I’m no longer your lady.
The realization slams against the wall
And
s
l
i
d
e
s
like a broken egg
runny with promises and regret.
I am a cliché:
Standing here
Watching as your car
Drives away
Staring at the taillights
As they become just
two
more stars
In a lonely sky
That will bring no comfort tonight.
And I hate this woman I’ve become,
This nothing-left-day-dreamer
Who keeps hoping that you’ll turn around,
Who clutches a letter
And rereads your words
Until the meaning has d
r
a
i
n
e
d
from the ink,
and there isn’t even irony left
in the “love” or which you speak.
I smash everything
Once I’ve come to my senses,
And give a primal scream
Up to the gods
Before I find myself quiet again,
On the floor
In the wake of your disaster.
Author notes
This poem follows "No Longer Your Lady" by Catastrophe Waitress. I'm been writing a lot of poetry lately that plays with word form. Please let me know what you think 
Written May 9th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Don't Tear Out My Heart, if you Can't Put It Back by DanielleFace.
500 points, ended January 8, 2007, 53 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
very good
"And I hate this woman I’ve become,
This nothing-left-day-dreamer
Who keeps hoping that you’ll turn around,
Who clutches a letter
And rereads your words
Until the meaning has drained
from the ink,
and there isn’t even irony left
in the “love” or which you speak"
-wow, i've felt this way, this exact way, wonderful write
*lys*
-
really really good.
i think in part where it says "or" it should say "of"
other than that.. really good.
thanks for entering. -
Excellent
I enjoyed this very much..I felt the form enhanced the words as I saw the egg running down the wall. It would have worked even better without a side border to the page as much of the text was lost. Great work !
-
An amazingly creative poem! I love your format, it's really original. I love your wording throughout. Th eonly criticism I have is that it's a little bit hard to read the "slides" part, but it's ok.
An amazingly visual poem! You're a really creative poet!
~lavender shadows~ -
You're excused ; p
Honestly, this poem was much better than mine, I enjoyed reading it thouroughly. I'm not the judge but you have my praise!
You did the line justice. -
oops- my bad- the poem "No Longer your Lady" was by Imokon
-
Wait..... I'M CatastropheWaitress and I do not recall writing that poem.
I liked the visual effects in this poem although "drained" was a little hard to read at first. I absolutely LOVE the lines "and the realization slams against the wall / and slides / like a broken egg / runny with promise and regret" AWESOME! 
The next stanza about being cliche was just... wow. I can relate to this poem so well! Thanks for your entry, I'm sorry the judging is taking so long, and please keep writing! ^_^
Em
-
great poem. i love the bit about the two stars! good luck!
-
wll i must say that i like the feeling of this piece as well. you've gota unique use of language-the runny eggs bit caught me off guard but fascinated me all the same. and i love the idea behind the poem, it's something that i can relate to and it always amazes me when i can find that in other poet's work. lovely job. -ryn
-
This was good I really liked it and this poem it feels like my lifes story. The things you say in this poem about losing love it happened to me recently so I understand this poem pritty well. I don't really like the word form though but I can overlook that because this was such a great poem.
-
This is an awesome piece. I truelly loved it. I lvoe the imagery you used. Keep it up. -Raye
-
I'm not big on the whole word form thing I guess is what it's called but it was used pretty well in here so congrats on that. I liked the way you wrote this and the style, you had a lot of really great descriptions that I liked. Overall, great work
~Cait~ -
Very Good.
I liked this very much. You made your poem original with imagery, because of that it wasn’t just another sad love poem. And the word form that you used added to the poem also. It was a very effective write. Thanks for sharing it with us.
~Laura~
-
"The realization slams against the wall
And
s
l
i
d
e
s
like a broken egg
runny with promises and regret."
Such a visual! Very nice imagery in this piece, although word form, for me, is odd. I like writing traditional poetry, without actually forming pictures. I just rely on good ole imagery to do that
-
amazing
oh WOW. I just loved this. Not your average "lost love" poem...it was jsut amazing... I can't get over the metaphors and the atmosphere. You are the style I try to capture. <3 -
the word manipulation was ok, for the most part. the only bits that i didn't like were the "slides" and "drained." the way those were done just seems... too simple. many people write words such as those like that. besides that, the piece was pretty good. good luck in the contest!!
~tyler
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
