I want to be your cardiologist. Clearing your valves and arteries of past relationships that could cause an attack. Performing open-heart surgery on a heart broken form the inside out. I want to fill the four chambers of your heart with earth, wind, fire, and the reasons. The reasons why I want to be with you for four seasons. Giving you a blood transfusion of yesterday’s love with tomorrow’s passion. Allowing my love to surf on red and white blood cells that circulate through your body from head to toe. Two-stepping to a two-beat rhythm that the hear plays repeatedly. Heartbeat, eyes connect, heartbeat bodies touch, heartbeat, lips lock, heartbeat, heartbeat, harder beat.
Giving us both a triple-bypass. Bypassing gossip the pork of relationships. Bypassing rumors that cover the heart like acid and gives heartburn. Bypassing drama, the high blood pressure implanted by outsiders trying to cut our future. Stuck on stupid. When I first saw you my heart murmured. A murmur of low to no sound because I was at a loss for words during our introduction.
Struck by cupid, my heart skipped a beat. Baring the mark of a three-foot, blond haired, white man in a sheet, but I thank him. I thank him because his arrow didn’t hit me in the heart, it hit me in the head. The best place it could have hit me because now my every thought is you. Now my dreams are for the affection of your heart. When I meditate I see only you, Queen of Hearts. Thinking of something new so you never have a change of heart. Constantly reminiscing on your nine-month journey to childbirth- you’ve got heart. A heartbeat away from losing you. So I take no second for granted.
Giving up fast foods, fried relationships that are bad for the heart. Turning my taste buds away from game that’s cooked and fattening. I’ve taken the doctor’s advice to live a healthy love life. My love is baked only now. Exercising my love with honesty, cooperation, and trust for a better relationship; that’s what’s good for the heart. Never could a flat-line stop my love to you. Angels by our side making sure our love has a pulse. God’s pacemaker keeping us away from sin, Satan’s disease. I want to be your doctor, protecting your heart with my life. So I ask you, can I be your cardiologist?
Author notes
Donovan
A contest entry
- Looking for an AP husband by Shantalina.
350 points, ended February 14, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewrite EVER! by love tank x.
650 points, ended May 1, 2007, 43 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inkwell Prewrite Contest by SurelyWritten.
1500 points, ended May 23, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a lot of poems... by love my jose luis.
900 points, ended February 21, 2008, 125 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Freeform writers-I want 3 of your favourite poems by acari27.
380 points, ended February 18, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - that don't impress me much by j-ay rose.
600 points, ended April 9, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Excelent
Even tho this was not written about me it still stops my heart every time I read it. You are GREAT at writting poems and expressing your feelings. I miss you and can't wait to see you soon.
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I love that poem.
Hey Babe, I love that poem soooooooo much. You are very creative. You can be my cardiologist. -
aww nice poem, good luck in the contest, and congrats on silver for the one.
stephanie =) -
This was really hard for me to read through because of how it is written out... Maybe you should think about how to make the layout a little easier to read... Just a thought... Thank you for your entry and good luck.
~Maria -
LOL This is so interesting. I have never read a write quite like this before. I don't know whether to intake it metaphorically or seriously. Either way, I loved the advice and personal experience you added in here. Just a touch of cleverness as well adds to the overall outcome.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
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I'm in love with this piece; it's amazing. Aaand that's why you won silver in my contest I held back in May
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This is interesting, and very different. I like the cardiologist line...its like a pick up line...lol. Good write...thanks for entering!
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First of all, thank you for entering my contest. I really appreciate it, and I wish you the best!
Loved it. marvelously written! -
Wow, your very good at giving words a different meaning and twisting the words to fit exactly into your piece. This piece shows alot of skill.
The use of 'bypassing rumors, gossip... etc.' was really great. I liked that alot.
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Simply fabulous!
I loved it! This is very passionate, and it kept me and held me with a greater and greater interest... Simple yet intelligent, and a devotional, one that will remain in my heart, to be, ever relevant... I just simply loved it...
~ James ~
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Jeez, what a medical love report! Lol, I loved the way you made everything an analogy and made it clear that you love the girl you're talking about. This was very interesting and kept me reading and the set up was great. Nice piece.
- Cait -
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Thank you for entering my contest!
this was a really cool idea and is quite similiar to something ive been throwing around for a while, i want to thank you for entering this. why was line breaks and a more cut down style not used? -
Interesting!
This piece is rich in metaphor and simile! I love the correlation of doctor to keep safe the heart you adore. Very unique and original. If you'd like a more in depth critique or any advice, please feel free to post this piece to the Inkwell group board.
Well done!
~Lori
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You know how much I love this poem I wish that I could just write something so beautiful because it is one of the best poems I have ever read..!
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