Remembering rain in our eyes (with p b without the j)

he left me alone
during my last two-umbrella party
and now it was
a one-umbrella party
but a party alone
isn't really a party at all
and we were going to bring
on the rain
with our umbrellas
and our abstract rain dance
you looked silly
chanting in tongues made up
and flowing

a blind picasso had painted me
~us~
within a raindrop

but you still looked
like a god
an unreachable one

and now
the sky was too heavy for my shoulders
and i knelt down
like i wasn't crying
but the rainbow roses that
looked so beautiful before
admitted to me
it was only a dream
a ritzy, bottled-up genie dream
it was amazing when it lasted

and as i slept
i realized everything was nothing but a stupid
seek-and-hide
smelling like a flirting waltz
with my ideal clown
that had born my face
one winter

it was a blue christmas
that we'd never believed in
and i used to wear that
boring
silken dress
that made your arms seem warm

no matter how cold your red stone was

and i was afraid to stop the clock again
because i would have had
to watch the rain
over again

now go catch your train
before i run to you and admit
every single wrong thing
i've ever done
before your eyes see
right through my
yummy
lucky charm covered soul
sinking down to the bottom is a
refreshing cleansing of
dirt from
the bottomless pit of
the lack of grammatical correctness
which you always
chided me for

but please
go catch your train
before i catch a whiff of your majesty
again
and seemingly melt in a
puddle of unsupervised nonsense
but it seems like
i already have
without knowing it

and i might seem crazy
but that's alright with me
the rainbow umbrella
still sits
expectantly
living for tomorrow
isn't the same as living for today
and maybe if everything was backwards
it would make more sense
than sipping pasta noodles
off my plate of grandeur
but don't forget to pass the
cream cheese

that's because we may have replied to the right gods
with wrong scripts
since we played with stars in egypt,
we were only children

we both may have been wrong
in our rain contemplation

but i'll never admit it