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Lucifers Dream Animation


And through the ages cloaked in darkness,
hidden from the mortal realm.
Always in the shadows watching, feeding
deep beneath the mighty Elm.

Lit from torch light is a cavern,
with many rooms in which to dwell.
built like an underground cathedral,
located halfway down to hell.

Sitting here on the throne of evil
in the great hall of the horned.
Surrounded by his fallen Dominion,
Sits Lucifer the Angel scorned.

It was God himself that chose the humans
over his Angels tried and true.
A foolish choice as they betrayed him,
a thing no angel would ever do.

Our time will soon be here my disciples,
when I will rule this wretched land.
One thousand years I’ll sit in judgment,
with out the interference from gods own hand.

Until the final battle,
Armageddon it will be.
Where angels change allegiance
and flock to follow me.

As angels Cross the line,
after serving mortal man.
And Christ finally realises,
it isn’t going to Gods plan.

Until then I will wait in shadow,
hidden from the mortals eye.
As they go about their business,
unaware there fate draws nigh.

And when all of life is over,
and the smoke begins to clear.
And I vanquish my old master,
then it won’t be God you’ll fear.

Author notes

Written May 21st, 2005

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Comments

1 - 30 of 38     1 2  next >  (show all)
  • Excellent!

    As they say "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't." I think we know him better now. Actually my boss is like this guy some days.


  • Oleander
    May 22

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    A darker depiction of humanity as it could be, and a well written poem. I liked the rhyming scheme. It ends perfectly. I'm looking forward to reading more poems by you. I really like what I've read so far!

  • Sick

    That was sick, this should be put into a compilation of the best poetry ever.All I can say about it.

  • WOW

    This is amazing i very much enjoyed reading it


  • artsyfart13
    December 11, 2008
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    AWSOME

    i love this. It was so cool.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    November 29, 2008

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    Paul,
    This is a fabulous poem. I think you could really take this one on to a more expanded story/movie even. I wish I'd read this one before. One day I am going to spend the day hauting the pages of my fellow mods And the animation is awesome; I love the whole evil tone of it, it reverberates and gives the shivers. You really are a wonderously talented man. Bravo!


  • SimplyNoodle
    November 23, 2008

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    ....

    thats creepy.....But wonderful write, but scarry it flows nicely but its gonna give me night mears, i love the laugh at the end even though its pretty scarry, your pieace was put together so well


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    November 23, 2008

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    Oh my, yes very creepy! An excellent piece Paul Loved how you did Satan's voice too! It all works together so wonderfully and I can assure you that I don't want to be here for one thousand years
    Bravo!
    Gaylene


  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    November 22, 2008

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    Creepy..

    & entertaining! As a Bible Scholar [student] for 18 yrs. when I saw the title I just had to take a peek. It's been a long day & I'm feeling & & when I saw the length of the poem I was disheartened! I clicked the screen & to my delight 'Satan' was telling his own tale! It's quite amazing how you capture the essence of his evil & sinister madness with the truth as told in the Bible in the reverse application in this write which is so like Lucifer who was the light bearer turned fiend who's aim is to depose The Creator of all & take His Throne! You depict the adversary well here. Is that you reading the poem? I've got to check you out some more. This was an unexpected delight after a very busy Sabbath day. I see that you're asking for suggestions & I'm going to put this into my Word Program & offer you some grammatical suggestions, as I noted a need for them when I read the poem! Later.... is drawing me! Always nice to have a taste, sight & sound of genius!


  • OctoberCrush
    November 22, 2008
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    Nice Job.
    Just like everyone else said.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    Creative...

    Returned and was able to listen to the audio this time...the first part of the oration is delivered with clear diction and delivered with a fitting pace...the voice modulizer utilized to effect the Devils dire and dastardly dreamscape added an effective nuance and compounded the characterization...whilst the dream animation of Lucifer is dark in intent it does not over-bear or leave the listener feeling over-whelmed by the dark portents...rather it does what any subjective debate listened too...it allows the listener to ruminate...be informed and decide for themselves where they choose to take their own paths of dreams...towards the light or stepping eagerly into the black blanket of the darkscape...A pleasure to return and appreciate the presentation of your creativity fully...it was thoughtful of you to provide the written word for clarity and also by providing both written and audio creativity our poets that are hard of hearing may listen to the written word and our poets that are visually impaired are able to see the portrayal depicted within the timpani played within understanding the beat inside eardrum...Bravo...


  • FaerieNWonderland
    November 22, 2008

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    this is very good! it gave me chills! i absolutley love every word i written here. it really made an impact with me. thank you so much for sharing. i enjoyed reading it!


  • bigperm gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    Well then...

    looking through the comments given thus far I could say what everyone else has said but I think you know this is great, that would be redundant. What contribution did you have to the animation? Did you illistrate, or is that your voice over?


  • Annawyn
    November 22, 2008

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    Oh Crap!

    After I read this, I had to just sit back and say "Holy crap!" It gives me a huge thrill reading this, cause I used to write about Lucifer all of the time. good luck in all you do


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    Written from the point of view of lucifer, it is excellent. i can totally believe this would be his thoughts.
    it flowed quite well in my opinion.... best of luck in the contest.

    becca

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    November 22, 2008
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    Devilish...

    Liked that the title showed that this is a dream sequence from the soul of Lucifer...a lyrical dig...do...and boo-who-hoo...ahhh who can truly say 'til judgement day whose nightmare or dream comes true...am bookmarking to try and listen to the audio later as can't get it to play...and I LOVE Spoken Word poetry....


