I’ve seen the City of Angels struck with pain,
her superstructures shattered from the sky,
her creatures flashed to shadows etched in stone.
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones,
screams vaporized to whispers in the throat
as burning cinders burst from countless frames.
Cloudscapes dissipated from the air;
a ruthless ring of fire seared the land,
her superstructures shattered from the sky.
Shrieks of terror sizzled on melting lips,
reduced to coals that sputtered in the heart;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
to bubble with the asphalt on the ground
beside the scorched remains of human forms;
a ruthless ring of fire seared the land,
blasting through neighborhoods and urban woods,
consuming all who ran or hid their face
as burning cinders burst from countless frames.
Cars twisted into myriad molten shapes;
the charred debris of towers rained down slag
beside the scorched remains of human forms.
Mothers pressed small babies to their ribs
which turned to embers in their futile arms;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
of fathers bent in vain across their young,
cremated by a lethal burst of light;
the charred debris of towers rained down slag
throughout the ardent ruins of brick and steel
where dead ambitions fumed upon their backs
as burning cinders burst from countless frames.
How could I smoke such visions from my mind?
I’ve seen the City of Angels struck with pain,
cremated by a lethal burst of light,
her creatures flashed to shadows etched in stone.
Don’t try to tell me these are merely dreams,
just troubled thoughts that haunt my sleeping brain;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
as burning cinders burst from countless frames.
Author notes
this poem is inspired by a series of dreams i've had throughout my life. the dreams started when i was 12 years old and have never stopped. though they were quite frequent in the beginning as a 12 year old, these days i only have 2 to 4 such dreams a year. the dreams have always been exceptionally vivid and they feel precognitive in nature...
to learn more about the hybridanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/1086828/all=1
Written May 16th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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inspiring.....
I have seen in several places where you have mentioned dreams like this.... the flesh coming off the bone sounds like radiation..... I have read Revelations several times and all these things according to my beliefs will come to pass....
Other wise I would be like "cool poem dude!" and go on about my night but these things will happen.... maybe not in this order but they will happen.... in the Bible someone who receives dreams is considered blessed by God and is to share them like you have done....
Inspiring write.....
KAY -
I have to say that this is an amazing piece of work. I will comment on your talent as I can say I haven't read anything comparable to this for a long time on AP. I read about this type of poetry from the link you posted and find it very interesting although, I don't think I could write in this style to save my life.
On to the topic of your dreams...I have had a few different reacurring dreams over the years that lasted for years and this one seems as dark as mine although as dark as it is, I still cannot escape the fear of the ones that I have had. I am a great believer that dreams are an extension of our subconcieous and sometimes I still try to anylize those dreams of the past and some of them I think were trapped fears and some of them were new beginnings. I just am glad that the worst of them plague me no longer.
Be Well and Be Blessed
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I still love this piece...
Lorena
(had to come by for another gander...) -
Dreams are reality in a haze, It is our soul crying out for freedom, Believe in dreams for they are our inner most thoughts letting us know we are still alive, I truly enjoyed this piece it was wonderful to meet someone who understands the importance of dreams and the effect it has on us everyday, great poem, can you check out my work and comment? I'd appreciate it so much my friend, keep the dreams alive, follow them until you free your soul!!
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ok..there are always poets on this site who make you so jealous, because their writing is just amazing, and leaves you in awe..then you look at your own poetry and think.."why can't i write like that?" Well i must say..i wish i had even half your talent.
This poem was so dark and vivid. It really lets ones imagination run rapid. Brilliant write!
~jenn~ -
Very vivid and impressive. I really enjoyed this piece. Good job. Dark and haunting.
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diana: it's my own little invention. i tried to provide some information about the hybridanelle in the link i provide under the authors comments. glad you enjoyed this piece.
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This is so nice and thought provoking. Usually, when I write form poetry, I do it just for fun, but this one has strong images and metaphors that prove form isn't necessarily a limitation. Loved it. Now I just need to know - did you create the hybridanelle, or is it a form you like?
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The form lends power to the content. This is a beautifully written poem, with vivid imagery and a brilliant rhythm. The graphic nature of the visions is handled very well. It isn't just gore. Your word choice makes all the difference.
"Shrieks of terror sizzled on melting lips"
That is bloody powerful,horrific and sooo vivid. The clarity and intelligence in this poem, are perfectly balanced with terror and despair. I want to say "beautiful" and "Lovely" but given the subject, it seems silly. "Kick Ass" is a bit trite (and slightly vulgar) but I think you are getting the piccy.
