Bringing back old memories
her haunting sillouette-
in a continuance of her intercourse with the ghosts of the past
whom time stands still for-
sits on a dark suitcase in the musty attic,
telling stories in an over-sentimental fashion.
I am lost in her metaphysical emotions
and the vast distances between each of her words.
She laments the human condition that she must bear,
as her otherworldly discourse swings my emotions
from those of a frenzied jackpot win
to those of being buried alive in an iron basket.
Her tired eyes see beyond the veil
into the dark beyond which eludes me,
she dances behind shuttered windows,
her mystical music playing loud and strong,
my senses now knife-edge keen
with a brain-surge of transcendental thought
and an ensemble of love
that splashes the many bright hues of her features
off the cracked walls and into my heart.
A spiritual condition
that goes beyond our shared perceptions,
I walk in and see a lone figure
in the empty loft,
a mingling of the soul and the eyes,
she is sometimes like a wild dandelion
sprouting in the concrete canyon of my life,
her soft guitar playing in the dying evening
as she fingers the chords so delicately
and the voices of her unseen dead
sing her song so melodiously.
I cannot hear them,
and I am satisfied with the silence.
Her mysteries are left to my imagination.
She strikes a chord of raw sensation
and the bright whites of her artistry
race through my mind’s crystal lenses
and split again into a Newtonian rainbow of colors
that now reverberate among the mixed feelings of my desire.
Now everything evaporates;
and I am alone in the empty attic.
Author notes
......................................Based on the comments of the King of Comment, Bohb!
Written May 10th, 2005
In a list
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Gives me the creeps, so this must be really well done, I was pleased to come to the end.
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Thank you for your entry into our Poetry Island Survivor Series Competition. We are hard at work reading and making our lists .. Watch the Round 1 Column for the list of writers advancing to Round 2. Good luck and thanks again!
Cvillelisa, Desiree Darkk and Son of the Moon
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Like Bob, I'm not going to guess how you put it together, but somehow, you've managed to take inspiration from those comments - mingle it together with your own observation, and arrive at the end with a result that not only seems to embody them but aslo the 'tone' which exists in much of Bohb's writing.. although I'm not sure how I would describe that 'tone' . At times it seems a search, a quest, and at others an acceptance.. even satisfaction.. as well as the balance points inbetween.. certainly not an easy thing to emulate in any way....
You did it well in my view, very well... with a keen perception, I might add..
~~Lisa/whims -
This is a great peice, brilliantly written, Alot of thought and emotion was put into this, I really enjoyed reading it
"I cannot hear them,
and I am satisfied with the silence."
I love these lines, they captured my soul.
Great write once again . I will be reading more of you
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These pictures are great! especiall the main picture that you show before the poem. They really give a sort of eerie feel to this piece and ties in well with the feeling of this poem. Very creative.
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Perfect!
I did not read the original workings this sprang from but I am impressed! You could be speaking of a lost love in either the aspect of their passing or the passing of the relationship. You could be speaking of music or musicians that no longer walk amongst us. Or a house in and of itself. The complexity of the images you can pull from this are astounding. What's more is you do not need to be blessed with an overactive imagination to "see" any of them. This is one of the best poems I have read on AP ever. I have liked your work in the past and even loved some of your pieces but this is THE BEST. -
wow! this was awesome! i loved it.. grea tjob.. xoxo stac
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Powerful Imagery
Wow, I like what you did w/ the color scheme on the actual page. Also, in terms of the poem: amazing imagery. -
OMG Priceless picturebook perfection
Oh, my, youhave touched my soul, my heart,with this one, this should have a sepia toned picture Lord I was going to bed and you make me want to write, Bad wbiro, badLOLOLOLO -
WOW!!! This blew me away. So close to perfect i have difficulty
leavin the page. Wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
LOL
I shan't ask how you derived fragments from the commentary...and then combined them into this exquisite corpse, but it actually works fairly well (to my surprise).
I'm honored....and I think you've managed to surpass the original with the finished result.
It's that fiddling about talent isn't it? -
mysterious
Your words are mysterious and yet almost give you a comfort because of the guitar playing. This is a beautiful write. I love how your words seem to fly at me and when I was finished reading, I wished I had just begun. -
Haunting
This sort of reminds me of the books that had one I believe was called. Petals In The Attic. Very haunting and yet you just keep reading it. -
Excellent
Wonderful write, you could feel the words just jump off the page at you when reading, kept your interests till the end. Just great. Take care, Lissa -
Wow.... This was AMAZING! The best that I've seen in a while, It was filled with so much emotion and detail, I'm stuned almost speachless. Keep it up!
Always
Janelle Elise
I cannot hear them,
and I am satisfied with the silence,
her mysteries left to my imagination.
She strikes a chord of raw sensation,
and the bright whites of her artistry
refract through my mind’s crystal lenses
and split into a Newtonian rainbow of colors
then reverberate among the mixed feelings of my desire.
Kick ASS^^^ -
Hi, a very lovely and sad write, you painted a very vivid picture with your words, I am getting hooked on your work, this goes on to my favorites a very good write. a pleasure to read, all the best hugs Di
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This showed so much expression in the way you worded it. It was like a mystery, making me want to read more. I loved the opening lines also. This was an excellent write! Great pictures as well. Keep it up!!
Brandy
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wow... this sent a chill down my spine. The word choice is great, the imagery is awesome, this is overall a really good write. I love it! Great job.
Evilia -
beautiful
Wow, this was amazing. Really enjoyed it, you're so good with words; I'm jealous.
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ohh... This Piece is wonderful! I love the piece! your words are full of mystery...
Well penned
Angel
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