Too many trips to the Carolinas
the trees on the ridge tops
turn their backs at my passage,
rolling through the hairpins
with the lights out on the old Buick,
sawing away with the emergency brake
on the downhill side,
and slide
cause John Law
always got a new car
and ain't wrapped up in Lisa's eyes,
like a houndog on a tree chain.
make the dollar in my pocket two
too many Lisas,
too many changing eyes
it's always just another rock
lying on an everchanging road,
Sometimes I just let the wheel go,
but I always catch it just in time,
mostly cause of Lisa's eyes
and the way she smiles
when I come home.
Author notes
Written May 22nd, 2005
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Great poem. You take the reader on your journey. Brilliant!
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I really liked this poem. It was touching and it made me laugh. It's cute. Nice job!
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This is so cute. It is very unique keep up the writting.
Thanks for sharing
~OctoberRain~ -
This is a really interesting write. It flows very well, and I liked the emotion that you put into it. Kind of sounds like a song to me. Wonderful job, and keep up the good writes.
~Morbid[♥] -
I caan only echo the comments of others. this was a great write it flowed like a river well done
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this poem is really good.
i really like the last 5 lines.
great job -
I strive to write like this .. unhampered and easy. I get pictures in my head and ..
well I don't have the words to describe it. See? LOL -
those eyes ! what all they can make a man do,be satan n God in one look
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The end bit's a bit of a smack in the belly, oh well, as long as you catch it just in time I suppose. Blergh.
Hey
You said "mostly" hooorray. Get on.
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This is kinda cool.
Last time I let the wheel go I crashed and I'm a bloody mess so I'm not divin' no more. Oh well... everchanging roads make for an interesting life.
Desiree -
"it's alway just another rock" ...think you forgot the "s" for "always"...unless you are being poetic in a way i am just not getting here
love the image of the trees turning their backs on you...the biggest image in the poem to strike me...
yeah, life can feel like zinging down a hill with no brakes...especially when the person in the passenger seat keeps changing faces...a gemini perhaps?
sometimes, yeah...letting go of the wheel and letting it all crash and burn can be oh-so-very-tempting...been there, felt that...but damn, if there ain't something sometimes in their eyes...in their smile...in the way they want and need...that can make one grab hold of the wheel at the last second...and save the day (that's what mighty mouse would do )
anyway...liked this...felt like the slide really does...when it is in motion...i have never figured out how to stop them once they pick up speed for real though...usually just end up hitting a tree full out...or maybe i intentionally crash the car...
don't know if i've even figured that out yet...lol
gotta keep on my toes when reading the L-Man! hahaha
UB
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well, I do believe lute has nailed it.... and I don't know if it's the 'changing eyes' or the carolinas that does it to me...
I'm realizing why I leave ap for spells.. people make me feel too much in this damn place.. lol. -
I wanted to comment and say something witty and encouraging and helpful. But sadly this is all I can come up with: I liked it a lot.
~Scarlet -
Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. It's kind of the surreal sadness you have right after a breakup and you're driving and singing all the sad songs on the radio and crying... Driving right into the sunset. Okay then. Fuck this state of mind I am in. Sorry about that. It really is a fucking awesome poem. Write on. ~*~SpydurPoet~*~
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Lute can write Love poems now....and sentimental much better than apocolpytic .. I say. Damn pretty too.
I'm smiling too just cause I can & hope you don't mind but its too late for me to change my name now.
Keep writing .. and working on that flow ..
Lisa
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