No sound of children's laughter now, no noise of running feet,
No whinny of delivering horse, nor sound of pet lamb's bleat.
No teacher with her big brass bell, no squeal of chalk on slate,
No more sums or spelling words, no poems to contemplate.
The chill wind moans through missing panes, the drab sky speaks of snow.
The rutted road would disappear if only grass would grow.
The tiny steeple’s empty now, its shingles loose and torn,
The absent sound of clanging bell is silent and forlorn.
The prairie grass is brown and short, a meal for wan’dring cows,
Where once it bent to children’s feet, no people pass by now.
The barbed wire fence that stretches by was not there in the past,
It tells the world the weathered school is now an aged outcast
Who has trod the ancient boards, passed through the missing door?
Prime Ministers or simple folk, the famous and the poor?
Were lessons learned within those walls that now let in the light?
The things the eager children sought to help tell wrong from right?
One more blast of howling wind sweeps low along the ground.
A gentle tapping from within, a haunting eerie sound.
Echos from the distant past, a ruler raps on wood,
Some frightened faces turn to look, the message understood.
In rev’rant awe I stand and look, and marvel at this place.
Maybe it’s the biting wind that’s caused my tear-stained face.
A simple weathered building that reminds me of the past,
And fills my soul with memories, the kind I know will last.
Author notes
I saw this abandoned school house in Alberta, Canada, when I was visiting my AP daughter, Sara (mitchybaby) there. It was along a part of the road covered by a sign that said, "NO SERVICES OR RESIDENCES - NEXT 137 KILOMETERS." Obviously things had changed since the school was there - or were the residences just out of sight? Caused me to wonder. It was cold and windy when I stopped there but it was truly fascinating to look - and think.
Written May 26th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Best Poet On AP!Round:1 by wakingdevil.
300 points, ended September 4, 2006, 55 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poet Laureate of all AP for the year 2007 Contest # 87 at The Winkler by Andantino.
875 points, ended January 12, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Search for the best AP Poet by wolfcub.
600 points, ended March 1, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Poetry Contest by Heavens Child.
800 points, ended April 29, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me by Arrianna MacEwan.
600 points, ended January 24, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 77 of 77
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delicious poetry, evocative and lovely.
I am a huge fan of soft long flowing lines and clearly so is the judge here as both silver and gold feature them, I am glad to have come second to this
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seems i missed the applauds...
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well done..depth of thought in the meanings of this experience, a thing we see, think about, then reflect on our own experiences...where we truly keep things...excellent...PK
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You plan on revising this poem?! Ok, I'll treat it as I'd treat my own...
Before clicking, and upon reading the title, my first notion was that this was going to be a "stranded-on-a-deserted-island" piece; then my thoughts turned darker- in a social sense- how we abandon others, "desert" them, and I am as guilty as any here, in fact, I thought the odds were good that it was about me deserting my acquaintances right here on AP! ...but no, you are addressing that other kind of "deserted"- those ghostly remnants of bygone peoples and times...
so, let's see what you've stressed here, the people or the times... (and great background story, it draws the reader in, and enhances the reality of the piece; and I'll assume that you took the photo yourself...)
so, why did this piece not win you the AP Poet Laureate honor- that is what I will have in mind when contemplating the constructives...
it is a stark and bare piece with a stark and bare title- both fitting, the form is much like the plain planks on the school house, and the verbiage the gusts of wind blowing in and around it- so my guess is that you probably lost out on flashiness- to dazzling pieces that say "wow and awe" (and usually not much else!)- those that employ audio and visual alliteration/consonant/assonant beautifications and cook up some chic metaphors and similes;
the deep-feeling intention is apparent during most of the write, and the reader is able to share it... reminds me of a Ted Kooser piece- writing about the fading aspects of a people and their land...
it is a lyrical piece, and at this moment I'm thinking that it needs a refrain...! (as crazy as that might sound)(and a deep, subdued, heartfelt refrain, of course, nothing too song-and-dancey...!)
