by ~Gregg Rowe~
I’ve walked these cold and crisp- blanketed lands,
And whispered secrets with the silent dead:
For my family members tears I’ve shed --
And I have watched youth temples turn to sand;
As they laid dying -- I have held their hand,
Where I’ve cradled them on hospital beds --
Life scissors’ laws justify cutting threads,
This heart of mine embraces their last strand.
white sheets cover land
protects children of the past
my resting place I crown
I see it daily taking my life’s strolls --
And in my end and only by G-d’s grace:
With death I’ve walked and in tow was my soul,
Two roads crossed always leads me to my place:
Each second, minute - the exacting toll,
My final bed, my final resting space.
Author notes
Option 3
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Photo compliments of the very talented and beautiful Lea
allshadesofgrey.deviantart.com/
Gregorian Sonnaiku (How To Write This New Form—Learning Column)
allpoetry.com/Column/1043872
Please do not use the background on this page unless it is specifically for a ' The Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt ' poem or writing.
The Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt
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Written May 30th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Enter, and see what I have to offer! by tightropewalkoflife.
425 points, ended March 3, 2006, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Family by Suberu14.
390 points, ended July 30, 2007, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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wow, this was beautifully writen- a very peacefull look at the time when we all must die.
It flowed very nicely; my fave lines where:"And whispered secrets with the silent dead":"As they laid dying -- I have held their hand," and "white sheets cover land
protects children of the past
my resting place I crown"
Beautiful write- Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest!
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I have sat here and read this poem three times now,
each time going further into its reality,
the stage where metaphor lives
in its own present space and time,
the time extending back through years
and projecting into (what we all share)
an unknown length of future,
a future that holds no fear,
for we leave all pain and distress behind.
Reading this led to widespread contemplation
and acceptance of what in my case
could too easily be in the immediate future.
My dad died at age 59 of a massive stroke.
I have had two strokes with better medical care,
but I am 75.
I have already outlived myself.
These thoughts of the value we place on life
have been well outside my daily fare.
I am a senior, but not as so many others are,
blandly dozing, rocking in a rocking chair
waiting for time to pass So I may also go.
There is far too much to do, so much left undone.
So much to share, so much to share in, so
much to remember and to anticipate.
Too many still need me.
Gregg, you have a special magic in reaching where we live;
your works trigger thought, otherwise unlikely to be found.
I emerge from the other side, slightly wiser perhaps, calm,
knowing we are all here for a limited time, and that this
is not all there is for us to know.
May blessings flow.
Thank you,
Terry -
This poem has received a critique in my other contest.
http://allpoetry.com/Contest/1323893 -
we all are headed to stones marking our final bedding down on this earth, souls flung like pebbles across the ripples of time, all that remains are remains, wrapped in silk lined boxes, as bones tumble and jaws fall agape, ivory remnants of a souls prison dismantled.....somewhere on the other side we will all chuckle at our interpertations of the passing, and realize how little we actually knew, and be extremely glad for the fact....good write..Artis
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You certainly took on a different approach and it IS full of compassion. I didn't find this to be gloomy either - very passionately written and emotionally driven. The rhymes were done well and not forced at all.
Thanks for entering.
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I disagree with Ekere, this is not gloomy...it is reflective and caring. IT speaks to me of the love you have shared, and continue to share with your family, your friends who have suffered so much. The courage it takes to stand by and comfort, making sure noone is alone. If all of us could be so compassionate, the world would be a much better place.
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With death I’ve walked and in tow was my soul
That is the one line that spoke so loud in all of this to me. It seems as though there are many who feel they walk each day with death, and I know that you do. It was a beautiful write, showing how you have lost many of those that you love through something that many don't understand
I hope you find peace when you do finally rest. Until then be a good wench ok?
s and love
Shari -
Ekere: And life is one road to death from the second we are born, our destiny is death...it's what we do in between that will count. Gregg
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Emotional
A well written gloomy poem. When read over and over makes you feel life is just one road of death. -
A powerful message about the living from the dead. Remember the past but live for today as if there were no future. I was unfamiliar with the form so thanks for the link to additional information on it. Technically it's perfect but labored with a the rhythm of a few of the lines. Maybe that's just me. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
This is sad but beautifully penned... I can't comment on the technical side of it... haiku's also conforms 5/7/5 rule... wish I could write in iambic... overall ver good work...
mina -
This is a very beautiful and touching poem, great flow and use of words, great imagery.
And I have watched youth temples turn to sand;
As they laid dying -- I have held their hand,
Where I’ve cradled them on hospital beds --
Life scissors’ laws justify cutting threads,
This heart of mine embraces their last strand.
I loved these line very much, very much. Thanks for sharing this -
Nice write. There are definately some good imagery starting to take place here.
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Nice take on a subject most refuse to acknowledge. This piece has great imagery, and the choice of of words shows that you put lots of thought into it. I enjoyed, I'm glad I read it. Thank you. Peace
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