For quite a while
I was suicidal
For while I sat
I thought of nothing but that
It won't help though
This I know
Death only never heals
and grieving never feels
I know now
That I can't do it
I know now,
though I've tried many times
I know now,
that killing my self will only hurt
I know now...
I know
I wish,
that I didn't know
I wish
you were still alive
I wish
that I could have stopped
I wish
you did not die
I wish
that I knew why
Your gone,
I'm still here
This wasn't supposed to happen
I was first
4 years, 4 deaths
I can't take it any more
Killing myself will numb me
But then,
I would be like you
But then,
they would blame myself
But then,
I would cause more grief
But then,
it would be 5 in 4
But then,
everyone would hate me just a bit
I've changed my way
that's all I wanted to say
I've changed my way
and I wish I could tell you that today...
Author notes
Some one who was like and Uncle to me committed Suicide two days ago, this is my way of honoring him...
Written May 26th, 2005
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Comments
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now that is powerful and real...it just's so real it tears you apart reading it...i've felt really down before to the point of wanting to die and....hmmmm....i think i realize that you have to try to get out of your skin for awhile and realize that life isn't always going to be doom and gloom even though you feel like there is nothing else life can be many things heaven and hell and it sounds like you been living in the dungeon for too long,,,,spring is here and summer is coming,,,,life is a gift even though it feels like a back handed slap sometimes,,,keep trucking soilder
