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Bereft

Beneath her feet, a stretch of beach, reaching far behind
Empty but for drifted wood, bleached with sun and brine,
Remnants of two sets of footprints, nestled side by side…
Ending here.
Forward-facing now, a daunting sight; a barren page extending into night,
The story likely hers alone to write… starting here.

Author notes

This is a (mostly) rhyming acrostic.
Written May 10th, 2005

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Comments

  • ocerus
    October 15

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    Wow! Very few flaws in this lovely, lilting acrostic. Perhaps "extends to night" for rhythm's sake? That's about the only flaws I can see. Maybe, "Ending here" plus something else. I just don't know what that something else can be. Once again you've created a good one.

  • ocerus
    September 4, 2005
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    Supreme!

    WOW KID!!! This is SO GOOD!!! I am not usually blown away by much of anybody's poetry (except for a couple of famous types) but THIS?! This is damn good!!!! Wow!!! Normally when I read someone's poetry here, I find myself criticizing and pointing out things that I think are incorrect and so on. Personally, I don't see anything wrong here at all! This is extremely good! I also want to thank you for critiquing my piece, otherwise I never would have found this poem! Wow!


  • Shiny New
    May 10, 2005
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    x thumbs up!

    Even though it's an acrostic (esoteric or what?!) - this piece is again very poignant - somewhat of a recent theme and very contactable - i feel your sadness as well as your courage and determination. Your ability to express pure feeling is really wonderful - keep it up (but how could you not?!)