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very good
Your work is amazing -
Dude that was awesome. thats all i have to say.
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Wow...this has pretty much left me speechless...when reading it...it is so vivid to the imagination. Awesome write....I look forward in reading more of your writing.
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this is absolutely unbelievable amazing. i feel just speechless, and im sure this is something you might not like to hear, or maybe it is, but i feel as if im standing in the presence of greatness. even though im not actually standing in your presence, but thats not the point. i cant even think of anything more to say. ive never felt so happy to share a name with someone.
thank you.
~*~*Erin (Rineai)*~*~ -
it's a poem about something blowing up. you asked if i have any video of something blowing up. this is a word-video.
well i study grammar as part of my study of poetry and poetics. you may have heard it said: if you can't say what you mean, you'll never mean what you say. english is fascinating to me.
as for 'bad poetry'. i just had a small run through a few of your posts to see what you consider "good poetry" to be (every poet seems to feel that whatever he or she writes is "good poetry"), and, i can clearly see why you feel this is "bad poetry". this doesn't cater directly to your world view or look like the stuff you write that you want to call poetry, hence it's "bad poetry". a lot of people take this approach in assessing a poem's value. -
Yeah, but grammar is an inherent function of things contained within the language itself. It's to self serving to be any fun. Grammar is not etymology, nor, I don't tend to think that grammatical functions are based in society in the fun way.
And i said 'things blowing up,' not 'bad poetry.' -
great poem, astounding talent, superb write. the dreams are a bit disturbing as im sure you feel is an understatment. i love dreaming myself and hope that you have as many wonderful vivid dreams as you do these sort as many dreamers i know do. do you still live in the los angeles area by chance? i think if i were you i would move, the possibilties and dreams would be too much for me, though id feel i was paranoid. the style you used to express these visions with others is very cool, i like it a lot. obvious poetic skill. thanks for the write, i love hearing both poetry and peoples dreams, thank you. if you have other poems of dreams of yours id love to know which ones they are.
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I've had you on my favourites for a while and yet I seem to have drifted from your poetry. This poem, however, was magic. It reeled me right back in, slapped me round the face and demanded that I sit in awe and pay attention.
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Flawless
I`m a big fan of this kinda poetry, but nothing I`ve read ever comes close to this..absolutely beautiful -
Mothers pressed small babies to their ribs
which turned to embers in their futile arms;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
absolutely CHILLING. wow. thats SOME recurring nightmare.
I'm very impressed that you could take smething so haunting and create something like this from it.
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Excellent.. this poem is simply superb.. and teaches the hybrindale so very well... Would like to read more of ur works.. in new forms.. Well done.. Keep it up !!
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Coolness; better than a graphic novel. Damn. I have to read it again. Well done!
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Two thumbs up!!
Exquisite, magnificent truly a poignant masterpiece... Brava the imagery and flow are perfection... "Mothers pressed small babies to their ribs
which turned to embers in their futile arms;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
of fathers bent in vain across their young,
cremated by a lethal burst of light;
the charred debris of towers rained down slag" Brava!!! Two thumbs up Wishing you and yours much success in all of your endeavors
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Hello Erin,
I didn't look too close when I saw this in the feature box, and clicked more as a reaction to see what you had that was new...as it turns out, I am glad it was this one. I am beginning to see something in this write that may not have already been mentioned. You say you feel this was a precognitive dream of a devastation of the LA area, but if this began at age 12, I am quite convinced this is about relationships as much as anything. Keep in mind, I am making an assumption that you were just entering puberty when your Dad died rather suddenly at a time when you were at a pretty delicate stage for boys who are about to become young men. The strength and support you might have needed or at least expected was rather violently snatched away by devastating circumstance, and the events that followed were more fuel to the fire, so to speak. I am inclined to think this dream, especially since it involves you personally in various ways, may well arise from the "shock-learned" hatreds you may have been feeling, either openly or inwardly.
Just a few added thoughts and not meaning to sidetrack, just doing some more analytical rehashing.
Regards,
Del -
Wow!!!! this beauty in the eyes of the beholder. True vision is to be respected and hope this doesn't come true. Saddie23
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absolutely bitchin'!
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Wow. the imagery is amazing in this piece. You really picked the right line to repeat as well. It was my favorite. Awesome write. ---Nox
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Thumbs
This is an exceptional piece of poetry.
Thumbs up.
XoXo -
Excellent! Makes me think of anti-war sentiments. Was it really just nightmares? If so, you have interesting ones.
