You are digging your grave
Into your own body
With your finger nails
And rusty razor blades
You dig and you pull
At the rotting flesh
That was once your own
Trying to dig out
All the pain and all the darkness
Whatever makes you dead inside
You dig and you dig and you dig
Until there is nothing left
And then you keep on digging
Author notes
Written May 9th, 2005
In a list
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1 - 11 of 11
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it just kept digging and digging and digging and digging and dinngine g keie didc.........into me as i read it.....very intese......you couldn't have writen it any better....every digg...and digging was just awsome....great job....keep the pen moving and all that good stuff....
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Dark and intense. You can really "see" the whole scene taking place as you read through the lines. It carries such heaviness of emotion within. Great piece!
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Wow this is dark! It's a little confusing, but I really like it!
Great work!
Elle x x x -
I like this piece, but I'm not so sure I like the first couple of lines. "digging . . . onto your own body" This line doesn't appear to make sense.
Digging into your own body
Piling dirt upon your own body
Shoveling dirt onto your own body
Those are just a couple of suggestions. But good job with this piece! That's the only area I see that would need some attention! -
i like this and think its just fine the imagery is beautifully horrifying but im not sure you were even trying to create any owell my advice is change nothing good job
keep it up
uno jus
CLOUD -
well, the first four or so lines are extremely well done. and the rest is not bad. but i can see why you're not happy with it. ok...um.....i would change the order of the lines. keep the first five and then take "Until there is nothing left" and put that for the sixth line. and then get rid of the rest and start from there. hope i helped.
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It`s really good. Kind of dark, but we all need a little darkness once in a while. Anyway, you provide some good imagery for the poem and a really good read all around. There are a few loose ends, but that`s what makes the poem so good. Write on!
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Thank you!
~Sam~
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Wow, so dark
I liked the repetition here, keep writing and thanks for your comment I'd love you to put it in a portfolio 
All the best,
Pozo
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Thankx for the comment. The beginning of the poem and very end came from a another poem but I didn't like the rest, and the end is suppose to be a poem by itself, I just put them together because I wanted to get them off the school's computer. That's why there are no author comments or anything. But really, thanks for the comment and the suggestions.
~Sam~
Edited on May 10, 1:04 p.m. because ''. -
Okay, I really liked the first four lines of this poem. It has very stark imagery. The rest, however, is pretty cliche. I would suggest reading some Sylvia Plath (She seems like your kind of poet). You can look up her famous poems like 'Daddy' and 'Lady Lazarus' on oldpoetry.com. Then, take your first four lines and try to make a different, creative rest of the poem.
I hope my comments help you in your future writing.
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