Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Epitamy (Epitome)

Body ripping open.

Black shards of my heart
Melting quickly to form
The murky water that runs down my face
And swirls across the floor
Towards its sunken middle.

I am not sure when the screaming stopped
And the floods began
Probably some time during the blackness
When the curtain fell around me
And blinded me from all light.

This hopeless room surrounds me
Bearing down on me with its bleak, dusty walls.
Each minute crack in the plaster
Forms a chasm within my mind
Begging for me to fall in
And become lost in its inky depths.


Author notes

pain
Written May 12th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Akaelya
    May 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It's cool in a spacy, abstract, hopeless, nice words way but I think it could be better, but than again most things could be. I think a little more structure and flow would make it much better. Keep writing!