It is a soft write, and you are at a disadvantage there- for our female counterparts are more practiced and adept at that style of delivery...
the story has no unique aspects that set it apart from its predecessors, other than you being in it at the end... now if there were a ghost you knew in there, your ghost...
last, I give you credit for trying to pin down your "best" piece- for I find it impossible in my case for two reasons- one, I write in too many different styles on too may different topics in too many different moods and voices and for too many different audiences to weed it down to one; and two, I believe I am one of those people who are terrible judges of their own work- I'd be proud of a large, esoteric piece that no one could ever understand, and poo-poo the small, simple pieces that others would no doubt love...
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This has such intense and powerful imagery all the way through it, perfect wording,
Your talent as a writer never seems to stop growing, nor ceases to amaze me,
Thankyou very much for this read,
It was truley a pleasure...
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Superb
A very fine write as usual, my friend. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine.
Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
It was very deep
i really liked it. the way described it gave me chill bumps. It is a perfect example of where Education is headed
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Great poetry pop! (smiles) This is wonderful, truly. The rhyme seems perfect which of course makes it flow like honey. You should publish a book
(I know you have.)
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I enjoyed the story of the poem and the way it was written is testament to a wonderful talent.
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love this
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This was amazing. It inspires me to do even better than I have before. You deserve to win this.I love the way evey line flows and rhymes.
Great job!
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I believe I have read this work before in one of my previous contests, yet still it takes my breath away. I relate to this poem in so many ways. A few miles from my dad's old farmhouse where I was born and raised, stands an abandoned little brick schoolhouse. Everytime we passed it when I was little I was reminded by my Father how my Great Grandmother walked to school every morning, snow or rain, and then back through the feilds, her entire life. I see that little oneroom schoolhouse in this picture. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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This is an awesome poem Daddy. It reminds me of my trip to St. Augustine, Florida to the school yard. Though the grass is still green and the school house is preserved and what not. This poem is wonderfully written. The words seemed to flow smoothly. Again, Great write.
Kayla Marie
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Well, it inspired something very profound and deep. Beautifully written. Great flow and rhyme. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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i love the poem
and i love the picture lots
=D
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I'M VERY SORRY BUT I HAVE POSTED THIS CONTEST TWICE. AS A RESULT, I AM GOING TO DELETE THIS COPY OF THE CONTEST (AS IT HAS FEWER ENTRIES). I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD RE-ENTER THIS POEM IN THE OTHER COPY OF THIS CONTEST.
THANKYOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR HELP! DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE. -
sentimental
I got very sentimental, when I read your poem ... and through your vivid and colorful imagery, you have rendered this old school-house alife again, at least in the etheric realm ... maybe your silent presence and attention offered to this deserted place has allowed some haunting spirits to regain freedom again ? who knows ...
a wonderful poem ...
the best of luck in the contest,
marion
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Oh wow, I really loved this. You captured the images in this very nicely. I felt like I was there and seeing what you saw. It's kind of sad though, but it's a part of history too. Really amazing when you see something that brings back memories, this made me think. Awesome write, love it.
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This is a very good poem. It reminds me, of course, of "In Schooldays", by John Greenleaf Whittier. I can't help wondering if you were doing a parody of that one? Anyway, it's a very good job you've done here.
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Moving
Sentiment of nastalgia so strong as to produce a lump in the throat. Ghosts of past vitality make a place seem sentient sometimes an emptiness is so much emptier when it once has been full. Beautifully done! Excellent job! Congrats on the well deserved gold!
HUGS!
DK -
This is a nice poem; all in all it flowed very nicely and the rhymes worked; some of them were especially good. In all, nice job.
--Jen -
As I have said before an excellent poem.Your sure to progress,Thanks for entering and best of luck
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The Goods
Dear Kirbysman,
I'm not often jealous of another person's things, but I'm making an exception after reading this. This is simply a beautiful
American poem. I hope more of America gets to read it!
