I was 8 and living with my father
He kept me out of school half of that year,
he was on the run.
I swam a lot, and wandered the hills
with my Queensland heeler, Blue
One day, feeling a bit tired,
I took an afternoon nap
I slept on the top bunk
My younger brother, the bottom
Slipping from alpha into beta
I began to hear a ringing in my ears
Catching my attention, I focused upon it
Strangely, it seemed quite inorganic
And separate from me, nothing I'd ever
heard before. It pulsed and changed
and frankly scared the hell out of me, mostly
because I knew I had no control over
what this noise-feeling was doing, and
there was something peculiarly sinister,
and foreign about it. I could feel it for one
actually feel the noise -- cold electric
washing over me like a wave, buzzing
from small to large in a procession of
force, I wanted it to stop, to go away,
but it would not listen, it wanted something
from me... My mind reeled at the choices
POP, the air around me lit up with a chilled
static -- I would not open my eyes
Whatever it was, it was here now
physically in my room, and then like
a nightmare you cannot wake up from
the worst possible thing happened
It began to work its way from my feet
to my head -- slithering up my body
was some creature I was not prepared
to meet -- I could not scream, I could not move
It wanted something from me, but what?
It's in my mind saying something
It says it "wants me to see"
Everything goes black with a whoosh,
and there's a new land before me
Of smashed city and burnt out sky
the sun is speckled, clouds bloody
I am flying over the earth encased
In some living vehicle
yes, I said "living vehicle"
there is not a soul, anywhere,
and I am filled with such immediate
sorrow, that I need to vomit
No trees, no water, nothing,
but the sense of fate,
and no tomorrow.
Author notes
Written May 9th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Prophecy of the Poets by neoladyem.
300 points, ended April 5, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow! This is the scarest poem I have read so far in my contest. My goss bumbs have goss bumbs on them. Very detialed and dramatic.
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Woah, this is really cool. Thanks for entering my contest.
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seems as if the aliens threw you back in the gene pool but you managed to keep your head up with a selection of good strong strokes and an honorable mention in the press....congrats are in order...Artis
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I really like the changes on this.
Mary -
Fascinating, chilling, damn scary! Great write, good luck in the contest
PJ -
great suggestion though, reads much better, thanks.
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It never is.
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This reminds me of a Steven King type of story for some reason. Overall, I like this but for some reason it just doesn't feel as strong as many of the other writes of yours I've come across. Maybe it's just that I think it could have been more tight in a few areas. For example, in your first three verses you have: "He kept me out of school half of the year that year, he was on the run..." I switched that in my mind to "He kept me out of school half of that year, he was on the run"...
Overall, I do like this and think it's a strong piece. It just wasn't what I expected for some reason. Thanks for taking the time to enter it into the contest. -
I always knew you was an alien.. lolololol
Do you have scales and purple spots when you shed that gorgeous exteriour.. lolololol
hehehhe
Good writing hun.. a twist in the tale..
~GILL~xx -
horus8 - abducted by aliens? You decide - the amazing story tonight on Fox. The answer is on Uranus.
Scott
Oh yeah...keep writing, you rawk. -
Horus, you never fail to intrigue me.
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You really need to have better aim at whapping that alarm clock, it kept going off and sent you into a type of sub-catalytic shock, to some far off place in your cobwebbed mind. Sorta of a modern day aversion of "The Bells." by poe horus 8. Bet you had crow for breakfast tho!!~~~LOL
Edited on May 09, 8:57 p.m. because ''. -
Intriguing...and just generally amazing. <3Natalie
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Wow, I agree this is such an unusual piece. A premonition perhaps or just your imagination. Either way I am intrigued. Not entirely sure what to think. It seems to me though as more a of short story though then a poem. Truely though it makes me think. I feel a sense of foreboding from it as well. Thanks for sharing
God Bless
Tammy -
This is such an unusual piece. The final stanza is chilling. Really glad to see your work here in our contest.
Mary
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