My mind oozes poetry
and the words become salve
covering old wounds
that have festered and bled
for far too long.
I wrap myself in the pages,
bandages, etched
with years of abuse
and stained
with my own tears.
My mind oozes poetry
as we lay together on the sheets.
Your hands seep comfort;
gently peeling away the layers
baring truths
and uncovering sores
for which I have no words.
They speak a language all their own
conversing in measures
I have never fathomed.
With each touch, each stroke,
I find solace;
I become healed.
My mind oozes poetry.
My body is yours.
Copyright Ruth Kephart
Author notes
Written May 22nd, 2005
A contest entry
- Open Wounds by Eugene Cash Hensley.
700 points, ended November 26, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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Wonderful
'They speak a language all their own
conversing in measures
I have never fathomed.
With each touch, each stroke,
I find solace;
I become healed.'
The laying on of hands. Isn't it a miracle how others can heal our souls? A wonderful poem!
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Well ed, thank you for that insightful critique but I have to beg to differ with you on that one ( being a nurse and all). One does not ooze sputum (otherwise known as phlem or in the younger generation hockers) one coughs or spits it up rather than oozing it.
Ruth -
Lol .. Ed.
Thank you for entering. You've made me contemplate the use of the word "ooze" in poetry.
Lisa
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My face oozes sputum.
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hmmm ruth I think I am going to have to find something other then love poems of yours to read cause all I say is you write them so well always so soft, caring and gentle yet with a heart and soul filled with passion i envy you everytime I read these poems great job
love and light
blaze -
Great images! I like your choice of words, and it really put me on a level where I could feel where you were and the state of your mind! I like the whole thing about wrapping yourself in the sheets/pages! So much more I could say, but I will end by saying, very good job, nice write, and good luck in my contest!
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Such a great metaphor running throughout this piece. Both stanzas were very strong and you chose your words well to carry us through each verse.
I wonder if you really need the last two verses, though the contrast is noted as to ending on that physical level. Part of me really likes that ending, but I also could picture this piece ending with just that last verse of the second stanza.
Really a great piece though. There was a great continuity throughout the verses and I could appreciate the sort of history that it lends to the idea of how long many of the ideas sit within before we purge them through our words. -
This is a strong contender for just about anything. This is a great composed work of love and passion Thank you for sharing!
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oh my I really like this. I felt this was going in one direction right down a path that I know all to well then you threw me a curve ball with the second half. I can see how the emotion cause one to think it verse. It has happened to me before too. Very well written. enjoyed it a lot. Nice form and structure. Thanks for sharing
God bless
Tammy -
Beautifully done, good luck in the contest! I love the way you approached the idea that writing is a way to heal the scars and aches that life gives.
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I have spotlighted your poem, early this evening, and will judge to entries late this evening.
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i thought i have already commented on this the first time,so sorry for not leaving a trace of how awed i am by this poem. this makes the writing,so sensual.a peeling of layers,until there is only the naked truth.i liked the way you said it,"the words become salve"...the balm for open and hidden wounds.
magnificent poem. -
Wonderful, I just love those words 'My mind oozes poetry' and the repetition of them really makes the poem. You make poetry sound like a living, breathing entity and it is.
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My muse, while unscathed, is immortal, unlike me...and I have garnered my share of bruises, contusions, and scars. The image of festering wounds relates to the sorrow and pain I have dealt with from being abused and abandoned, and the unwrapping of bandages by someone kindles a slight (for me, anyway) hope in love and the comfort thereof. Love (or, rather, the lack thereof) is actually responsible for many of the scars I bear today, which is why I shun any notion of it before the flame has a chance to grow into an inferno. But, I can relate...the obsidian blood of my muse is still flowing, after all.
I think this is absolutely fabulous. All the best to you in the contest!
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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Very well done
This is very good Ruth and you are definetly being true to your style. Very well done. -
terrific
Beautiful. Great images. Great write. I closed my eyes and could feel the tenderness. Ter-r-rific -
well written
awesome, my mind does that as well, and i adore poetry, just shows that you do as well. -
Wow.....
Beautifully written. There is so much meaning in each line that it overflows with the emotions poured into it. I love the imagery and how every line flows. Good work, and I hope you win the contest! -
Poetry is like a balm to my soul, with it i can release old hurts and dream new things. Awesome poem
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Hi, I was sure I had done a critique on this,? fantastic write it has to be a winner, hugs Di
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sooo much better than my entry. blows mine out of the water, really.
bravo. -
Oh, my goodness, this is such wonderful poetry....such beautiful evocative words. I hear much of what I used to write more of in this poem. I was healed, from many things, by my ability to write what the mouth could not form. When I feel things rear their ugly heads, I squelch them by spewing them out where they have no power over me. This is an amazingly beautiful, soul-searching, (and perhaps, triggaring, for some) poem. I applaud you dear allpoetry sister of mine!
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Excellent
I love the symbolism involved with this--with the unwrapping of layers, as well as with poetry as the salve and pages as the bandages. The "sores for which I have no words" is an excellent extension for this as well. Clever!
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wow very nice...i thought at first it was just going to be one of those writers block rants we all have from time to time...but this is much much more....i like the whole 'uncovering' aspect...because it can be taken sensually or philsophically
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Breathtaking
...The words become slave. Very powerful write. I like this a lot actually. Espically the first Stanza:
My mind oozes poetry
and the words become salve
covering old wounds
that have festered and bled
for far too long.
I wrap myself in the pages,
bandages, etched
with years of abuse
and stained
with my own tears.
The whole tears aspect really sells it. Great write. -
My Mind Oozes Poetry, a very fitting name for this piece and I'm sure touches many poets. The bandages of rhyme and rhythm, meter, prose and freeverse are for me, the best bandages for healing innerwounds. When you have someone to help put those bandages on, it's all the better. Great job on this.
~Lyrical
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This would make a very excellent beat poem. I can just imagine being wrapped up in the bindings and slowly healed by some gentle touch. It's wonderful image. I look forward to seeing more of you!
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Brilliant
This is so amazing, perhaps the best I've read at AP. This poem talked to me. It is filled with images of tenderness and pain, each almost becoming a part of one another. You have done Shewolfnative proud with this oozing...it literally drips from the page...Peace Muddy -
Interesting way to lead the audience down an unexpected path. One would expect this peice to be about writing , but yet comes off more as a peice about trusting and being inspired. Accurate descriptions of painful wounds.
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beautiful
this is fantastic - really good imagery! i found the bits about them speaking a language all of their own especially moving. it was simply beautiful
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a great ending to a great write...the last two lines just cinch the entire write with a feeling of trust and healing as we surrender to someone that heals us . Best wishes in the contest,
Reenie
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Ruth, your poem could have been about me and my wounds. I felt uncovered as I read your words and only lately has my healing startd. You are a wonder to behold. I love your work. My best to you in this contest.
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i like this. i can almost feel this as beat. its a great write, keep it up!
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wow - that was better than i expected from the title - you write beautifully. I lvoe the ideas in the 1st stanza, just incredible.and i love the last couplet, deliciously intimate. I wish you every success with the contest, i'm sure you will do well - you deserve recognition for this.
pinkxxx
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