John -
We have many of these type of buildings in the middle of nowhere here in AB - love taking pictures of these abandoned schools, bars, etc.. as I travel some of the back roads. Loved your take on this photo. Congratulations on winning gold in this contest.
Edited on Jun 03, 3:51 p.m. because ''. -
sooooooo nice that i think it will win ! best wishes !
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This reminds me of a small schoolhouse in West Virginia actually.. Beautiful picture and the portrait you painted with your words seemed to make it spring back to life somehow..;f
Take Care,
Rowan Tree -
Man... you really have a way with capturing a picture... the flow and rhyming is simply perfect in this.. as is the images you have placed within this lil mind of mine... I am more and more impressed with you... with each poem I read... I must say that you are outstanding... each piece has been brilliant, including this one...
just WOW! ~Melissa -
Wow, this is awesome! It is so touching, so sad...it leaves you kind of empty. You are a very talented poet. Thanks so much for sharing your work!
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Excellent
Excellent poem I really had a hard choice between choosing this poem and the poem which got bronze.This poem was really wonderful I liked the way you expressed your feelings so nicely
and it was a very enjoyable read. -
A masterpiece
Absolutely gorgeous. This is dripping with atmosphere, rich imagery, and melancholy nostalgia. A lot of my poems celebrate the past - probably an idealized version of the past to be more accurate - and I often wish we could have retained some of the old ways while growing in the ways we needed to.
Loved this and bookmarked it. Great work. The word "masterful" comes to mind.
Mark -
Excellent, a pleasure to read. Congratulations on winning! Marg
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Well done for placing 1st & winning Gold
This write deserves so much more!! La x
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This poem was very moving but written so well...
Keep up the good work
And never stop penning...
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I like this could you read some of my poems
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one of the best
now that is a poem
one of the very best thx for righting it for me to enjoy -
Wow your rhyme and rhythem are perfect, i love your poem
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Your description of the old school house is really moving. You write a perfect picture of the history and age of the place, the haunting and derelict feel.
Really wel written and insightful,
Polly -
Really moving peice, it does read like thoughts thought while looking at the building. The way its written puts the reader there, looking at the deserted building and feeling your emotions, a very well written piece. one of the best I have read on here.
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(speechless)
omgoodness, this was completely just breathetaking! you did a marvalous job! i think htat this is just incredible one of the best poems ever! great job friend keep this up and i know that you will go far, good luck and God bless!
Jaid
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wow
this poem was beautiful. it's rare to see rhyme so tastefully and well-done. Great piece. -
great
This poem has a ghostly, haunting quality to it. It just kind of seeps into your head and stays there, in the back of your mind. I think you did an incredible job with this. The rhythm worked really well, and the words invoked so many emotions. A great piece, all around. -
Amazing imagery...I wish I would have experienced a little red schoolhouse education...how lovely would that have been? What's so good about progress again?
Peace, Kelly -
This is incredible, so well written, so much emotion and the time and effort that it sounds like you put in must be outstanding. This spoke to the soul and made me remember my past.
In rev’rant awe I stand and look, and marvel at this place.
Maybe it’s the biting wind that’s caused my tear-stained face.
A simple weathered building that reminds me of the past,
And fills my soul with memories, the kind I know will last.
You ended it so well and it flowed and all and all. I have not the words. But thanx for this magnificent write, was worth the read. Gotta luv it. Thanx, bye. -
Wow. This poem is incredible. It's so vividly described, it's just stuck in my mind. My favorite lines are,
"The tiny steeple’s empty now, its shingles loose and torn,
The absent sound of clanging bell is silent and forlorn."
I haven't seen the word "forlorn" used in such a great while, I get excited whenever it is. (: Your style is exquisite and the poem is very fluid. This poem is not only worthy of my applause, but of winning that contest.
Good write, and I MUST see more work by you in the future, or I will die of being deprived of such great poetry.