  • JinSays gold member
    November 22, 2008

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    It was God himself that chose the human’s
    over his Angels tried and true.
    A foolish choice as they betrayed him,
    a thing no angel would ever do.

    Get that errant apostrophe off that word human, . . .buggin me.
    This is a fabulous work of art, I believe you've chosen and displayed dichotomy well, and that sardonic bite is just awesome. I won't get up on my pulpit and start preaching about religion, spirituality is enough to contend with I think.
    I really loved this, and I'm glad I clicked.
    Jin


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    July 9, 2007

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    chillingly alive

    Content:
    In content, this descriptive bio of satan's meddlesome personality is accurate in application. You must've read the account from old and new testaments.(1 John 3:8)<------ how he really was cast out.

    As you point out:
    He's not only jealous. He's many titles.
    Beautiful,shining,liar and accuser among others that don't have the universal 'red underwear, pitch fork n' horn' illustrating someone most would not go to. Nope; he's a deceiver alright.

    Job would be the best reference to how he is an actual being and what capacity of power he works in. Yikes! Nearly seems unfair, doesn't it?Job 1:6,12; 2:1,7.

    Form:

    You used the best form in my estimation without any phony rhymes even though some of the iambs are measured differently. Good poetic skill here.

    There are some spelling errors, which I think someone pointed out. Also, one homophone;(human’s) which is typed in possessive would be (humans), plural

    I love the resolve, the part that summates the intention and gives clarity to the chronology of those things which have happened and will yet be.

    Excellent descriptives throughout. Glad you did your homework...lol.
    Thanks brother ..for another artful illustration of an avoided subject.



    You might enjoy this as a recap to the poem and the direction you took.

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/205252


  • Centri
    July 9, 2007
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    um.. goog job I like it, and you articulate things pretty well.


  • Vivienne Harding
    July 9, 2007

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    So then are you the angel, or is Lucifer this angel that will change ranks, once Satan wins on Armageddon's day?... I don't think so. Satan will go to the bottomless pit, and Jesus will rule and reign for 1000 years. Then Satan will be released for a season to deceive the nations once more, and then, when he surrounds Jerusalem on the broad plains of the earth, all the dead will rise and books will be opened and those not found written in the book of life of the lamb will die the second death and be cast into the lake of fire. Then there will be a new heaven and a new earth - inwhich righteousness dwells.

    Satan already fell before the foundations of the earth were laid, or why else would he have tempted Eve and Adam to fall? All of Creation is thereby subject to futility and will all be burnt up after the Great White Throne Judgement of God.

    I do realise this poem is called Satan's Dream, and yes he would dream that he could overthrow Jesus who is God in human form, but he should dream on...

    A third of the Angels that he commands fall with him in Revelation 12, and they won't be able to go back to their domain from there.


    Your imagery and storyline is excellent and your subject matter original, but you do have a few spelling errors:
    Sitting here on the "throne" of evil
    It was God himself that chose the "humans"
    when I will rule this "wretched" land.
    As they go about "their" business,

    Viv


  • JUGULAR vain
    July 8, 2007
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    SWEET

    it show god was master but now the young grashopper ownes all YAR


  • Mansoor
    July 8, 2007

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    Its awesome!

    I just love this poem. Its beautifully written, what a great flow and imagery. The thought and the imagination is very heartfelt and admiring!! i honestly applaud to this piece of work, Good job! i really loved this poetry..! You sure have got a creative mind. I'm impressed!! beautiful!


  • liner30
    December 7, 2006

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    I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I LOVE THIS POEM. IT SHOWS THE DIFFERENCES IN GOD AND LUCIFER AND HOW EVERYTHING WILL HAPPEN. YOU REALL Y DID A WONDERFUL OB WRITING THIS PEOM AND I LOVE HOW YOU DON'T ONLY TALK ABOUT LUCIFER BUT HOW YOU PUT GOD INTO IT ALSO. IT SHOWS THAT YOU KNOW BOTH PERSONALITYS AND I LOVE THAT SO MUCH. KEEP ON WRITING PEOMS LIKE THIS ONE AND YOU'LL REALLY TOUCH A LOT OF PEOPLE I KNOW.


  • Morbid Masochist
    February 1, 2006
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    I like it..it's good..however i don't much like what's going on it. That may be just because i follow the god and his word. You may too, and just be writing about some random thing you like. i've done that before. I don't know. it's good. but yeah...that's my verdict


  • lovely lemon tree
    August 3, 2005
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    i loove the title! great imagry. mostly good flow, but i had some rough spots. overall, i liked it. best of luck in the contest, and keep penning!


  • Sharon Corr gold member
    August 2, 2005
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    Brilliance TRUE GOLD

    "Lucifers Dream" your title drew me in. Utter brilliance in your meter, rhyme, rhyme. As your last line is ghastly haunting indeed. Mega force powerful. You’re an award-winnng writer. Namaste Blessed Be..


  • Georges silver member
    August 2, 2005
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    Excellent

    Excellent and dark poem when we see Lucifer walk and judge on the earth again. Excellent poem and good luck in the contest.
    Georges.


  • CountryCousin
    June 22, 2005
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    Chilling write here.

    This is spoken from the POV of the dark angel and does describe the fiery hell or the hell of it being in league with Lucifer and well he makes the point about one third of the angels falling. That comes out. Interesting and chilly but I am out of applauses. This one does make the hair on the back of your neck curl up.


  • gothangel
    May 24, 2005
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    awesome f'n poem...i really liked it alot...i love dark poems. you did awesome on this one...nice job and good luck in the contest

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