This is funny:
"I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones"
reminds me of a line that I've been playing with:
"Like butter from bones"
Mine was used in a completely different context, but I think it's interesting that we'd come up with similar images.
Excellent job, keep it up. -
Wow, this was pretty bone-chilling. Good insight and imagery, I really liked this.
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Great job! This was so....creepy, in a good sort of way. Very powerful. I liked the idea of writing about nightmares. I should try that sometime...
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SWEETNESS
MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! This is was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool:
Shrieks of terror sizzled on melting lips,
reduced to coals that sputtered in the heart;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
THAT'S AWESOME!! This was a kick a$$ write my friend. KEEP IT UP!!!! -
kind of frightening yet beautifully written. this is an awesome write. i loved it. so full of detail and great imagery and thats what makes you such a great writer. all of your other poems have kept me stuck on you. this was a great write. i enjoyed it so much.
peace and love
<3
-ashley -
mew: i think Nadir and DeBracey, at the least, have provided such psychological points of view above.
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Eh, I’m not sure that I would be able to sleep with dreams like that! It sounds to me like the end of the world. I personally believe that there is truth to dreams, and it kind of seems like you may think the same thing. Particularly in the last stanza. It seems as if you feel that these dreams are prophetic of the apocalypse, which who knows, they very well could be. The imagery is very intense. How could you possibly sleep at night? I guess maybe you have grown a little desensitized because you say you have had these dreams since you were 12. I wonder what someone with a more psychological point of view would think of this. I would imagine they would figure that you are a very disturbed man. *giggles* Have you ever seen LA for real? Or just in your dreams? I find the depth of your poetry interesting... I think I shall read the next in line. Dandy good stuff!
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this is a very well discriptive write tht flows so well and those pesky dreams for us dreamers ughh great job
love and light
blaze -
Masterpiece
WHoooaa, I wasn't quite feelin' it till about half way thru and you kicked in the repeating lines (or whenever i noticed them rather). That made it very very haunting. This is definitly a piece I wont forget anytime soon. =X -
With the repetition in these lines it almost reads lyrical. The dream sounds like a H-bomb explosion. Perhaps they are phophetic in nature. Wonderfully descriptive write.
Red -
WOW... this is very good and if you really think about it, quite scary. this piece is very good and i dont know if i could ever write such vivid and wonderful poems. you are a very talented poet and i love your work. Good job and keep writing...
,,,^..^,,, -
good thing i dont live on the west coast makes me anticipate spielbergs adaptation of war of the worlds, although i think there will be very little in the way of disturbingly graphic visual sequences. armageddon is something frequented by poets, and often, as you have done, writing the recurring thoughts out tends to ease the pain a bit. interesting form with the stanzas, although im not sure it added any particular effect to the overall image and thought the text provoked (nor does it detract). good work, penn on.
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LP: ... that we are heading in a dangerous direction
aye, i've had that feeling for a good long time. lol
your apostrophes have been turned into question marks
this is not happening in my browser. i don't actually use the spellcheck here--that's taken care of in Word before i paste the poem here. let me see if it happens in Explorer when i look at this page.
*checks*
nope, no question marks in place of apostrophes in explorer either. here's what i suggest. if you're using Explorer, click on the View menu, then under that click on Encoding, and make sure "Western European (Windows)" is selected. this will very likely turn the question marks back into apostrophes.
if you're using another browser, there should be a View/Encoding option in the menu and a similar selection ("Western (Windows-1252)" in Firefox) that should return your browsing experience to normal. -
P.S. Are you aware that for some reason your apostraphe's have been turned to question marks? The spell check on this site has done that, or similar things, to my writing before...
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Portentous and unsettling, but well worded
This is rather frightening. The images are vivid enough that one could feel as though they are right in front of you. I am not extremely familiar with the hybridanelle, however I think from what I'm reading here you've mastered the usage of the refrains quite well. I was impressed with the way the two were used in the last quatrain to wrap the entire piece up. This piece is frighteningly portentous, it brings to mind some sort of nuclear holocaust. Disturbing dreams to have at 12! Perhaps a warning to human kind that we are heading in a dangerous direction. Great piece here! Keep writing and God bless.
~Stefani~ -
A++
now what can i say about this write that no one else has? lol this piece shows AND gives great imaginative and describtive viewing of what is occuring ..very good -
fucking dark GREAT
man ive seen alot of some pplz tryin to be as dark as hell but damn u did it and i so damn belive you that is some creepy ass words u should be hella proud and i hope u is
Edited on May 26, 8:21 p.m. because 'i was bored'. -
Excellent
Very strong writing.
