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Living Water (Haiku)




Torrent shudders rocks
river rushes spring along
still calm lake reflects.






Author notes

comment on: Demons
Written May 25th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Whispers79
    June 25, 2005
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    Beautiful - you have a love affair with all of nature and I with the water....this is just perfection...sometimes haiku's can be vague...but this is very complete...and I love it! Thanks so much for sharing!
    Tisha

  • Pari Ali
    June 9, 2005
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    so many images to take in, so much said in a few words, I liked this one a lot too.


  • cake
    May 25, 2005
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    This is a very good haiku and I think very traditional.
    The imagery of running waters and placid lake is very vivid. cake


  • Kendall Campbell
    May 25, 2005
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    Great imagery , i liked how it went from this raging river to a calm lake. It could even be used as a metaphor for ourselves. Well done. Best of luck in the contest, take care and God bless.


  • SimplyTheTruth
    May 25, 2005
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    Wow, this is one of the reason I love reading haikus. You have to paint a brilliant picture in my mind's eye in just 17 syllables. great job.


  • cutiepie gold member
    May 25, 2005
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    Lovely

    This was very enjoyable..I find this form very peaceful and when water is introduced into the haiku, it makes it very special

  • bassclarinetbuddy92
    May 25, 2005
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    good

    Wow, I have never really liked writing haikus, but this one really hits the spot. You paint the readers such a picture in just three lines. Good job.


  • Danna Hobart
    May 25, 2005
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    Lovely haiku I can see it all. I have always been awed by the power and patience of water. We build dams to hold it back, but we can't hold it back forever, it eventually finds its way over, under, around, ot through anything in its way... It can take centuries, but water doesn't worry about how long it takes... it is eternal.


  • AmethystRose
    May 25, 2005
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    aww i love haikus there so short yet incredibly powerful. However, I'm no good at them! I love this, the words really bring it to life

  • jeaneileen
    May 25, 2005
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    I like the way you use your words, leaving the reader to use the imagination, seeing the rough waters finally calming at the end. Good use of the 5-7-5 syllable rule for traditional Haiku! Thanks for sharing!


  • stainedillusion
    May 25, 2005
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    i like the perfection in the ending of your poem!! the poem in itself is very calming, and relaxing. it's very well written.x

1 - 11 of 11