inner rain
dead for that one instant
when I lived by your law
~ metaphor ~
but now,
with new sparkles within my tired eyes,
still bleeding that same empty scream
for I have lost this crimson game,
worn out, deadly alive,
it’s the card game I only win
in those evenings
when I witness
your imaginary world
(maybe I was wrong too)
an invitation to go again
to this fortune-teller,
asking her to read my stars,
I’ll divine the wrong feeling once more,
read between the lines that
others have written
while you were crying,
inner storm
my palm is clean no longer, madam, give me your overdose to read
a star has risen,
please let me have the honors:
watch my nightfall.
May 12, 2005
Author notes
I'm talking about p b without the j here. She's a great writer. I don't know why, but her writes always amaze me. With this I remembered about her first poem I read I read and it's also kind opf personal. I can't edit my poetry to make a book now, I simply can't concentrate anymore because of my personal problems, but she writes great and I think she could do it if she were me. If that explains anything... I hope she likes it if she sees it 
I commented on more of her work, but since I have to mention one or two... 'An ode to my fallen childhood' Oh, and I think I should say about 'An ode to Diana', which is the first poem by her that I ever read.
Hmmm... now is it just me or is this author's comment getting way longer than the poem? 
Written May 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Write a Poem for the One and Only... by Axelle Black.
400 points, ended August 30, 2005, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Alarming? I liked that... thank you for the comment.
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She's quite something isn't she?
but this... Axelle is so right... the metaphor for your feelings is almost alarming in its intensity...
You do her a great justice... excellent work...
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Yeah, as you had said, it seems really personal. I don't think I'll ever quite grasp the entire meaning of this though I really liked it. Some parts I understood, or rather I could relate to. My favourite part was this: "my palm is clean no longer, madam, give me your overdose to read." How well you described her work, an "overdose." Anyway, I also liked that this was rather... metaphorical. You used a lot of symbolism while still expressing what you feel about her. And well you made her cry now, and I agree that this is very good. Thank you very much for your entry
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Someday?? I'm SO bookmarking this.
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Hmmm... I didn't want to make you cry >
< Thanks for your applause. I was hoping you'd read it someday...
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Awwwwww, you're making me cry.
Seriously, this time I am NOT kidding.
YOU'RE SO AWESOME!!!!
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This is good, i mean very good. i really enjoyed it. i wanted to keep reading but there was a problem, it ended. any hoo, good job. you have a real knack for this. this is why you are on my favs. loved it. good job.
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A+
Really well written, very moving and fluid. Good luck to you.
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
5 old applause
