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Gothic Requiem

Gothic Requiem

You see my face with salty tears
Each one of them what mothers fears
I cry for all the children lost
You do not realize its cost
They need someone to cry for them
This is my gothic requiem

© Jim T. Henriksen

Author notes

This poem was written after 9/11 and the war on Iraq and Afganistan. All this unneccessary death makes me want to cry, from the very root of my soul...

"War would end if the dead could return." - Stanley Baldwin
Written May 20th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 29 of 29
  • gothicgirl68

    I really did like that it remindes me of what I used to be


    • Starhiker
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment, and your applauses, gothicgirl68, I appreciate it a lot!


  • Starhiker
    October 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, Frodofan! I know it's sad, I was really sad when I wrote it. I see you liked the last line best, plase give me your interpetation of it... Thanks for the comment! Jim

  • Frodofan
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really like this. It's really sad, but it's good to remember. The last line was my favorite.


  • Starhiker
    August 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, Kat! Yes, this was written after the fall of WTC, but also after the war on following wars on terrorism. I cry for all the children lost, no matter which side they faught on... Thanks for the comment, and the applause. I appreciate it. Jim

  • Silver Writing
    August 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    Nice piece. It is sad though. I'm guessing that it is about the World Trade Center. I'm just guessing by the pic. Such a sad time and we are still being effected by it today.


  • Starhiker
    December 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, Di!! I am glad you like the poem. I realized that it is suitable for almost any situation where lives have been lost... so I entered it. Thanks for the comment! Jim

  • Starhiker
    December 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks minion, for the great comment! Jim


  • masterblaster gold member
    December 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Jim my dear friend a very lovely poem with a lot of feel that comes from the soul, beautiful, all the best in the comp, Happy Christmas, hugs Di


  • Jasperkt
    December 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou for enetring!!! you did an amzing job here and it is astounding how you fitted such a large content into such a samll poem. Once again thankyou for enetring


  • Starhiker
    November 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, Shahrzad Maftooh! Thanks for your nice comment. You saw the deep meaning behind the poem perfectly! Jim

  • Ir.muse
    November 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    That's a nice poem and can be related to all innocent people killed all over the world.

  • Starhiker
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hi buffy! Thanks for the comment, and the heartwarming applause! Jim


  • irene plunkett
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is an amazing and heartfelt poem by u keep it up


  • Starhiker
    September 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Yuna. I guess this poem could be applied to the Katrina-victims aswell...

  • Naraku No Hana
    September 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow! I see what you mean. This is brilliant! I was horrified when I watched it on TV. I wanted to cry too for all the people and I nearly did. This is a great read though a sad reminder.


  • Starhiker
    September 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your comment, Little Lark, and for your applause, being the first I get for this poem, incredible as it sounds...


  • His Shoulder Angel
    September 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    So many comments...and no applause?!?! What the heck?! This was a brillant piece and I loved it so much! You did an amazing job on this and it deserves praise for it.


  • Starhiker
    August 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your long comment. This poem was written with great sadness for the innocent people that dies on 9/11 and the soldiers that died in the war on terrorism. True, everyone has their own emotion, and believes everyone else understand, but they don't. That's why we have poetry.


  • crystaltips
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A simple rhyming pattern can make a complex piece so simple. Although it is a simple topic that you wrote about, i mean it quoted everything you feel and so forth there is such an array of complexity in the emotions other people feel about the same subject. I'm not sure if this is what you wanted to accomplish but i got the sense that everyone sees there own emotion as simple to understand. When in reality people are unable to understand each other and why they feel the way they do. Im sorry if i've taken it down a completely different path but that is just how i interpreted it. Great write anyway!

  • Starhiker
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks!!


  • -throw it up
    August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i like this poem.. a lot.. short but too the point.. great write


  • Starhiker
    August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks

    No s in fear, except in plural... 'It' is the loss of the children, which in this case means everyone, as all of us is children of our mothers.

    No, I didn't make this poem trying to rhyme them/requiem, I started with just a pencil, a piece of paper, and a tear in my eye. The rest came natural. No hurting brain.

    Gothic symbolize darkness and sadness, and yes, I know the dictionary meaning of requiem... Definition 1a and 2 is the correct one. It's not a church service or a song.

    Thanks for the critique. I believe this is the first actual critique of any of my work...

  • Bob the Elder
    August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    second line there should be no s on fear, although i guess it wouldn't rhyme then... but as far as i can tell it is currently nonsensical. fourth line: 'its'? what is 'it'? maybe war... but we don't know about that until we read your authors comments... last two lines: the structure of the poem so far would now have me believe you are trying to rhyme the words them/requiem. not a good thing for the brain to try and do. at all. painful. and lastly: the title and last line. first, what properties of this piece would you call 'gothic'? secondly

    requiem.
    n.

    1. Requiem- Roman Catholic Church.
    a. A mass for a deceased person.
    b. A musical composition for such a mass.

    2. A hymn, composition, or service for the dead.


    was this a church service or a song? it was commemorative, i'll give you that...

    on the other hand i can see, at least from your authors comments, that your feelings are true, and its great that you care that much, and have told people about it.


  • Lunatique
    July 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You are most welcome, starhiker. Thank you for sharing with me.


  • Starhiker
    July 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, Vampyre Tourniquet, I will keep on writing, but not only about sad stuff; I write about any emotion, as you can see from my other poems I've submitted. And I'll keep on writing...


  • Starhiker
    July 22, 2005
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    I am humbled by your words, Lunatique. People have said before that I write good poems, but your comment really warmed my heart... Thanks!


  • TourniquetofBlood
    May 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like this peice and I hope you keep writing, even if it is about pain or emotion. I like this kind of stuff


  • Lunatique
    May 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I find that your pain is wonderfully expressed through this piece, and it is almost as if you give tribute to all the lost souls with your writing. I'm sure they have not died in vain with your recognition. I cannot possibly critique this poem, but I will say that it is a dear thought from you.

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