Keep writing (PLEASE), Miji -
that was beautifully done.WOW. I really enjoyed that. this is not the typical poem i read.. but im glad i took the time to read this one.
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Written well.
Okay I clicked on this again and found it applause worthy so I am still reading this one again. It is worth more than just one look. So incredibly beautiful and written well. -
Another rhyming poem! These must be my lot today! I'm not a fan of rhyme, but I was surprised to see your rhymes are smooth flowing, the meter steady and thank goodness you didn't rhyme with the love/dove & too/blue simple sort of rhymes. You put effort into maintaining a consistency with your rhymes and I appreciate that. I have come across too many forced, unflowing rhyming poems and it makes me gag.
I love abandoned places. Schoolhouses, churches, homes...It is fascinating to look and ponder what ghosts still linger there and what tragic story happened in the past. Who were the people that once tread there? I love the topic and it was brought to life with your rhymes. You write rhyme well. And when I say that I mean it. (I rarely say it).
You have also convinced me to hold a contest for GOOD rhymers only to convince me that it can be done!
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Amazing poem and a wonderful thing you did. Remembering the forgotten, beautiful.
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WOW... This is an awesome picture Paul!!! It is so beautiful and the poem very beautifully matches it!!! Good luck in the contest!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
This is a very well-executed poem. It reminds me off an Australian poem "The old bush school", which begins: "It's a queer old battered landmark, that belongs to other years/with a dog-leg fence around it and its hat about its ears ..." I attended two schools - the second, where I spent my final year, I had the time of my life, and I often pay nostalgic visits there. The first, I only want to return to driving a bulldozer and throwing hand-grenades (In fact I had to go back there a few months ago, oddly enough, to get a medal, but I left as soon as possible). Anyway, I really enjoyed this piece, as I have much of your other poetry. Congratulations! It is evocative, successful and memorable.
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it's a great photo and a great poem...
I enjoyed both very much.
good luck in the contest,
~Lea -
I like this poem a lot. It is kindda eerie and sad. But you have written it so beautifully. I love the rhythm and the rhymes here. I read your author's notes and saw what inspired you in writing this. You seem to be a very sentimental man. Thank you for sharing this here. Ashley
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I agree with Country Cousin, this is a wonderfully haunting work. Great imagery and how very well you have done in your chosen words. My best. Jim
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Great write. It reminds me of the place and the house I was born, its now desserted. Reading your poems brought memories back. Thanks for sharing this.
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Oh my. No words... I just hope you'll take this stupified comment as a compliment, because I loved that beyond comprehension...
Edited on May 27, 7:16 p.m. because ''. -
Excellent presentation
You do an excellent job of bringing life to the photograph and capturing the wonderings of many a curious individual who comes across such relics of the past, trying to imagine them in their heyday. The imagery and sensory descriptions were outstanding - that, coupled with the mood of this piece, make it a favorite descriptive piece. -
this was a beautiful poem. so sad and yet so beautiful all at the same time. you have a talent for rhyming,none of it seemed forced. i am putting this on my bookmarks,as it is just amazing. good luck in the contest.
~Alex -
I used to live in what had once been a one room school house like that. The down stairs was divided into three rooms (living room, dining room, bedroom) to turn it into a house, and there was a kitchen and bath added, and the upstairs was just an attic, that was where my sister and I slept.
This feeling you esperienced is put so beautifully. You pull the reader in and I think you make us feel what you were feeling too.
