the rhyme and flow are extremely good. There’s one spelling mistake to correct in stanza two “frightening.” While all the stanzas are strong, the one I liked best was stanza six because I think it depicts how evil can destroy the soul of innocents.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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This is well done.
This is a very prophetic and interesting piece. You ended up with teaching a moral to the story. That is indeed very well done. -
Thanks Tears,and Kids. So glad you all enjoyed it.I had fun writing it too! Tell it around that camp fire in a crypt keepers voice. That's what I was thinking as I wrote it.Love to be there myself. Adore ghost stories!~~Suseann
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Frist of all congratulations to you
The older kids really had a great time reading this and one of the older one has decided to dress somewhat like the picture
and take the task of reading this by the bomb-fire.. It was a joy listening to him read this as he changed his voice..
Thanks for making this a great contest and a great time for the kids.. bravo to you
Tears -
You are a great little teller of horror stories. Great picture to go with it. Best wishes in the contest.
Sam
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Whoa... I'm still shaking the shivers off on this one.Great work here! I loved it! Good Luck in the contest and best wishes! Thanks for entering this fine work of art!
~Frog -
aah this one gave me shivers...
He knows just how to make you jolt-
and sees innocents as fair game.
He is the powerful black magic bolt-
destroying your soul in flames. brrrrrrrr once again thank you for entering this contest
TEars
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Great poem. Congratulations on your trophy! I really liked the rhyme of "covet" with "love it".
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My girl Suseann got the GOLD!!! YES, this was my favorite! Many hugs sweetie,most deserved!!!!!!!! Standing ovation!!!! BRAVO!!!!!! Much love, Annie Whistles clapping hands!!!!!!
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Beautifuly dark indeed, I love it. I am lured in by the awesome idea of this poem and the gorgious imagery and rhyming. the rhyming pattern is symple, yetbeautiful as it is. thank you for entering, and I wish you the best of luck!
lolo -
Are you addressing vampires about a worser evil or some kind of master. I am unclear on that and who the evil one is. It does read like one of Grimms tales. I thought it might be for children.
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I just had to read this one again. Well done on this and congratulations on that trophy!!! WhoooHOOOO!
~Lyrical
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Thought I would come back to give this another applause and standing ovation
All the best sweet one, Annie
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Interesting write. I think it would work best at Halloween. You can have a reading and dress up as a witch with a black hat and a feisty black cat.
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grand
This poem is an example of your mastery over the imagery and words that suit like blocks in a child's game! -
ohhhh bravo! Very well spun, it has quite the chilling edge to it, flowed wonderfully and was a true pleasure to read. Fantastic job on this piece! Blessings, Gypsy
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ooooh...I like! I will admit, I got chills. You were the first to enter my contest...thanks! I'm glad to see that it's off to a good start! Good luck! -shiz
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Suseann, I LOVE IT! AWESOME, ten times over, a superior job at writing, EXCELLENT! I was in awe by the words, thought of the boogy man, lol... what nightmares are made of... absolutely amazing... Much love, Annie
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I liked this. I liked it a lot. It was very creepy. Sorry I didn't respond right away. I can picture what's going on in my head when I read this and the picture was kind of scary too. Did you find that one or do you have you use it in the contest? I'd applaud but I have no more left.
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I loved the sheer horror put forth. I agree with Queen Of DE-Nile on the fireside story part. Your word choice brought forth the necessary haunting appeal amazingly.
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I'm blown away with this. Its really good, I am amazed how well you write. This is truely fascinating.
-Maz- -
You do the mystical writes really well. I think this may be your forte
Very well done suseann. Creepy, but well done 
~Lyrical
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