Great Job -
you are very poetic
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wow really nice job here...made me think of the song Los Angeles Is Burning by Bad Religion...not a very good song so its not a fair comparison to your poem...your fast paced style of writing here really adds to the aspect of the distressful mood in the poem
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that reminds me of a dream i had!!!! good write friend
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Don’t try to tell me these are merely dreams,
just troubled thoughts that haunt my sleeping brain;
I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
as burning cinders burst from countless frames.
I really like this verse and i really am into this hybrid form thing I"m going to try it...
ps did you ever read Farenheit 451 because your piece reminded me of that book...
if not you should read it...it's really good -
Very Good.
I found in read it that it seemed to move like a pendulum. I could count the strokes from one point to another. Fascinating. -
What a wonderful write..to put dreams over the years in such an amazing poem is not an easy thing to do..great imagery and the form is excellent..
Ps: I heard about you from a friend so I added yo to my favorites and looking forward to read more of your intersting poetry
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Nice
This poem is one i cant relate with but made me think a lot. Of how things happen, bad things to evryone. It would be sad to see that, I dont think if i had could i put it in words. Nicely done in my opinon. -
great poem. was this Versilalle style or? just wondering. the poem had great fluency and you added nice touches that added to the chilling essence of the poem. brilliant.
-Josie -
Omigod. Beautiful, wonderful imagery, I was physically moved. This really is a beautiful and brilliant Poem.
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great work
Intense. Profound. I am at a loss of words. (and anyone who knows me will tell you that doesn't happen often) Great work. -
t imediately calls to mind a painting called 'Pandemonium' can't remember the artist offhand but will check it out. Also of course, descriptions of the result of the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the images of Apocalypse. Your voice was very clear in this poem, the rhythms and emphases on certain words spit like the burning cinders and trickle thickly like the burning cinders and melting flesh you describe. A prophetic dream, or the subconscious images of newsreels and films stored and processed by an imaginative mind? I don't know. I think with recurrent dreams it is often useful to look at what is going on in one's life and see if there is a commonality when the dreams occur.
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this was amazing, rich description and images so strong and vivid they gave me goosepimples. chilling and riviting at the same time.
"I’ve seen flesh run like liquid from the bones
to bubble with the asphalt on the ground"
that bit will stick with me.
Brilliant -
exquisite
Amazing writing, I can't say more, It's already been said. Just exquisite. -
Excellent Poem!
What powerful dreams and visions you written here, it reminded me somehow of the book of revelations. It's like you can't take every horrific event as literal, but more like illustrations or symbolic meaning something else occured or is about to take place. Whatever the case, I thought that this was a very brilliant write with such great use of metaphors, symbolism and and the like. Great writing Avril
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AMAZING
Wow, you are a amazing poetry righter if only i was as good as you.... like i said wow -
this poem has a very dream like quality to it. this to me sounds like quite and intense dream, because this is quite an intense poem. i really enjoyed the form it really added to the whole feel of the poem, very end of the world as we know it.
cool man
---faos-- -
The holocaust. I also had dreams and visions of this as a child.You write brilliantly and I love the passion you pour forth. Good luck
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Hey Erin.... I read your poem and the nightmares that recurr in my head came back... Its weird but I almost feel that an ancestor of the past experienced what I did and I relive it through my dreams.... do you think that could be possible... I don't know I have also had these dreams since I was about 10 or so.... And don't know where they came from.... I have written about my recurring dream ........myabe this can be figured out I don't know.....mj
Edited on May 23, 7:24 because ''. -
EXCELLENT write, thanks for shring your unique talents and your insight of knowledge.Can only imagine sucg a nighmare send chills within...
ICUlookn
Edited on May 23, 6:21 because ''. -
ithis poem chills my spine its so deep and painfull really gripping stuff bravo bravo
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This is really good..!
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Very good narration of what is seen in the darkness in dreams in the labriths of obivion. One must know darkness before they can know light in order to master them both and find balance.
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I hate our so called 'perfect' modern, plastic society, I'm sure you'd have appreciated someone to talk about and try to help you understand the dreams instead.
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DS: indeed they were! i was stuffed into a state hospital for a year... good way to help a child deal with his fears, aye? lock him up and pump him full of mind-altering medications?
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Beautifully written, I would imagine aged twelve these dreams would have been rather scary. Your depiction of the heat in this poem is breathtaking!!
