Here in the yellow buttercup field where we lie
and watch the lazy clouds drift on by
here there are no worries to darken my mind
No thoughts, no cares
Just us and the bright sunshine
And for the first time
since as long as i can remember
I am truly happy
Here in the buttercup field where we lie
and watch the lazy clouds drift on by
Author notes
I would appreciate some ideas for titles for this piece please and i'm also wondering whether it is too short or if the rhyming(ish) pattern works or if i should drop it.
Written May 16th, 2005
A contest entry
- Short Poems Short poems Short Poems by Capital.
300 points, ended September 9, 2005, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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there is nice imagery in this poem lazy clouds is a particulary good piece of descriptive vocab an elipses would be effective at the very end to extend that timeless atmosphere that the rest of the poem has
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omg I love buttercups...my favorite flower. How glorious it would be to lay in a feel of them. Thanks for sharing the mental image!
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Good work
Beautiful snapshot of a moment in time captured so elequently. Well Done -
Ah, that is a superb write...just captures the moment...beautiful! Thanks for the entry...keep you posted!
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i think i muchly like this piece. know what you mean. hey there's a title. solitude=peace. or if you want it put better peace in solitude. hey i dont know but yeh this is cool. by the ways who's the person who shares this? i don't know i wondered, you reffered to us, we. were you actually reffering to a person, or did you mean something else? who d person? chris? he just being nosy but mebs i shouldn't, i not mind if u not answer u can tell me to shut up if u want
well c u
yeh nice poem
rhyme works great, is fine this long but i would enjoy more
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