Death is coming soon
As you may not see it now
It shines through the moon
Author notes
This is my first haiku and it sucks really bad!!!!!
Written May 10th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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this is your first one and it doesnt suck in my book because imhorrible at them. so this i a good one if you look at it at my point of veiw
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thanx i thought it sucked really bad but thanx!!!
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kiara youre very first haiku*pats head* lol i like it i think its a little confusing though but its still good
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images, not thoughts
ah well - you gotta learn how to walk before you can run...
congratulations on trying to write a haiku.
the problem i have with this haiku is that it is all thought and no observation.
good haiku usually concern sense images, particularly what we see and hear around us...
good haiku imply what we think and feel, but these are incorporated within our sense images.
people sometimes think a haiku nis a 17 syllable poem with a reference to nature, but it is a lot more than that...i've been wrioting haiku for many years now and am still learning what they are all about.
all the best on your poetry journey,
myron.
ps: do you mean 'through' in the final line?
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