I watched you as you lay there, hanging on with all you had.
Fighting for every breath.
I saw you suffer, then suddenly you realized you didn't have to fight anymore.
God called for you and held out his hand.
As you made your decision, you thought of all that you would be leaving behind.
You knew that we would miss you, but then you realized that you were going to a better place.
You knew that you would see us again, so you looked around one last time, the took the Lord's hand.
You left us one late summer's night, with our laughter and our tears.
Now you look down on us from heaven, and know one day that we'll see each other again.
Author notes
This is yet another piece devoted to my papaw fred. He meant the world to me and it almost seems empty without him here, but I know that he is in a better place.
Written May 19th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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I really really love this one. It actually makes sense for what uve been thru and for me, the past couple of wks. Ure so awesome at putting things into words. Jealous.
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awwww... this is so sad! definately a tear jerker.. not because it's depressing or just so emotionally sad, but actually because it's so happy and sweet. I mean.. you're totally 100% right in believing that they were happy to go and finally get to be with God in heaven. tat was very deep and heart-felt of you. your a very smart poet.. that'll get you far. great write. x3 heather
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Papaw Fred send an angelic hello
You and me both. About 25 percent of my poems are memorials to my lost loved ones. It helps me to think that, genetically speaking, they are all still with me from my tippy toes to each strand of hair. In my heart and memories and me...all my loved ones are always there. Papaw Fred is always there with you too I can see. Oh...what a price we pay for our Guardian angels especially your papaw Fred and my loved ones.
Be Blessed
Edited on Jul 11, 7:26 p.m. because ''. -
Very sad but I love that you were able to turn this experience into a poem.It was lovely,keep it up.
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I liked: the fact that this was a very sappy poem with lots of emotion. I have no doubt in my mind that this was genuine. Thank you for this heartfelt write.
I didn't like: the center alignment with the long lines. Also, I think you could make this a little more terse and economic for easy reading. -
A great write here.
This is very beautiful and so lovely to read. I agree when God calls they know they are in a better place. So I am sorry that I ran out of applauses but you did wonderfully well with this. -
crazy
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Sorry, can't relate to this.
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i love it. i like poetry like this. there is hope and we will see them again. death isnt the end of it all. good job!
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I really like this peice reminds me of my Aunt ..I think we all at one point in our lives will fill this way.I like to read about it cause it makes me feel like "im not the only one"
Great write!
God Bless -
depressing with an intresting shred of hope and happiness... which is enough to know that all is good... great write
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after the lines "God called for you and held out his hand." this poem felt like it degraded into mere prose. The extensive use of the 2nd person pronoun is also fairly irritating to some readers (like myself). I think I counted 19 uses throughout this poem.
You could drop it sometimes "I watched you as you lay there" could become "I watched you lay there".
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*sniff, sniff* I'm about to cry, I know how it is to lose someone, I lost my father about six monthes ago. Great poem, especially since it means so much. I know his place will never be filled but I know we will meet again. Awesome write!
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This is really sad...and I loved the words you expressed to your grandfather...I just lost mine recently too and I had watched him suffer for years...and the amazing part is that when he was only 30 years old he had gotten run over by a van...It crushed him, but this little man was able to pick this van up all on his own, and if that's not got than I don't know who else it would be...He suffered for so many years, but yet at the age of 62 he finally passed away...He may have lived a short life, but he made it worthwhile when he was here, and I'm thinking your grandpa has done the same...My total weakness is losing a loved one...It is very hard to go through this, and my prayers are here for you and your family...Just remember don't give up and he's just resting peacefully and I'm sure he deserves it so much....I'm sorry for your loss...Keep on writing...
Alecia -
This is so sad. Thanks for posting and sharing your pain.
~Dee -
Very nice write, wonderfully written. I enjoyed the read, alot.
Bestest wishes & other mushy, gushy stuff
~Meli~
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Beautiful
Beautiful. You must have sat with someone special at the sacred moment that they pass. The is beautifully written. And reminded me of the summer night when I Dad passed. -
I was going to give a real critique of this, but decided to look on your author's page before I did. How can you be an adult and a highschool student? I'm curious. While I'm sorry for your loss, in regards to the poem, I am also sorry for your inability to tell the truth within 3 lines of each other on your author's page. That, in turn, leads me to wonder about the reality of your poem. And that, too, in turn, makes me sad to even read anything you've written. If you can't be honest with who you are, how can you be honest in your writing?
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Powerful sad and strong at once.
BEST REGARDS
SEAN KINSELLA -
Honest work...
If I am not wrong this write belong to a brave poet. Who is after the death of the father fighting with several truths of life. I am really touched to read such a sacred and highly communicative write. It is just slick and impressive which I will remember for a long time. This is just a perfect emotional presentation. thanks for sharing this to us.prabhudayal khattar -
This made me want to cry....It is definitely a teach jerker!
the whole scene that was set was just emotionally powerful.
Great Work!!!! -
Good job
This is a very sad and a bit happy poem for me. It's sad that you pawpaw fred has passed away but it's happy for me to know that he's in a better place. I do think that you expressed yourself wonderfully and beautifully here. I loved reading it because you put all your feeling in this. And the best thing is, that this isn't a sad poem it's more of a happy sounding poem from you. Maybe happy to know that you'll see him again and that he went peacefully. I loved that. Good job and hang in there, it gets better as the days go on!
Casey
BLessed BE -
I'm not a bleiever of god but I liked this piece anyway. Good job.
PS: In the line- the took the Lord's hand. Did you mean to say "Then took the lord's Hand?
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I don't really know what to say....
the poem pretty much said it all.
I do hope that we see every one who is gone...someday.
Great Piece of work!!
Keep it Up! -
This is very deeply expressed...Actions speak louder than words, and I could see the imagery you had going on in this piece. Thank you for sharing.
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this is a very sweet poem even though it is sad..to me it sounds like you have excepted the death even if you didn't want it that way..it's defiently hard but it's always better to look on the good side and that is what this poem is to me...good write...
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This was so so sad and emotive. I really felt your feelings as you poured them into this brave write. This was so loving and the sense that you had lost someone so special to you. I lost my best friend Marie she was 31 she died of a massive brain tumour and I know the loss that a person feels every death is different depending on what that person means to you. Every person reacts differently to death, but there is one thing that connects all those who have been bereaved and that is the sense of loss. That was evident in this write. As time goes on it gets easier, but you never forget that person. Memories will turn to happier days soon and I pray that the good Lord keeps you. God Bless you.
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I really liked this Brandy! I really felt this! It almost made me cry! I love you girl and you will be just fine! See ya later!
Love ya,
Amanda -
i think this is a great way to view death
as meeting our maker, or whomever you believe in
this is a great write, keep it up and god bless! -
Sooo touching!
I liked this a lot...
it was soooo touching
Keep it up!
Gypsybelle. -
I know how you feel in this, it reminds me of when my grandma left us. We knew she was going to a place where she couldnt hurt anymore and we knew she loved us, but it still hurts (and it always will) that she can't be here to make me laugh and stop my tears when i cry. Time will help a lot, all you can do is remenisce on the good times, instead of dwelling on the fact that he is not here anymore. good luck and all my heart goes out to you.
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