Sitting there on that couch
With an empty cushion beside you
Feeling like you have missed out
Wanting what everybody seems to have
Wanting that person next to you
Somebody to fill the empty cushion
Somebody to ease your pain
Somebody to lift you up higher than they can see
Holding you strong and tall
Never wanting you to hit the ground
Always keeping your heart in his reach
Loving you even when nobody’s around
Singing to you in your sleep
Even when he knows you cant hear
Its the thought of having you there
That keeps him hanging around
You look at that cushion that seems to stand out
That seems to cry out for someone to fill the space
Fill the space that the other cushions have
That cushion looking like how your heart feels
Empty and cold
Kind of a used and abused thing
You think somebody is going to sit
But then they change there mind and your friend is the one he picks
Holding her strong and tall
Never wanting her to hit the ground
Always keeping her heart in his reach
Loving her even when nobody’s around
Singing to her in her sleep
Even when he knows she cant hear
Its the thought of having her there
That keeps him hanging around
Maybe I will find him
The one that is meant for me
The one to fill my cushion
And the one to lift me up so high it makes birds look up
Singing to me when I cant hear
He has to be near
The one that makes the things happen for me
He is out there
Waiting for someone he can treat like this
I’m trying to find him and live in pure bliss
Author notes
this is how i feel.....i hope you like it! and i hope that i will find sombody that will make me feel this way!!!
hopefully......
Written May 9th, 2005
A contest entry
- Your Best by Quiksilver24.
300 points, ended July 4, 2005, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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thank you so much! i will deffenetly keep everything you say in mind! thankx again!
~*CASEY*~ -
okay... may I tell you what is wrong with this and why you are having a bit of trouble in writing lyrics or songs... ok, TIP: in writing songs/lyrics, there is alot of repeating usually. Choruses are the main thing. A chorus is what holds the song together... if you don't have a chorus, then your song is going to be a mess... is gunna be floppin all over the place and you're going to wander. (what I mean by "wander" is lose the topic of your song/lyrics and you start to kinda change what it is you're writing about and then it becomes a not so good write... you see... there's no such thing as a bad write... cuz if you do a horrible job on it, it's funny... so either way people are gunna like it...) but anyways, and when you write anything, don't repeate yourself, something like this:
"Sitting there on that couch
With an empty cushion beside you"
"You look at that cushion that seems to stand out
That seems to cry out for someone to fill the space
Fill the space that the other cushions have
That cushion looking like how your heart feels"
"The one to fill my cushion"
See, the song would be fine, but see, you're talking way too much about this cushion. The reader wants to read more than just about "this cushion". And when you write a song/lyrics, make sure you seperate the choruses from the bridges from the verses. (and if you don't know what a bridge is it is the part of the song that introduces the listener or reader to the chorus.)
So, um, I hope this'll help you on the whole song writing thing... this was a really good write, it just could use some work... kk?
thanx again for the comment
tah
-Kai
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i loved it casey it was so good love ya smooches
~chelsea~ -
Awww....CaseyBoo I love it!!!Muah!!!
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i didnt like it... i LOVED it!!!.. this was so good.. i can relate to this so so much! i love it.. great great job case... i love it.. xoxo stac
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that was so good babe!.your such a great writter!..you should enter anna's contest.luv ya lots
-Britt
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