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Ah iambic pentameter! So refreshing to see it on this kind of poem. Clearly it's not necessary for me to go on and on over how great this (others have beat me to the punch). Excellent rhyme, rhythm, vocabulary...everything. Wonderful work!
Cheers,
Yossarian -
i have 1 word ------ AWESOME
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very scary. that sucks that you have such horrifying dreams. it seems like you're describing a bomb going off. it's weird what our brains make us think and see as we're sleeping. very odd. well, awesome poem. keep it up.
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the rpepetitions are striking...horrifying and nightmarish...isn't that the substance of dreams...repetition and recurring images...and you've captured that so amazingly in this poem...the blasts echo through my mind,horrifying me to a nuclear holocaust...it may be vasuvius too...or the prototype of any human tragedy...catharsis inducing...and of course,you're a god when it comes to mixing content with form
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Being a decade older than you, I can tell you where this nightmare came from. There was a cold war documentary done on Heroshiema (badly misspelled no doubt). Most likely, the object of the exercise was to scare people into heeding sirens and doing atomic bomb drills. Although, it was generally presented as a documentary. As I recall, I most likely saw it in school, but the film, no doubt, made TV either in its entirety, or in bits and pieces. And as I recall it was black and white, it would have most likely been on late night. (I cant swear to the black and white, because if I saw it on tv, I only had a B&W TV at the time. Your write is a vivid and excellent poetic narration of that very film almost down to the last grim detail. I have to assume that somewhere in your young childhood you were exposed to that film, maybe right before going to sleep. It stuck in your unconscious, your youthful mind superimposed LA over Heroshima and the nightmare was born. I would not wonder if you share this nightmare with thousands of other people. In any event, I would have to suppose that the images, were perpetuated by adolesent angst and other events in your childhood. So Erin, I wouldn't worry about the nightmare, I would strongly suspect that it was only a movie.
As to form, this was very well done and thought out. The texture was rich, the images so vivid I can still see the motion picture flicker by as I read and this write has emotional impact, slickness and integrety, that surpasses just about everything, I have seen you do before.
Even though I am pretty much convinced that you are describing a movie/documentary. This feels real, this feels like part of your emotional reality. You tapped into something inside yourself and got it on paper so well I heard the voice of the original narrator, when I read this poem.
Here it comes....
Wait for it....
WOW
Peace,
~RJ~ -
The imagery in this poem is so extremely powerful! I could envision all that you spoke about and it is powerfully riveting! This poem is very well written and I don't have any recommendations to change it, leave it as is!!!! Great job and I look forward to reading more of your work!
~Zola~ -
This is an amazing write. The reader can tell that you have truly seen the horrors you so skillfully describe. I am reminded of the scene in The Terminator when Linda Hamilton has a similar dream about the nuclear destruction of LA and she sees herself and the children on the playground get toasted in the blast. This is the first hybridanelle I've read and I my interest is quite piqued...I will definitely learn to write these. I think this is one of the best poems I've read on AP...Brilliant!
Lorena -
very well done
I like this poem you can almost see the fear it stirrs up. -
Awesome!!!
Oh my gosh! How scarey!! This is an awesome write, your imagery was, effective. *shivers* LOL, GREAT JOB, I mean REALLY great job! The images came so clearly, I just loved this poem... Great job... -
This is hauntingly visual. I found myself holding my breath as I read through each line and waiting for that happy ending that never came. I have read your article on this style and I truly admire your talent and your zest to learn so many new and difficult forms. I am a lazy writer. I love reading it, I just lack the discipline and willpower to learn it. This allows me to appraciate writers such as yourself that much more. Thank you for the pleasure.
♥ Kimberly -
aasic: in one of the dreams for certain, it ran from mine. one thing that has always stood out for me about my nuclear detonation dreams is the fact that they are the only dreams i've ever had in which i can actually feel pain. in the dream where my own flesh melted from the super-heated air, the pain only lasted for a moment because my body's pain receptors had been seared dead in that moment, so then it was just the sensation of melting flesh dripping down my ear canal when i turned my head (i was blinded since my eyes went the same way as my flesh). needless to say, i woke up a little distressed... and glad like hell that it was "just a dream".
still... i did move away from the los angeles area not long after i had that particular dream. -
SAM: yep, curious about your dreams.
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Wow. This poem is incredible. The destruction you descibe is so vivid. I loved the line "screams vaporized to whispers in the throat".