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yikes this looks sppoky to me
yeh there are many deserted buidings
which makes us to think
as in what hapened in past
what went wrong
things get curious to know how the kingdom vanished
and a building in a lonely place seems more interesting
well about the poem
I liked each and every line
giving details
few words making an impact
written creatively
keep penning -
Fantastic
Fantastic. Full of emotions and images that brought the abandoned builing in the photo to life!! Great read. -
very haunting, it's very fitting for what you found for your inspiration to this piece.
the rhythm (sp?) and rhyme seem very natural in this piece. -
You are a talent. I stumbled across this and was amazed at your choice of rhyme. You write as well as I ever have and I can relate to your feelings as I have dozens of abandoned vehicle and building shots from around the USA. There is always a mystery about such places. Were they castles in the sand or hovels of the damned? Who was born, lived, played, aged, worked, loved and died in these remote shelters. Were they killed by Indians, civil war, robbers, sickness, unnatural child birth or old age. How interesting. But, how remote is the knowledge.
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Absolutely beautiful, really. I love the idea of taking something you've seen in passing and turning into something so beautiful. I'm not usually a fan of rhyme, but this read less like a rhyme because it wasn't forced and didnt make the rhyme obvios at all. I lvoe that. Good luck in the contest!
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a beautiful read
this is a beautiful poem it inspires a feeling of lonelyness in you if you read it and listen to the words thank you for a beautiful read
Vampriss of Night -
Haunting
This is still very awesome and haunting. -
Poignant and sad
This is another write that I want to come back to and read and yes I see churches abandoned here as well. I think that it is sad when a church is sold or closes because all its members are gone. You brought this out and I will be back to applaud -
amazing
its rare to come across a poem which rhymes and is fun to read... i loved the story... me being a saskatchewan boy witnesed this meny times... the decayin abandoned buildings are a fimiluar site... i loved this very much... the images projected... the great rhyme usage... the vocabulary... and the story... excellent stuff,... excellent job... have an excellent day..... -
You have my applause & oozles more respect (if that is possible), this write is perfection in itself. The imagery is amazing and I thank you for taking me there. Good luck in the contest. La x
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I have been in several old school houses, abandoned for a long time, and breathed the chalky dust of thier yesterdays ,and felt the presence of histories children, laughing and leaping and learning, only to vanish, and become a monument to what was, such as this old building you describe...."The bell tolls not for those who've passed, they've all move on to upper class, a place in heaven far above, where angels teach the gifts of love..Nice write~~~~~~artis
Edited on May 27, 8:28 because ''. -
i've come across a few buldings such as this where i live and i often wonder what past they hold.
you've captured those thoughts and imaginings with your worlds so very well and i'm highly impressed!
great poem, great rhyme, great picture inspiration! -
Wow, that brought back alot of memories Well done. I think we all have those places that have changed so much that we can't comprhend the reality of the change... we're still stuck in the past. Anyways, great job!- Angela
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To me this forms complexity found in simplicity. That such a simple place can possess such a wealth of images for your pen speaks well of your ability.
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Very interesting
You must love the look of these old structures. It shows as you invoke their ghost to draw it here to this page. This summoning process creates a life in the building. Have you explored other types of this architecural poetry? Might be something there, as this is very good. -
Daddy, I always knew you had an eye of a poet and this just proves that. You can see something as "ordinary" (as many teens would say) as an empty and abandoned lone school house and turn it into a masterpiece with your words and how you have captured it, both in mind and in photo. Great job! I loved this! I love that picture too!
Hugs
Jess -
this takes you far back into the past and just looking at it would provokes many thoughts,but there are few who would have been so adept at putting those thoughts into this brilliant write.you took a picture of a long ago place abandoned and useless and made me see the life that could have been there.i found my self seeing laurie ingalls running up to the door as the bell chimed,holding up her petticoats.your mind's eye is totally in focus and it is a delightful topper for your talent.
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This is just the sort of place I hunt down and love to visit! I take pics of old abandoned ghost towns, buildings and forgotten grave yards. I was totally taken with this poem and the haunting photo that accompanies it. A wonderful work.
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Awwww, Daddy, this is such a beautifully penned poem of the picture. I am sure a long time ago this school house was filled with all of the things that you have masterfully penned about. And I just love that black and white picture. Its so pretty and really adds the an extra pinch of emphasis of it being deserted. Nicely done. Good luck to you in your contest
Christina♥
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