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well... you get used to it.
we've got radical islamics that want to do bad things to american cities; we've got north korea with an arsenal of nuclear weapons and a madman at the red button; and we have china that is ramping up to expand its current borders to where they used to be in ancient times (which is a good deal more of the eurasian continent). if things keep going the way they're going. just how can we avoid a few cities getting nuked? -
This was such an amazing write, it painted such graphic pictures of immense suffering.. I hope you're dreams end some time soon as it must be horribe to see these images..
~Kate~ -
Do you know it was so difficult to go on reading .the images ,they were so vivid so real! i wish your dreams would die away .Brilliant!to say the least
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Excellent poem
I truly liked this poem..not so much for the imagery as for the structure. I love to see poets who expand their craft to include many novel approaches. Especially those who do so with the degree of skill that you show. Luckily, I have never been plagued with such dreams, but I am reminded of scenes from newsfootage of the A bomb devastating Japan. The line, "I've seen flesh run like liquid from the bones," is so poignant. -
This is brilliant, and has certainly had a lasting impression on me, I'll be re-reading this very soon methinks!
great work and god bless xxx -
Erin, this is fantastic! It is indeed dark and terrifying. The images are ghastly and will stick with me long after I've left this page. The repeated lines reinforce the horror very well. Maybe I'll write a poem about one of my dreams now. Thanks for the inspiration, and great job!
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nicely written, somehow you manage to keep this interesting from beginning to end. I attribute this to your vocabulary, which is refreshing.
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Haunting, and as usual very memorable.
I've had these kind of dreams too. I think on some levels we are collectively dreaming bits and pieces of this nightmare. In reading through some of the comments here, it looks like a number of people can relate to this poem, and the special messages that come through our dreams. Great job. -
Wonderfully written. This really reminded me of the opening of Terminator II where the city is destroyed by the nuclear bombs. Very well done... and I enjoyed this poem. It was clear and concise. It is full of imagery and motion. Well done poet.
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Absolutely amazing. Truly disturbing, and such imagery! I really can't describe how I feel about this poem, apart from that if I ever met you, I'd like to shake your hand.
Very, very well done.
God bless.
ELW -
Fantastic
Wow. Urm...speechless. Heart wrenching telling, loved the repetition of startlingly strong lines. Absolutely brilliant. Thank you for a wonderful read.
Ascoltatore.
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The one thing I've always found hard about this form is choosing the right lines to be the repeating refrain lines. They have to be the most powerful of the lines and the ones with the most emotion and be able to combine together at the end to drive the point home. I think you did just that. A fascintating insight of a horrific dream. I don't believe this is "just" a dream either. This touches not only on the events of 9-11 in the U.S. but all around the world. This was very visual. I watched the images of mothers and fathers, cradling their children has they ran from flames until they melted away. A wonderfully eerie write you have here. Best of luck to you.
~Lyrical
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this was good reading, and the subject was brilliantly discribed. well done
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What can I say to this??? I am outstanded by your sheer talent when I was reading this I thought wow how does this man capture so many images and put them forth into the readers mind? Anything I say to this will not be enough. I have read your columns, but never any of your poetry and this is simply amazing. I was looking at how you used repeats yet they were done in a way that was so subtle and natural that nobody would notice you had used repeats. I noticed how you used words that described fire and smoke them echoed them by repeating them in a different way. There was so much talent in this. There were so many things that you used. You are a skilled poet of one of the highest standards I have seen in a long, long time. I just don't have words. I only wish that I could write to your standard and use all the techniques that you use, but then each and everyone of us is different. This work certainly stands out from the crowd. You are an artist of the highest calibre. I have no applauds left, but I don't care this deserves to be applauded so I will use my points because you deserve them.
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ooooo i really enjoyed this. there is so much vivid language...which shows how talented you are, and imagery...its unbelievable...this is one of the best poems i have ever read on AP. great write...*i'm clapping for you!*
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This recurring nightmare may well be true if the powers- that-be continue the present shortsighted ways. Pardon me, but I think that an Iraqi child would have suffered through the trauma that you described when U.S bombs fell on their small towns and tiny shacks. People everywhere are against proliferation of nuclear weapons or wars but sadly, their voice seems too insignificant to carry to the halls where policies are made and strategies are formulated. We also get swayed by many emotions worst of all by mis-placed patriotism. This is a disturbing write and the images it throws up are too real to be ignored. I do not remember all my dreams but I too am a lucid dreamer. There is so much research on this fascinating topic of dreams and what they represent that sometimes, you wonder at the man’s ability to analyze everything to bits. Thanks for a wonderful read.
Krishna.
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